2 Years :)
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
2 Years :)
I knew I wanted to post today, to acknowledge my 2 years, and I am horrible about getting my thoughts together a lot of the time, so bear with me.
I was just rocking my lil guy to sleep for his morning nap, and while I did, I was reading SR on my phone (gotta love internet portability these days!), and looked back at my profile, my messages on my profile, and then read all of the "threads" I have started, from the beginning (I haven't started that many :P ).
I had no idea how emotional this day (it's just a day, right?) would be for me. I have been living in recovery, blissfully (mostly) for two years. It's rather ingrained in me.. it's what I do, and I do it well. It's thoughtless at this point.. or so I assumed. But as I read my posts, and re-experienced the desperation, shame.. hopelessness I remembered feeling, I realized this is a BIG deal. Living through that was a BIG deal.. and now recovering from the worst moments in my life, is a VERY big deal. I'm blessed.
The trauma of living in active alcoholism is astounding to me. I know we put our friends and families, and in my case employers through the ringer when they are an audience to this type of self destruction, but we go through some of our absolute darkest, crippling and sometimes hopeless moments, and I think it's significant to recognize this, and honor the ability we have to find light again in our lives, and to have hope.
I hope if you're still reading.. that you have found some light in recovery, or hope that it can be found.
2 years ago yesterday, I showed up to work drunk, and simultaneously my marriage crumbled as a result.
One week after that, I began pretty intense counseling, that lasted 6 months, and was an absolutely amazing, beautiful experience. One of the hardest things I've done, one of the things I'm proudest of.
While I worked on my recovery, and my actions showed my seriousness, my commitment, and determination.. my marriage became better and more solid than it had ever been.
Three months after that, I found out I was pregnant with my beautiful son, Jameson.
6 months after, I moved into the house of my dreams, it is now my home.. my family home.
One year after, I gave birth to my baby boy. His name is Jameson, and he just celebrated his first birthday. As they say, he is my heart walking outside of my body. He is my little prince, my favorite best friend, my cuddle bug and reason for living in the absolute best ways I possibly can.
And on, and on... My story isn't over, but I know now that I am not a victim of the circumstances in my life, but the architect of it.
Thank you for reading.. I love it 'here', you folks of SR have been some of my biggest cheerleaders, friends, supporters, confidants.. and for that, I honor each and every one of you as we walk this path together.
Jess
I was just rocking my lil guy to sleep for his morning nap, and while I did, I was reading SR on my phone (gotta love internet portability these days!), and looked back at my profile, my messages on my profile, and then read all of the "threads" I have started, from the beginning (I haven't started that many :P ).
I had no idea how emotional this day (it's just a day, right?) would be for me. I have been living in recovery, blissfully (mostly) for two years. It's rather ingrained in me.. it's what I do, and I do it well. It's thoughtless at this point.. or so I assumed. But as I read my posts, and re-experienced the desperation, shame.. hopelessness I remembered feeling, I realized this is a BIG deal. Living through that was a BIG deal.. and now recovering from the worst moments in my life, is a VERY big deal. I'm blessed.
The trauma of living in active alcoholism is astounding to me. I know we put our friends and families, and in my case employers through the ringer when they are an audience to this type of self destruction, but we go through some of our absolute darkest, crippling and sometimes hopeless moments, and I think it's significant to recognize this, and honor the ability we have to find light again in our lives, and to have hope.
I hope if you're still reading.. that you have found some light in recovery, or hope that it can be found.
2 years ago yesterday, I showed up to work drunk, and simultaneously my marriage crumbled as a result.
One week after that, I began pretty intense counseling, that lasted 6 months, and was an absolutely amazing, beautiful experience. One of the hardest things I've done, one of the things I'm proudest of.
While I worked on my recovery, and my actions showed my seriousness, my commitment, and determination.. my marriage became better and more solid than it had ever been.
Three months after that, I found out I was pregnant with my beautiful son, Jameson.
6 months after, I moved into the house of my dreams, it is now my home.. my family home.
One year after, I gave birth to my baby boy. His name is Jameson, and he just celebrated his first birthday. As they say, he is my heart walking outside of my body. He is my little prince, my favorite best friend, my cuddle bug and reason for living in the absolute best ways I possibly can.
And on, and on... My story isn't over, but I know now that I am not a victim of the circumstances in my life, but the architect of it.
Thank you for reading.. I love it 'here', you folks of SR have been some of my biggest cheerleaders, friends, supporters, confidants.. and for that, I honor each and every one of you as we walk this path together.
Jess
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
I am so happy for you, for your new life, your beautiful son, and for your happy sobriety.
You are a shining example of how good it can be to live sober.
Big congrats and hugs on your two years sober! 
And here's to many more happy sober years. 
You are a shining example of how good it can be to live sober. Big congrats and hugs on your two years sober! And here's to many more happy sober years. Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: New Bedford, Massachusetts
Posts: 4
If you dont mind me asking...what exactly were the hardest parts about staying sober. Not being able to go out?, Going out and not drinking?, cutting off relationships with friends so your not put in that "position"?, or is it really all the above,lol
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,955
A big congrats on your sober time. Your involvement here at SR has been increasingly inspirational to me. Your ES&H gives me faith in my personalized recovery program. To know that no matter what label is given to an illness that would have one dead or dying a slow spiritual/emotional/physical death. There is a light that leads out of the madness...and that light is within each of us. Thank you for sharing your journey. I have been blessed to have read your words of pure wisdom.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Wow, your post brought tears to my eyes!
You should be very proud of yourself for how far you've come in two years. And, thank you for all the support you give to our SR family.
You should be very proud of yourself for how far you've come in two years. And, thank you for all the support you give to our SR family.
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