FlipFlop78

This is my very first post ever in these forums and I'm so happy to have found them. I have quite a dilemma and needed somewhere to share. My mother has been an alcoholic my entire life (32 years). Over the last 10 years she has deteriorated so much that she rarely leaves the house. I have begged and pleaded with her to get help but she will never admit that it's a problem. I have sadly resolved to the fact that I have to live my life the best way I know how and cannot spend every waking hour worrying and caring for her. My enabling stepfather has taken over that role.

My fiance and I are getting married in less than 2 months. She has always been on my guest list but I've recently been having second thoughts about it. She asked if my dad (her ex husband) was going to be there. When I told her yes she immediately said she wasn't going (she has unresolved anger issues with that). I've tried talking to her about it and she just hangs the phone up on me. My stepfather has also tried talking to her but she wont' listen to reason. I refuse to have to choose between my mother and my father anymore. She's made me do that for most of my life. I'm to the point where I'd rather her just not even be there because I know of the drunken scene she is capable of causing. It wouldn't matter if I asked the bartender not to serve her, she wakes up drinking so she would already be drunk at the ceremony/reception.

I've tried talking about this with my fiance and my close friend and they both keep telling me to do what's best for me. And they ask if I'm prepared for the "repercussions" that dis inviting her will have on me. I have to honestly say I am. I'm beyond exhausted with this situation. Beyond exhausted with her. I need one day for just me, drama free.

Has anyone else dealt with something similar to this at your own wedding/event?

LovesToTravel

I've been married for over 28 years. When people talk about our wedding a couple of things come to mind. My FIL arrived after I had walked up the aisle and he was drunk. And my MIL and neice were out in the car. They missed the dinner. People were telling husband that they were sorry about his dad all night. We basically ignored them and everyone had a wonderful time (as far as I know). I believe that the family (his) came to expect it...but it wasn't my family. Don't think I could disinvite anyone. You should invite and it she doesn't come it was her choice and not yours. If you think that there will be a problem have a bouncer ready and enjoy your day!