mayson28

I've been wanting to quit for a long time. You know when the drinking is no longer fun?? But then realize you are to hooked to easily stop? So after being caught by the hubby slurring and him ordering me NO MORE, I thought, I have to sieze this oppurtunity or I could lose everything. I am scared but then dying should be scarier right? I am trying to stay positive, no more planning (do I have enough for the long weekend?), hiding, secretly disposing of bottles, missing out with the kids because I'd rather sit and drink. So day 2, no cravings but very anxious last night and nauseous. When I went to bed, little sleep and vivid dreams when I did, I think I woke every hr with a pounding headache. THis morning, just a low grade headache. I hope that I can stay this determined and beat this thing. I am scared of the future therefore having to force myself to think one day at a time. So let's just get through today. Have a good day all

pascal

You are starting an amazing journey. You may want to seek medical help to get through the detox depending on your level of abuse. I will pray for you today.

mayson28

Thanks, I'll have to see how the next few days go. I think asking for help is hard because I have never admitted to anyone but myself how much I was drinking. I am even scared to tell the hubby, which in itself makes this harder when I am suffering the anxiety and pacing all over the house. I'd love to tell him what's going on and have his help

pascal

I can so relate with your post. I still haven't told anyone! The shame and secrecy of addiction really sucks, doesn't it? Keep at it and stay on SR and/or go to AA for some support. I know you are going to make it.

stanleyhouse

Mayson
This all sounds very familiar. I think you should share some of your situation with your husband because you may need a medical detox and you will have to be honest with the doctor so that you can get the help you need to overcome the physical addiction. Your body is accustomed to having alcohol and tell you it needs it. Be cognizant of this fact when the mental cravings hit. Tell yourself, STOP, it's just my body trying to control my mind and find something else to do. A medical detox is the safest way. You do not necessarily have to be admitted into an inpatient program but if your finances and situation allows it a month program can work if you are really ready to stop. I am here to talk if you would like. You can PM me if you like.
Formerly a drunk mom, sober since oct 5, 2009.
SH

mayson28

What does a medical detox entail? Why would I need that over doing it alone?

stanleyhouse

Mayson
Depending on how much you are drinking they monitor your vitals and prescibe some medications to control the withdrawal symptoms like shaking, tremors, sweats, anxiety. All of these things cause people to drink again because it's your body's response to the lack of alcohol in it's system. I would consult your doctor and see what he or she has to say. They have heard it all so don't feel ashamed that you haven't been honest with them.
I'll check back in a little while, I gotta walk the dogs.
SH

coop1

Welcome Mayson, this story sounds very familiar. Tried quitting many times on my own without telling anyone. After numerous tries, I found I wasn't telling anyone just in case I wanted to start again. This time I shared everything with my wife and it has made a world of difference. She has been very supportive and I am now accountable for my actions. Just my perspective. Good luck and hang in there.

mayson28

Thanks Coop1. We've had problems in the past so I am afraid this might put him over the top. We have agreed I stop drinking for good (hence being on day 2) but he doesn't know the true degree of my problem. Did you seek help? I had hoped to rely on this site, me true determination, my journal which I started stating reasons, how I feel, my fears and withdrawls and how to conquer it but it seems it may not be enough according to others I should be doing it with medical help. I have contacted a friend who is checking with a doc she knows to go see her today. Sadly, I had hope to beat this on my own

coop1

I did not need medical help. I am on Day 11 and things were rough in the beginning, but no where near what some people have to go through. Every situation is different though, so be careful.

stanleyhouse

Mayson
Your husband doesn't have to know all the details, just that you are addicted to alcohol and need help to stop. We all need help from others, there is no shame in asking.
Just tell him you have been drinking enough to cause physical withdrawal symptoms which helps answer the answer to the question, "why can't you just stop?"
My husband and I had many problems before I stopped drinking. Stopping did not end the marriage, over time it made it better.
SH

Dee74

Hi again Mayson

If not wanting to tell people, or wanting to keep things quiet is preventing you seeing a Dr, please reconsider.

Many people are fine with detox. Others are not. There's no way to tell who is who.

Nearly 4 years on, I still carry around the legacy of a few mini strokes to remind me why seeing the dr is a simple thing everyone really should do for their own safety and peace of mind.

D

Cottonwoodchris

Hi, Mayson. Detox for me was some of the worst days in my life, but I knew I had to quit. One more ride to the hospital would be my last. DR prescribed me some meds that helped me with the detox. Man, it was sweats, hallucinations, shakes, shivers, vomiting, couldn't walk, just the most awful time.

Without support, I would be right back to a bottle a day now, but instead I have 82 days sober. I found a great NA meeting, a fantastic sponsor, and this website. I can't do it on my own, never could. If you need help, be honest, first with your husband and family. They matter most. They love you and how would they feel if you were'nt around anymore? Next be honest with your doctor. You don't need inpatient rehab, IMHO (we arent' allowed to give medical advice, I'm just speaking from my own experience here) But, you should seek medical advice. Keep posting and updating. We are all in the same boat here.

bdiddy5522

If you are able to stop on your own, my hat is off to you. I know I sure couldn't. It has already been said, but the reason I didn't tell anyone was because then I could start drinking again without people knowing I had stopped. For me, my last drink was when I finally admitted to my wife, my parents and the friendly folk at AA that I was an alcoholic. Then I was "accountable". I mean, if everyone could do this alone, this site wouldn't even exist.

So if you can stop on your own, good for you. But if you find that you can't, or your life just plains SUCKS now that you are sober, I highly encourage you to get into a serious program of recovery.

As for the detox, you know your body the best. If you aren't feeling well, see a doc.

Best wishes, and just remember that we are all here for you.

mayson28

Thanks all for the replies. I did end up going to a Dr. Not my family Dr but a Dr just the same. She prescribed Diazepam in case tthe anxiety and all gets too much. Last night except for around 6pm when the kids started fighting as I was just in the middle of supper (usually when I would gulp down vodka to keep sane) I felt pretty good. After that feeling of OMG, I took a shower and cried, then felt refreshed and the rest of the evening when well. Drank tea in front of a fire watching football, sober. I slept well too. Is it possible I am almost over the withdrawal part of this? I am happy I am on Day 3, and didn't take any of the meds yet!! Again, Congrats to all!

stanleyhouse

that's great mayson. It could be the shaking and nervousness are subsiding. Take care of yourself, your body is recovering.

bdiddy5522

I am glad you went to your doctor. Always better safe than sorry. As for being over the withdrawal, hard to say. Typically I would say after 3-5 days you are on the downhill slide, but everyone is different. As we have all learned, the physical withdrawal is very fast compared to the mental withdrawal. Without help, many people never get over it and end up drinking again. Alcohol is usually used as a cover up for real issues. Until those get dealt with we are just miserable people who are sober. Hence the term "dry drunk".

Keep us posted, and congrats on day three!

Saliena

My husband never really knew how much I drank... even though he thinks he does. He knows I would sneak drinks and hide them around the house. The thing is that you have to be honest with yourself. Which it sounds like you are doing. You have to recover for yourself. If you are recovering for your husband then it will never stick. I have tried that time and time again.

I wish you the best. Sounds like you are on a good road. Go to an AA meeting. It was the best thing I ever did for myself.

Saliena

Jackstone

Mayson,
I could have written your first post on this thread - My life exactly! About 2 years ago I quit on my own for 34 days, but didn't tell anyone (not accountable to anyone, but me!). After that I started back drinking and was drinking more than ever. After some humiliating, humbling events (that won't be shared here), my wife finally confronted me and said she was concerned about how much I was drinking (I guess she'd be really, really concerned if she really knew how much I was drinking). I'm now accountable - she knows I'm trying to quit - that is a HUGE difference from when I have tried to quit in the past. Your loved ones don't need to know details, they just need to know that your trying to quit. My 2 cents!

Dee74

Glad you're feeling good Mayson

D