Floss

Well, last night (NYE) was a real winner! I had all my kids last night and we were going to go to the fireworks near the beach. Problem is, it's tourist season here and you literally cannot get parking anywhere near the beach. The streets were gridlocked, so that did not happen. The kids decided they wanted to stay at home. My sister and some friends were going to the local drinking hole (pub). I was able to get babysitting for a couple of hours and went along. After being there half an hour, I gave a few friends a lift home and was on my way back to the pub when I noticed a voicemail on my phone. I listened to it and it was from a friend begging me to pick her up because her new husband was being very violent and aggressive. This guy reminds me of my exADFH. He is larger than life, funny, eccentric and also a violent drunk. Lovely when he's sober but an arse under the influence.

So, last night I picked up this friend and her husband asked me to wait a couple of minutes and he'd get a lift too. We drove off without him. I took my friend to the pub (she wanted to go there because my sister was there and they're best friends). Next thing you know, her husband arrives and was pissed off with me for driving off and demanded to know why. Because he was in a very, very aggressive state, I apologised and then he demanded money from his wife for beer. She got some coins out of her wallet. He said "I don't want that ****ing sh*t, I want a note". She said she didn't have one. I pulled a ten dollar note out and gave it to him, knowing if he didn't get alcohol, he'd go off (he's a boxer as well and can knock a man out cold with one hit). I asked my friend if she'd like to stay at my house that night but she said she'd better go home, with him. I left not long after that and went home and shared NYE with my kids.

They were married less than two months ago. They met 10 months ago (red flag!). It was the first time my friend admitted their relationship was getting progressively violent but she minimised it saying "but he'd never hit me". I said to her "he cracked your rib pushing you and he's pinned you down. It will get worse". I am letting her go on this journey herself. She's been there before. She's there again. I went back into the ring myself in the past. She will get out if and when the time is right. I will be there to support her, but I cannot control or fix the situation. I'm learning!

I should have stayed home last night but I must have been there for a reason. Maybe to help my friend and also because I saw my ex in her husband and I know I will never go back to that or anyone else addicted to alcohol (or drugs) again...what a nightmare!

Happy New Year to everyone on SR! If you're spending it at home on your own or with your kids, maybe there's a reason for that! Enjoy it!

Jadmack25

I believe each of us can be used by God, as an emergency Angel and it looks like you were it, last night.

Here's hoping your friend learns fast, before her AH shows what a nasty turn he can really be.

Floss

Hi Jadmack. I think God did use me last night...and my friend knows I've been there and felt comfortable to ask me to help. She will get through this. She's a strong woman. I tell you what though, I've learnt so much here and when she was asking questions last night like "why does he act like this when he drinks" and "he's always angry until he has his first beer, why?" and "he gets up at 7am and drinks", I was able to answer as now I have more knowledge based on my experiences and the wealth of wisdom I find on the boards here and in meetings....