iloveanaddict

My fiance text me this morning.. his best buddy's wife died from accidental overdose at 10 a.m. I dont know what to expect, I dont know what to say really guess all I can do is be here. No one knew she was using so this is very cunning and baffeling to everyone. She was in her early thirties with two teenage girls. Their friends are all recovering addicts, I just pray this doesn't lead them to stumble and only open their eyes to the dangers.

Thanks for all prayers and support

Dignity

OH DEAR~How sad... I' too''''hope this opens a few eyes and doesn't turn anyone back to drugs. Hugs~

iloveanaddict

My fiance is going to talk to his youngest daughter tonight, she knew his friend's wife very well. i'm quite proud of him as he is going to tell her the truth which in turn will lead him to tell her his story. there is also going to be a prayer meeting of some sort tonight.. unfortunately we're a couple hours apart and i didnt make arrangements to go. i wonder if i should have gone even though he told me not to worry about it. initially i just felt his friend would need him without me as a distraction.. now i'm just not sure.. i do know i need to stop obsessing over this as i cant change my decision now and could possibly go tomorrow if i feel we (my kids and i) should. he told me today that she reminded him of me so he's probably needing me to comfort him and i want to be there i just felt unsure when he told me not to be sorry i wasnt there

Impurrfect

It sounds like he's doing what he needs to do. My advice is to let him.

You can drive yourself crazy, wondering what he's thinking, whether he's in recovery or using. None of us have that power with another person. When my XABF died (from his addiction), the people I depended on most were other RA's. It's not that others didn't love me or care about me, or hurt for me, it's just that they didn't understand.

Don't beat yourself up for not being there tonight. This is life in recovery...some get it, some don't, some die. Though I totally understand you wanting to be there for him, this is something that will probably happen again. Do what is best for you and your kids, and give him the dignity of doing what he needs to do. Don't take it as a personal affront if he doesn't say "I NEED you here"....he seems to be doing the right thing, IMO.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

iloveanaddict

Thank you Amy,

you are right, i havent taken it personal though just i have no idea what to say or do just kinda lost but you are right.. hes doing what he needs to be doing and i need to be doing what ii need to do

thank you