redrode

hello i am new!! my name is amanda and i am an addict... i used meth for 3 years quit cold turkey had 1 slip and am 6 years clean from it.. i was at the best part of my life.. my husband my kids, i looked great felt great and then i had my baby (home birth ) after i cleaned up from meth i became a super hippy lol very natural and healthy... i started abusing pain meds.. and to tell you the truth i dont think i was abusing then because having my daughter at home i seperated my spine i also have 5 fused and spina bifida.. my back never bothered me until i had her and it was excruciating... my pain meds where not cutting it i started buying methadone off the street because they where cheap they lasted along time and they worked great for pain!!! i have been in physicall and water therapy for 1 year now... and im tired of this ball and chain of addiction somedays i dont want to buy or look for or even take methadone but if i dont i get very very sick... i tried about 4 months ago cold turkey i made it 4 days..... i quit cold turkey again 8 days ago!!! and i have a great mindset about it.. i am so ready to be healthy.. be a real person .. be me... my husband is also addicted to methadone and he quit with me .. we also quit meth together.. i dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing.. anyways.. im at 8 days and i have 3 kids from 9 months to 4 and 6 they need me here.. and i am sooooooooooo exhausted i havent slept in 8 days i can barely eat.. i cant concentrate.. so i bought a couple vicoden to help me sleep just tonight.. i know nobody beleives that but i am srtong i am done with methadone im not letting all these hellish withdrwls go to waste i just have to sleep. at least 1 night this week.... please anyone who has been down this road i could use your advice and support now.

Gmoney

Have you considered giving NA a try?

Bootin1

You will be in my prayers. NA works!

Onewithwings

redrode, I recommend NA as well. I have been there for almost 10 months now, and have 3.5 months clean. I just kept working at it. The program has been really great for me.

We have something in common-- I had a homebirth too! It was awesome.

For opiates I always recommend seeing your dr. and being honest with them about your use. He/She may want you to try tapering off slowly-- are you breastfeeding? If so, the w/d can possibly affect your baby as well, so you'd want to be extra careful.

Like you, I am 'super hippy natural healthy' etc, but even we are not exempt from addiction-- it can hit anybody! I am a researcher by nature, so I know exactly what the drugs I took were doing to me, and I took them anyway. Addiction is that strong! (And I didn't use to get 'a little' high, either, I took tons of pills, even started shooting because I felt I needed more of a rush.) I knew what I was doing and was powerless to stop. That sounds like where you are right now.

There is hope! I came to NA and finally, after a while in the program, began to take suggestions, work the steps with a sponsor, etc, and try to live the program in my daily life-- doing that I cannot fail! I no longer feel the urge to use. That has been a gift I received in NA. I urge you to check out a meeting-- you will find people like you who have gotten clean. It gave me so much hope!

Marcus

Redrode hasn't posted in 2 months. I am praying she is at a NA meeting right now.

sikmik

well i hope you made it dear.. i remember when i kicked oxy's cold turkey i made it 8 days the first time and then went back to using again cuz i was so sick still and then a few months later i tried again, was successful that time and now i am over 5 years clean from opiates but i do remember feeling like i would never feel normal again even after being clean for months but fortunately that was not the case and i am still clean and grateful to be clean and sober from all substances for 51 months now. (after kicking opiates on my own I had to go to treatment 9 months later to kick my first drug of choice..Alcohol)