60 Days!
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 318
60 Days!
Hey all...61 days today and doing well. I went through a lot of quite confusing times and emotions but slowly it all sorts itself out. Over the last 3 weeks I have come down with a NASTY cold and that has made things a bit harder just because I have felt run down but other than that I have been doing well.
I recently made a very sober decision not to utilize AA as my main form of support. I go maybe once per week but never more anymore as I don't feel that I get all that much out of it. I have, however gotten a lot out of AADAC counselling and the support of my friends and family. A lot of things look a lot better today than say 55 days ago when I was in the midst of detox and pain and suffering. I had decided to leave SR but was not sad when I saw that my profile here is still active so that I could post my progress today. I have had a much more positive outlook on life and felt much better over the last several weeks.
My son was having some troubles in school and though that is not going to change in just a couple of months he is doing much better and is a much happier child in and around his home life. He has matured a lot in just 2 months and I am very proud of him. I have 2 step daughters as well and though that relationship is much slower to improve that too is coming. My husband and I are starting, just starting to reconnect on a level that used to be so important and meaningful to me. It is all feeling quite good.
I have been reading a lot and researching alcoholism and looking more into the medical side of the disease and seeing much more clearly why I got into the situation that I am in and that too feels really good.
I have been eating quite well and taking suplements which has helped immensely and I have lost most of the weight that I gained in the first several weeks of recovery. I have learned of some foods that leave me feeling low on blood sugar and avoided those to some degree and I have been really working hard on myself. I pray a lot and I love myself more today than I have in many, many years.
My house is clean most all the time now. We have better meals and more quality time as a family. I am less angry and less sad than I was when I found SR, but this will improve even more over time with counselling and self work.
I had some days where I was terribly confused and felt pushed in way too many directions...trying to follow what was working for everybody else rather than trying to figure out what would work for me and fit into my skin. Now that I have sort of found my place I am finding peace in my recovery. I have a long way to go, I am not fooled, but I love my life a lot more right now than ever before. I now understand and see the damage that I was causing not only my family and friend by myself. I have learned to start to take care of me rather than take care of everyone else around me. I have learned that I cannot feel guilty if I need to take some time for me to meditate or sleep or read...or even just lay in peace and quiet.
My work is going great and my family is improving.
It all takes time...but here I am 61 days further into my recovery than I thought possible that many days ago. The pain is there in the beginning but it does get better.
Hope you are all well...life does go on without looking through the bottom of the bottle...whoda thunk it?
Donna
I recently made a very sober decision not to utilize AA as my main form of support. I go maybe once per week but never more anymore as I don't feel that I get all that much out of it. I have, however gotten a lot out of AADAC counselling and the support of my friends and family. A lot of things look a lot better today than say 55 days ago when I was in the midst of detox and pain and suffering. I had decided to leave SR but was not sad when I saw that my profile here is still active so that I could post my progress today. I have had a much more positive outlook on life and felt much better over the last several weeks.
My son was having some troubles in school and though that is not going to change in just a couple of months he is doing much better and is a much happier child in and around his home life. He has matured a lot in just 2 months and I am very proud of him. I have 2 step daughters as well and though that relationship is much slower to improve that too is coming. My husband and I are starting, just starting to reconnect on a level that used to be so important and meaningful to me. It is all feeling quite good.
I have been reading a lot and researching alcoholism and looking more into the medical side of the disease and seeing much more clearly why I got into the situation that I am in and that too feels really good.
I have been eating quite well and taking suplements which has helped immensely and I have lost most of the weight that I gained in the first several weeks of recovery. I have learned of some foods that leave me feeling low on blood sugar and avoided those to some degree and I have been really working hard on myself. I pray a lot and I love myself more today than I have in many, many years.
My house is clean most all the time now. We have better meals and more quality time as a family. I am less angry and less sad than I was when I found SR, but this will improve even more over time with counselling and self work.
I had some days where I was terribly confused and felt pushed in way too many directions...trying to follow what was working for everybody else rather than trying to figure out what would work for me and fit into my skin. Now that I have sort of found my place I am finding peace in my recovery. I have a long way to go, I am not fooled, but I love my life a lot more right now than ever before. I now understand and see the damage that I was causing not only my family and friend by myself. I have learned to start to take care of me rather than take care of everyone else around me. I have learned that I cannot feel guilty if I need to take some time for me to meditate or sleep or read...or even just lay in peace and quiet.
My work is going great and my family is improving.
It all takes time...but here I am 61 days further into my recovery than I thought possible that many days ago. The pain is there in the beginning but it does get better.
Hope you are all well...life does go on without looking through the bottom of the bottle...whoda thunk it?
Donna
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 318
Thanks Dee. I am happy and content. Of course as you know there are days but I am getting through them with much more strength than before. I am happy to be alive. Lots of past issues to deal with in order to live completely happy, but that is what I am working on.
You are a good Man...thanks!
Donna
You are a good Man...thanks!
Donna
Big congrats and on reaching two months sober!! And thank you so much for sharing your honest experience in early recovery. It helps the newcomer understand some of the ups and downs and that it does get better. It also helps me to not ever give in to the slightest feeling of wanting to drink cause it takes me back to my early days and how rough they were for a time... and I don't want to go back there. YOu have helped me with your post.
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 318
You are very right coffee...I have moments when I get really angry and just as I start to go off on a tangent my mind or something inside of me realizes that this is not the way to deal and I go back to my more sober, clearer mind and deal with things the way that they should be dealt with.
I can tell anyone who is new that no, it is not easy and it does not just go away but in working on yourself and your "reasons" for getting into this you are making yourself and everything around you so much better. I have a long, long way to go but I am miles ahead of where I was 60 days ago when I was laying on the couch in and out of tears and anger, shaking and bawling and feeling remorse and regret and wondering if I was remembering everything that I had done or said.
Today is a wonderful day because I don't drink anymore and I am finally feeling the feelings that are all a part of life, not drowning those feelings and then waking up wondering what the hell was wrong with the world around me. I always knew deep down that I was causing the problems but 2 drinks in if you told me that I would fly off the handle...seriously, there is something wrong with me is what I would automatically go to.
Donna
I can tell anyone who is new that no, it is not easy and it does not just go away but in working on yourself and your "reasons" for getting into this you are making yourself and everything around you so much better. I have a long, long way to go but I am miles ahead of where I was 60 days ago when I was laying on the couch in and out of tears and anger, shaking and bawling and feeling remorse and regret and wondering if I was remembering everything that I had done or said.
Today is a wonderful day because I don't drink anymore and I am finally feeling the feelings that are all a part of life, not drowning those feelings and then waking up wondering what the hell was wrong with the world around me. I always knew deep down that I was causing the problems but 2 drinks in if you told me that I would fly off the handle...seriously, there is something wrong with me is what I would automatically go to.
Donna
Way to go Donna!! I am so happy to see your update as I have thought about you since I remember your early posts. I feel the same way in that life is great in sobriety. Like you I am working on me and still have a ways to go in making positive change but every day gets just a bit better
I know you are one busy chick so I hope you will continue to pop in and share with us.
All the best
I know you are one busy chick so I hope you will continue to pop in and share with us.
All the best
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Nice one on 60 days sober!! Thanks for your post. I relate to the feeling of being pulled in lots of directions in early recovery and not knowing if for example stopping AA meetings is really your alkie mind setting you up for relapse. Also it can be difficult when people tell you that you will relapse if you stop attending meetings regularly. It is a very personal journey, my recovery has been anyway, and I have found that as long as I never close the door on options to potentially use in my recovery then that is all good. The great thing about recovery is like Dee says, the door never shuts from the various support groups/programs etcect.
As long as my motives are pure and for no other reason than my sobriety then I have found that to be OK.
peace
As long as my motives are pure and for no other reason than my sobriety then I have found that to be OK.
peace
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