Kyomi

Hello, I guess this is me introducing myself.

I'm a mother to an incredibly smart 8 year old little boy. He is absolutely amazing!!! I am married to the man I have been with for 9 years, and I am 27 years old. I have Interstitial Cystitis, Endometriosis, and IBS. I have been taking opioid medications since 2003. I started having problems a few months ago. My husband was diagnosed with a debilitating disease called Ankylosing Spondylitis earlier this year, and everything has been downhill since then.

I started taking more of my meds (percocet 10/325.) I continued taking the Morphine ES 60mg as prescribed. When I ran out of my meds I would start taking my husband's pain meds. I was waiting, and waiting for him to catch me because I couldn't say to him, I am an addict. He had too many things going on with him. I didn't want to burden him with my problems as well. He has since lost his job because he had been on STD (Short Term Disability) for 26 weeks. That was why he was fired.... I realized I was taking these meds to numb the feelings that I was going through. He found out tonight, and he thought I didn't care. I explained to him I did care, and I did feel horrible about taking his pills. I also explained that it was a HUGE relief to be "caught."

I'm going to pick up my prescription for my Oxycodone tomorrow, and we are going to work on tapering my meds. I can't go through the ordeal of withdrawal. I've been through that before, and with my husband barely being able to walk, we have nobody to take care of our son. We are going to buy a lock box, and he is going to help me taper down.

I am actually very excited to begin this process. I'm wondering if my "pain" was being made worse by these pills. I hope that I can eventually live somewhat pain free.. I know it will be difficult, but I know I can do it.

Is it wrong to be so happy that he finally found out? Was it hard for others to admit that they had a problem with pills?

Does anybody here suffer from chronic pain as well? How do you do without your meds?

for reading!!!!

least

Welcome to SR! We have a substance abuse forum here, I'll post the link for you. We also have a recovery and pain management forum and I'll post that link as well. I'm glad you found us and joined the family!!

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/substance-abuse/

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...in-management/


My drug of choice was wine, but yes it was hard to admit to myself that I had a problem... cause it meant I had to do something about it.

But with the support of my addiction counselor and this site I am (finally) almost a year sober, so it can be done!

Dee74

Welcome to SR Kyomi

If you haven't already, I recommend you get some medical advice about your addiction, your taper plan, and your pain management.

I hope things go well whatever you choose to do, and I know you'll find a lot of support here

D

Lilly03

Welcome Kyomi! I think it's good that you are glad to be caught - I wish more people I'm close with knew the severity of my problem.

I agree that you should talk to your doc about tapering down the meds. Withdrawal is not easy and having a doctors help could make a huge difference, since you can't get any medical advice here.

Congrats on admitting your problem and getting support.

Kyomi

I can't afford to go see my doc. I've talked to him about tapering before, so I'm going to go with that option until we get insurance again. We had already set aside some money for our scripts as my husband has his AS... We just lost our insurance October 31st.

Thank you for all of the kind words! I've been through withdrawal once before, and it was the scariest thing ever.

Anna

Hi Kyomi,

Welcome and I hope that you can follow through with your plan to get off the medication.

Cornczech

I am a bit older than you, 44 years old as of October. Before I had my hysterectomy in 2006, I had debilitating pain from endometriosis. I too, was a pain pill abuser...probably around the same age as you too. The only reason I was able to stop was because narcotics began to make me more ill than they were worth. As well, I discovered other "options" to numb my physical pain, (as well as the psychic pain), or so I thought. Today, I am struggling with my abuse of and probably addiction to alcohol and cannabis. I only write because I CAN relate. I had 10 abdominal surgeries before I simply gave up and have learned to live with the pain the best way I know how...and we're talking about physical pain here. I no longer have the endometriosis because I no longer have the parts, but now I have chronic pain from the adhesions....in other words....from all the scars the surgeries and the endo left in my body. I am in some level of pain every single day of my life. As for the addiction, I would listen to what the folks here have to say. You've a choice no matter how it may seem. I CAN tell you at age 44 it is a friggin DRAG to be dependent upon a chemical reaction to feel something (or NOT feel something) and if, at age 27, you can get some kind of help....you will have so much more a full, rich life. I look back at who I once was....even with the pain pill abuse....I was so much more of a living being...today, all I do is live from day to day...waiting for my two beers and two joints at the end of the day...that's all I think about. I may think I am better off than when I drank until I blacked out...and had a 6 pack every single day AT THE MINIMUM, (until my brother drank himself to death in 2008 at age 38 and I went into treatment). I know this may seem rambling...but I guess I am trying to send you a picture of a life you do NOT want to mimic. Physical pain can be dealt with and you CAN learn to live with it.....psychic/spiritual pain is quite different. Good luck and I am sorry this was so dang long......

Dee74

Welcome back cornczech.
I hope you'll find your way forward soon too.

D