Getting it out there
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 8
Getting it out there
(supposed to say "Getting IT out there)
Hi
Well I have been reading these posts daily, usually in the evening when my triggers to drink are strongest.
Haven't posted in a few weeks. I had been doing ok, avoiding triggers since staying with some of my SO's relatives - to ease the commute to work...and unbeknownst to them (I think), to get myself away from being home alone - that is when I would run into trouble.
Being away from where I typically "did my damage", plus being around people, actually worked. I spent a night here and there alone at my house. A couple of those times, I "white-knuckled" it, kept myself busy, and watched the clock until bedtime came, and could breathe a sigh of relief because all of the liquor stores were closed and even if I wanted to pick up, I couldn't - no booze to pick up.
However, two of those nights...I drank. I try to relieve myself of some of the guilt - I "only" drank about half of what I used to during a typical nightly binge. My hangover wasn't bad the next morning but I didn't feel great either. But, I drank those two nights since posting here for the first time. I went and bought the beer, which I had sworn to myself not to do, but I did it anyways. I swore to myself I'd post here before picking up. Did I? No!
On one hand, it wasn't the end of the world. On the other (and this is now the only hand, so to speak) I picked up after I swore I would not.
I'm back living at home, and so far, have made it without going to the store, buying it, and drinking it. Tonight I'm going thru some anxiety. 6 days sober since my last drink. And unlike previous stretches, I have been nonstop irritable and anxious. Nevertheless, I'm very grateful that I have kept myself busy - even with "goofing off" stuff and not productive things like chores on my to-do list!
As an aside, the last few months - stretches of sobriety punctuated with "mini-drunks" - I have also extremely anal (can I say that here? LOL) about calories, eating right and getting some form of exercise every day. I am not overweight but for some reason I all of a sudden want super-health, like just abstaining from alcohol - which is already a very healthy thing.
OK, I'll wrap it up. I like not drinking, even though it doesn't feel like it right now due to the irritability...probably a womanly cycle thing going on right now too, sorry for TMI. Actually, I love not drinking. I love not having alcohol in my life. I KNOW that it only leads to despair, anxiety, financial hardship, I could go on and on! I love moving in the right direction. I don't want to have any more drunks or even mini-drunks.
Lots and lots of thanks to all of you posting what is going on in your paths of sobriety, for all the tips (a couple of which I am definitely using tonight!), for your support and kindness.
Will keep reading on SR, and hopefully soon will have some words of support and advice on your threads (but right now it's all about ME! LOL)
Hi
Well I have been reading these posts daily, usually in the evening when my triggers to drink are strongest.
Haven't posted in a few weeks. I had been doing ok, avoiding triggers since staying with some of my SO's relatives - to ease the commute to work...and unbeknownst to them (I think), to get myself away from being home alone - that is when I would run into trouble.
Being away from where I typically "did my damage", plus being around people, actually worked. I spent a night here and there alone at my house. A couple of those times, I "white-knuckled" it, kept myself busy, and watched the clock until bedtime came, and could breathe a sigh of relief because all of the liquor stores were closed and even if I wanted to pick up, I couldn't - no booze to pick up.
However, two of those nights...I drank. I try to relieve myself of some of the guilt - I "only" drank about half of what I used to during a typical nightly binge. My hangover wasn't bad the next morning but I didn't feel great either. But, I drank those two nights since posting here for the first time. I went and bought the beer, which I had sworn to myself not to do, but I did it anyways. I swore to myself I'd post here before picking up. Did I? No!
On one hand, it wasn't the end of the world. On the other (and this is now the only hand, so to speak) I picked up after I swore I would not.
I'm back living at home, and so far, have made it without going to the store, buying it, and drinking it. Tonight I'm going thru some anxiety. 6 days sober since my last drink. And unlike previous stretches, I have been nonstop irritable and anxious. Nevertheless, I'm very grateful that I have kept myself busy - even with "goofing off" stuff and not productive things like chores on my to-do list!
As an aside, the last few months - stretches of sobriety punctuated with "mini-drunks" - I have also extremely anal (can I say that here? LOL) about calories, eating right and getting some form of exercise every day. I am not overweight but for some reason I all of a sudden want super-health, like just abstaining from alcohol - which is already a very healthy thing.
OK, I'll wrap it up. I like not drinking, even though it doesn't feel like it right now due to the irritability...probably a womanly cycle thing going on right now too, sorry for TMI. Actually, I love not drinking. I love not having alcohol in my life. I KNOW that it only leads to despair, anxiety, financial hardship, I could go on and on! I love moving in the right direction. I don't want to have any more drunks or even mini-drunks.
Lots and lots of thanks to all of you posting what is going on in your paths of sobriety, for all the tips (a couple of which I am definitely using tonight!), for your support and kindness.
Will keep reading on SR, and hopefully soon will have some words of support and advice on your threads (but right now it's all about ME! LOL)
Last edited by Dee74; 12-12-2010 at 09:12 PM. Reason: typo
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi sunny!
It sounds like you are making good progress:-) the hormonal cycle can actually be a big trigger in my experience and from what I have heard, being aware of it is the first way to prevent it effecting you:-)
So, out of curiosity...aside from the physical healthy lifestyle stuff...what are you doing to make your sobriety stronger ...I know that I am doing a lot of personal work and I think that has been instrumental. I also am on a 'health kick" exercise, diet, etc...but that comes after the mental stuff.
It sounds like you are making good progress:-) the hormonal cycle can actually be a big trigger in my experience and from what I have heard, being aware of it is the first way to prevent it effecting you:-)
So, out of curiosity...aside from the physical healthy lifestyle stuff...what are you doing to make your sobriety stronger ...I know that I am doing a lot of personal work and I think that has been instrumental. I also am on a 'health kick" exercise, diet, etc...but that comes after the mental stuff.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Hi Sunny,
You're probably on to something good. Connecting "super health" ( a journey to great fitness) with your journey in recovery. They go hand-in-hand from my perspective, One cool thing about improved fitness, ....it's something that requires ACTION, and staying in the present. Impossible to "bank it". I mean just because a person was in great shape 5 years ago, doesn't gaurantee anything for his health today.
You can always join us over on the fitness thread "kickin' asphalt" pt2.
We all have different goals and methods, .....but we schedule fitness routines as an element of our sobriety, .....and the support is great !?!
Early on, I'd leave home many nights to get online (probably the last person on earth without a home connection ) SR has been incredibly helpful the last eight months. Isolation is not where I wanted to be early on, for sure.
Glad you're here, .....and moving forward.
You're probably on to something good. Connecting "super health" ( a journey to great fitness) with your journey in recovery. They go hand-in-hand from my perspective, One cool thing about improved fitness, ....it's something that requires ACTION, and staying in the present. Impossible to "bank it". I mean just because a person was in great shape 5 years ago, doesn't gaurantee anything for his health today.
You can always join us over on the fitness thread "kickin' asphalt" pt2.
We all have different goals and methods, .....but we schedule fitness routines as an element of our sobriety, .....and the support is great !?!
Early on, I'd leave home many nights to get online (probably the last person on earth without a home connection ) SR has been incredibly helpful the last eight months. Isolation is not where I wanted to be early on, for sure.
Glad you're here, .....and moving forward.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
Hi again Sunny
I changed your title
I think lots of us go through that binge -super health cycle - I know I did...until in my case the binges got longer & they started to run into each other. Staying healthy was good - but it wasn't enough for me on its own to stop me from returning to old ways.
I found checking in here regularly tho really helped me focus on what the problem was/is - me...and why I wanted to drink when all logic said it was a mad bad and dangerous idea....
D
I changed your title
I think lots of us go through that binge -super health cycle - I know I did...until in my case the binges got longer & they started to run into each other. Staying healthy was good - but it wasn't enough for me on its own to stop me from returning to old ways.
I found checking in here regularly tho really helped me focus on what the problem was/is - me...and why I wanted to drink when all logic said it was a mad bad and dangerous idea....
D
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,787
I had to do a lot of 'work' on myself to eliminate the desire to drink. Probably close to working the twelve steps in AA. I had to change my perspective, my whole attitude, and now am a happy non drinker. Just 'not drinking' wasn't enough to stay sober and happy. I now have peace of mind that I haven't had in years.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: canada
Posts: 23
Hi Sunny.
I also was a binge drinker. I watched the clock waiting for the liquor store to close, so I could breathe easier. I think that I was in denial and everytime I got some sobriety under my belt, I thought that I was cured. LOL
I did an inpatient program and now attend a middle recovery group once a week. I now have 29 months sober. If I can do it, then so can you. Good Luck!!
I also was a binge drinker. I watched the clock waiting for the liquor store to close, so I could breathe easier. I think that I was in denial and everytime I got some sobriety under my belt, I thought that I was cured. LOL
I did an inpatient program and now attend a middle recovery group once a week. I now have 29 months sober. If I can do it, then so can you. Good Luck!!
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