I hate when I binge drink.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 7
I hate when I binge drink.
Hi. My problem is that often when I drink, I end up binge drinking. This happens especially when I start drinking during the day. Usually something takes me out early, in yesterday's case I went out at noon to watch football and I don't think I got home until after midnight. I had a blast but I also blew through like 400 bucks, dealt with depression and major anxiety all day today and ate all kinds of crap because I buy the myth that greasy food helps with hangover. True or not I hate eating stuff like that because I like staying fit. I'm tired of feeling so awful about myself and worrying about what a d-bag I was probably being the night before. But I'll be honest, I don't want to be one of those people who just don't drink. I am very able to go out to dinner, order some wine with my meal, and still go home afterwards or even have a few drinks at home and watch a movie or something and not drink myself crazy. But social situations are what get me. If I go out to a bar and get chatting and hanging out then i usually end up making toasts like "here's to tomorrow's hangover" and then boom....next day I'm feeling awful, regretful and worthless. I don't want to go to AA for this reason and because I've heard they have some affiliations I would rather not be part of. I guess I was just wondering what other people who might feel the same way think about this and how they've dealt with it. Thanks for any and all advice. Hope you're well!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi ChiFit
That's the situation most of us find ourselves in - we don't like we drink so much, but we don't want to stop either.
I started as a binger...I could keep it together when I had to, but it wasn't fun...I preferred when I could 'let go'...
in my case I progressed to where I was never able to control my drinking at all....but I didn't want to quit, or change my life either....so I kept drinking.
Eventually I drank to the point I affected my mental and physical health, and suffered enough consequences that I had to change my life....I had no choices left.
There's no magic wand ChiFit - if you've tried and you can't control your drinking (and thats what binging is) you need to look at things squarely...
if you're like me, and most of us here, you'll have do something about it, sooner or later.
I know it's not the kind of post you were hoping to read, but I wish I'd faced up to my reality sooner - I wasted 20 years hoping things would just getting better without me having to change anything.
D
That's the situation most of us find ourselves in - we don't like we drink so much, but we don't want to stop either.
I started as a binger...I could keep it together when I had to, but it wasn't fun...I preferred when I could 'let go'...
in my case I progressed to where I was never able to control my drinking at all....but I didn't want to quit, or change my life either....so I kept drinking.
Eventually I drank to the point I affected my mental and physical health, and suffered enough consequences that I had to change my life....I had no choices left.
There's no magic wand ChiFit - if you've tried and you can't control your drinking (and thats what binging is) you need to look at things squarely...
if you're like me, and most of us here, you'll have do something about it, sooner or later.
I know it's not the kind of post you were hoping to read, but I wish I'd faced up to my reality sooner - I wasted 20 years hoping things would just getting better without me having to change anything.
D
31/10/10
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 241
ChiFit, I find not drinking at all is easier than trying to control my drinking. Which I too, could do at some events. I didn't always get totally smashed.
I've known for years that I'd probably end up in AA - or some other recovery program, there are many non-religious recovery groups too. Actually, AA isn't affiliated to any religion if that's what you are worried about - but, yes, there is a concept of a higher power which some people choose to call god, and some groups do say the lord's prayer.
I am digressing, that wasn't your question.
Nope, I couldn't moderate, I realised that although some friends my think I'm not as much bar-fun as I used to be - I surely feel much much better about myself when I don't drink.
Even if you don't quit for good today - remember that there are many of us and that you are welcome to join whenever you want to.
vee
I've known for years that I'd probably end up in AA - or some other recovery program, there are many non-religious recovery groups too. Actually, AA isn't affiliated to any religion if that's what you are worried about - but, yes, there is a concept of a higher power which some people choose to call god, and some groups do say the lord's prayer.
I am digressing, that wasn't your question.
Nope, I couldn't moderate, I realised that although some friends my think I'm not as much bar-fun as I used to be - I surely feel much much better about myself when I don't drink.
Even if you don't quit for good today - remember that there are many of us and that you are welcome to join whenever you want to.
vee
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
Hi Chifit,
It kind of depends on whether you can control it a little better. I was part of a major drinking gang in my 20s. We would completely tear the behind out of it Thurs-Sun. We met up each day with colossal "fear" and almighty hangovers. We would have the usual, "I am never drinking again!" speeches and then have the "full Irish" (breakfast) and loads of tea. Then some genius would start up with a few shots and away we go!
Well, we all did this for years and then some people broke off and got married and started getting a bit of sense. Today most are settled and married with the occasional "mad night out" but all is well. A few of us are not so lucky and became alcoholics. There were a lot of drugs also, but I never was interested in that scene. I am an alcoholic and to be honest was different from the beginning. I had a huge capacity and also did not suffer physically as much. I was sensible enough to take a bottle of Jack from someone for his own good but then drink the whole thing and end up unconscious later. How did that happen? Have had major blackouts which could have been very dangerous except that we were a crowd that minded each-other.
At some point I started drinking at home on my own and this is a "no-no". It is NOT social drinking and would be frowned on by my peers. I became isolated and then the underlying depression and everything snow-balled.
Well, how old are you? Can you stop? Can you stay home for a night because you have work in the morning? Money-wise, are you in trouble? Can you say that at this point you would be the same as the others? Can you have a girlfriend? Have you lost a lot to drink?
You may just be a "big drinker" who will grow out of it, or you may be on a progression toward alcoholism. Only you can decide. Try going on the wagon for a month. See how it goes. Only you can decide.
By the way, AA is a great way of getting support to stop. It gets a bad rap really. I do not understand this because it seems weird that so many people would have a problem with a completely free group that helps so many people. The Big Book is worth reading. It is quite old-fashioned, but they decided to leave it as is because so much work and group expertise and experience went into it. It is so relevant even today. Go to an AA meeting and ask for a copy. It will be free or at cost price.
OK, so sorry for the big ramble! Hope that some of this helps. You can either continue your olympic drinking for a while longer, and then slow down as most of my friends did, or go on to be an alcoholic. Luck of the draw really. Think also about family history, personality type etc.
Good luck.
It kind of depends on whether you can control it a little better. I was part of a major drinking gang in my 20s. We would completely tear the behind out of it Thurs-Sun. We met up each day with colossal "fear" and almighty hangovers. We would have the usual, "I am never drinking again!" speeches and then have the "full Irish" (breakfast) and loads of tea. Then some genius would start up with a few shots and away we go!
Well, we all did this for years and then some people broke off and got married and started getting a bit of sense. Today most are settled and married with the occasional "mad night out" but all is well. A few of us are not so lucky and became alcoholics. There were a lot of drugs also, but I never was interested in that scene. I am an alcoholic and to be honest was different from the beginning. I had a huge capacity and also did not suffer physically as much. I was sensible enough to take a bottle of Jack from someone for his own good but then drink the whole thing and end up unconscious later. How did that happen? Have had major blackouts which could have been very dangerous except that we were a crowd that minded each-other.
At some point I started drinking at home on my own and this is a "no-no". It is NOT social drinking and would be frowned on by my peers. I became isolated and then the underlying depression and everything snow-balled.
Well, how old are you? Can you stop? Can you stay home for a night because you have work in the morning? Money-wise, are you in trouble? Can you say that at this point you would be the same as the others? Can you have a girlfriend? Have you lost a lot to drink?
You may just be a "big drinker" who will grow out of it, or you may be on a progression toward alcoholism. Only you can decide. Try going on the wagon for a month. See how it goes. Only you can decide.
By the way, AA is a great way of getting support to stop. It gets a bad rap really. I do not understand this because it seems weird that so many people would have a problem with a completely free group that helps so many people. The Big Book is worth reading. It is quite old-fashioned, but they decided to leave it as is because so much work and group expertise and experience went into it. It is so relevant even today. Go to an AA meeting and ask for a copy. It will be free or at cost price.
OK, so sorry for the big ramble! Hope that some of this helps. You can either continue your olympic drinking for a while longer, and then slow down as most of my friends did, or go on to be an alcoholic. Luck of the draw really. Think also about family history, personality type etc.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
I agree with Hollyanne go on the wagon....but instead of a month try 6...if that doesn't faze you maybe you are ok....during that period maybe research moderation and do some reading here. I don't consider sobriety a life sentence but rather a gift.
Oh, and AA. Is not the only way to get and stay sober
Oh, and AA. Is not the only way to get and stay sober
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 176
ChitFit, I know how you feel cause I go through the same feelings. The thing is you can't have your cake and eat it too. If you could REALLY control your drinking you would have done it by now. True, you may be able to sometimes control it, but not all the time. So if you want to continue to drink, you will have to live with the bad times. And also realize the bad times will become more frequent and harder to control.
If you decide you don't want to live with the binges and the expense of them (financially, physically and emotionally) you will most likely have to give up drinking all together. Myself, I haven't been able to do it yet. And some nights I'm ok (last nite just 2 glasses of wine) but other nights (like Friday night) I'm up all night making an ass of myself, blowing cash and feeling like garbage all the next day.
I hope you find peace cause this is a terrible way to live.
If you decide you don't want to live with the binges and the expense of them (financially, physically and emotionally) you will most likely have to give up drinking all together. Myself, I haven't been able to do it yet. And some nights I'm ok (last nite just 2 glasses of wine) but other nights (like Friday night) I'm up all night making an ass of myself, blowing cash and feeling like garbage all the next day.
I hope you find peace cause this is a terrible way to live.
April 18, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,117
Chit, your post sounds familiar to me . . . I too could sometimes control my drinking, but often could not, and as I drank more, I had less and less of a chance of knowing which nights I could keep control and when things would spiral. I decided to stop drinking entirely, and it has been rewarding, if sometimes quite difficult.
I don't use AA; I had strong reservations about it but I did try several meetings. I do consider trying it again sometimes. For these past nine months, though, my primary form of support has been this website. I also saw a counselor at first.
Hope to see more of you!
I don't use AA; I had strong reservations about it but I did try several meetings. I do consider trying it again sometimes. For these past nine months, though, my primary form of support has been this website. I also saw a counselor at first.
Hope to see more of you!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
I tried over and over to control my drinking. Never could.
Each time I fell off the wagon I was sicker and sicker until I finally had to give it up for good. Over a year now and don't regret quitting, only wish I'd quit earlier.
I hope you can come to a good point with your drinking, either drinking responsibly or not at all. I honestly don't miss it at all.
Each time I fell off the wagon I was sicker and sicker until I finally had to give it up for good. Over a year now and don't regret quitting, only wish I'd quit earlier.I hope you can come to a good point with your drinking, either drinking responsibly or not at all. I honestly don't miss it at all.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 7
Hollyanne, thank for the "big ramble" as you put it. That was very helpful. I think I will take a break for a month. It really doesn't stress me out to not drink but the big test will come when I try and moderate the next time I do.
American Girl: I think you guys will be seeing more of me thanks for the advice.
Thanks to everyone who offered up some words I really appreciate it. I can see why this forum can be so helpful.
American Girl: I think you guys will be seeing more of me thanks for the advice.
Thanks to everyone who offered up some words I really appreciate it. I can see why this forum can be so helpful.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,516
Originally Posted by ChiFit 
the big test will come when I try and moderate the next time I do..
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: The Present
Posts: 425
Hi ChiFit...
When I read your post, the following words (isolated from the text) made me wonder if you really don't want to be one of those people who just don't drink at all...
binge drinking, drinking during the day, home after midnight, blew 400 bucks, depression, major anxiety, ate all kinds of crap, hangover, hate, tired of feeling so awful about myself and worrying, wine with my meal, a few drinks at home, tomorrow's hangover, feeling awful, regretful and worthless.
When I read your post, the following words (isolated from the text) made me wonder if you really don't want to be one of those people who just don't drink at all...
binge drinking, drinking during the day, home after midnight, blew 400 bucks, depression, major anxiety, ate all kinds of crap, hangover, hate, tired of feeling so awful about myself and worrying, wine with my meal, a few drinks at home, tomorrow's hangover, feeling awful, regretful and worthless.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 7
Awol: That was about the binge drinking. I feel fine with just a few drinks and enjoy it without the regrets. Next day is ok too. I'll keep you guys posted on my progress and break from drinking. Thanks again!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
ChiFit - welcome to the forum. You're so wise to ask the questions you're asking. When I started drinking, it was all social, but like you I didn't pace myself or know when to stop.
From what I understand, the body can process one unit of alcohol (like one beer, 5 oz. wine, 1 1/2 oz liquor) every hour, so maybe being aware of that will help you. After getting sober I've noticed that people who are true social drinkers, while they go overboard once in a while, often have 2 drinks and are ready to go home. They don't crave the buzz.
Good luck and all the best!
From what I understand, the body can process one unit of alcohol (like one beer, 5 oz. wine, 1 1/2 oz liquor) every hour, so maybe being aware of that will help you. After getting sober I've noticed that people who are true social drinkers, while they go overboard once in a while, often have 2 drinks and are ready to go home. They don't crave the buzz.
Good luck and all the best!
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