The Social Drinker
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
The Social Drinker
Hey all. I have seen a lot of posts about wanting to be a social drinker again and I'd like to give my two cents on this person. The social drinker to me doesn't even relate to me. To me, a social drinker is one that can take it or leave it. I could never do that. Once I get on a spree, it's on. The social drinker is not looking to get out of booze what I am.
I am looking for that warm feeling all over my body, the sense that "everything will be OK", the feeling of belonging, to be funnier, wittier, better looking, smarter, more insightful, etc... The social drinker doesn't even think about the drink. It's an addition to whatever they are doing. For me, whatever I am doing is an addition to my booze.
One analogy I have is Vicodin. I know people who freaking love Vicodin. I have been perscribed it a few times for pain. I have probably taken 20 Vicodin pills in my life. I don't happen to like it. I don't really dislike it, frankly I don't even think it does much for me. I can do with or without it. I only use it for pain and when perscribed it. If Vicodin were legal, and sold at every sporting event, and advertised on TV, I would be a "normal" vicodin user. I can do with or without it. I would never look for it on my own, I would never take it if I weren't in pain, basically it serves no purpose to me.
However, to a person who is addicted or lets just say really enjoys taking Vicodin, he may look at me and think how on earth can you not take the whole freaking bottle??? The reason, is it's just not my cup of tea.
The same can be said for the normal drinker, they are only "normal" because they are not consumed with the drink. The are not looking for the same thing as me when they drink.
That is why I don't ever ponder the idea "why can't I be a normal drinker". I can't, because I'm not. I never was. I have known that booze changes me since I was 14 years old. I am not angry at normal drinkers or bitter that I can't be.
To me, recovery is all about acceptance. Sorry for the rant, it is just something that has been on my mind lately. Hopes this helps some people. Best of luck to all! We can all do this, one day at a time...
I am looking for that warm feeling all over my body, the sense that "everything will be OK", the feeling of belonging, to be funnier, wittier, better looking, smarter, more insightful, etc... The social drinker doesn't even think about the drink. It's an addition to whatever they are doing. For me, whatever I am doing is an addition to my booze.
One analogy I have is Vicodin. I know people who freaking love Vicodin. I have been perscribed it a few times for pain. I have probably taken 20 Vicodin pills in my life. I don't happen to like it. I don't really dislike it, frankly I don't even think it does much for me. I can do with or without it. I only use it for pain and when perscribed it. If Vicodin were legal, and sold at every sporting event, and advertised on TV, I would be a "normal" vicodin user. I can do with or without it. I would never look for it on my own, I would never take it if I weren't in pain, basically it serves no purpose to me.
However, to a person who is addicted or lets just say really enjoys taking Vicodin, he may look at me and think how on earth can you not take the whole freaking bottle??? The reason, is it's just not my cup of tea.
The same can be said for the normal drinker, they are only "normal" because they are not consumed with the drink. The are not looking for the same thing as me when they drink.
That is why I don't ever ponder the idea "why can't I be a normal drinker". I can't, because I'm not. I never was. I have known that booze changes me since I was 14 years old. I am not angry at normal drinkers or bitter that I can't be.
To me, recovery is all about acceptance. Sorry for the rant, it is just something that has been on my mind lately. Hopes this helps some people. Best of luck to all! We can all do this, one day at a time...
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Great post, reggie, and I agree wholeheartedly. Probably only alcoholics think about being social drinkers. We only want to control something that's out of control.
I remember smoking a lot of pot back in the days. Almost every day in college. I enjoyed it, but I never craved it. I did it when everyone was doing it, but didn't give it a second thought when it wasn't around. I could care less even to this day.
Alcohol is a different story. I'll never be able to have one or two and be content. I tried (and tried and tried), but you can't force yourself to "not want" something. All you can do is to not act on it.
All that trouble just to pretend like one or two drinks will do it? Geez.......
I remember smoking a lot of pot back in the days. Almost every day in college. I enjoyed it, but I never craved it. I did it when everyone was doing it, but didn't give it a second thought when it wasn't around. I could care less even to this day.
Alcohol is a different story. I'll never be able to have one or two and be content. I tried (and tried and tried), but you can't force yourself to "not want" something. All you can do is to not act on it.
All that trouble just to pretend like one or two drinks will do it? Geez.......
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Hey man, Thanks for the post!! I totally agree and really relate to "whatever I am doing is an addition to my booze". I remember saying this exact thing at a gig a couple of years back and I was deep-in my alcoholism at that point. Like the music is just something to do whilst getting wrecked but to most people I would imagine the opposite to be true.
I was never, never wished to be or would ever be a social drinker!! When I was drinking then I was drinking!! I wasn't leaving until I was heaving!!
Peace
I was never, never wished to be or would ever be a social drinker!! When I was drinking then I was drinking!! I wasn't leaving until I was heaving!!
Peace
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
There were times I'd play 36 holes just so I could drink more. Or go to the golf simulator on Sunday's and buy a twleve pack to just have beer on Sunday. Doesn't sound very "social" does it. I am getting ready to be a "social" coffee drinker! Meeting in 40 minutes. Have a greeeeeeeeeeeeeat day everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 518
Originally Posted by reggiewayne 
There were times I'd play 36 holes just so I could drink more. Or go to the golf simulator on Sunday's and buy a twleve pack to just have beer on Sunday.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 518
I agree with what Reggie posted, but I also have taken a view on severity of alcoholism and at what stages you can combat it. I feel for myself, alcohol did not take control until after I kicked the smoking habit, for me it was addiction to vices. So unlike Reggie who 'only" was addicted to alcohol, I believe I myself can be addicted to anything - and for that reason I have had to retrain my understanding of addictions all together.
This site has been a godsend.
Parting words**** I have come to the conclusion that alcohol is just straight up boring. It provides no help, fun, or excitement in my life. Without it, I have learned to deal with lulls, happiness, sadness, etc.... all on my own - something I have not been able to do for over 10 years. When I am at a party, dinner, social event - I now frown upon alcohol much the same way I do with smoking now. This helps me to master my feelings, and understand situations. If I am bored, I'll simply leave, if I am sad, I'll deal with it, Happy you say? Great, I bask in it now.
Alcohol is bottled death - like smoking is wrapped cancer.
This site has been a godsend.
Parting words**** I have come to the conclusion that alcohol is just straight up boring. It provides no help, fun, or excitement in my life. Without it, I have learned to deal with lulls, happiness, sadness, etc.... all on my own - something I have not been able to do for over 10 years. When I am at a party, dinner, social event - I now frown upon alcohol much the same way I do with smoking now. This helps me to master my feelings, and understand situations. If I am bored, I'll simply leave, if I am sad, I'll deal with it, Happy you say? Great, I bask in it now.
Alcohol is bottled death - like smoking is wrapped cancer.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
My boss (great guy) told me about his nephew last year. 22 yrs old. At some party..everyone was tuned to the max. He wanted to see the guy in the neighboring apartment..the apartment he was in was packed with people..hell why use the door to get next door. He climbed up on the balcony and tryed to swing to the balcony in the next apartment. Fell 6 floors. He didn't die..but will not recover from some of his injuries. We all have horror stories. BUT as you aquire some years..you see more and more catastrophy. It serves no purpose. Not to mention what it does to overall mental health. I frown upon alcohol as well. I am VERY angry I didn't quit before I did!! It makes me SICK!
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 191
My thought about wanting to be a social drinker is that I want to be a normal person and not have this thing hanging over me. I could participate in normal societal rituals, enjoy a glass of wine with dinner, have a beer with friends after work ....
And I think that non-alcoholic drinks still enjoy drinking. They just know how to get a sufficient buzz and stop, unlike us. I wish I could get a safe buzz after a hard day.
And I think that non-alcoholic drinks still enjoy drinking. They just know how to get a sufficient buzz and stop, unlike us. I wish I could get a safe buzz after a hard day.
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: BC
Posts: 161
I don't even want to be a social drinker. I don't want to drink at all. Except when I get cravings, a different voice in my head takes over, and takes control of me, and I don't exist when that voice exists. The Beast is powerful, the beast is alcohol
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