It's been some time...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 37
It's been some time...
As I sit here and type, I look and see my last visit to this site was 12-18-2005
I have been in and out of AA two times since then. I woke up this morning, looked in the mirror, and hated what I was looking at.
I love going to meetings and often drive by my local meeting when I'm drunk and wish I was there. Both times in AA I stopped going to meetings because of anxiety of having to ask for a sponsor and the fear of rejection, and thinking I was doing the steps wrong.
As I start this day toward recovery, hopefully I can keep the bad things that alcohol and gambling has done to my life close in my thoughts to help me. In the past two years I have lost my home, my car, and family and friends trust. It is amazing how we the alcoholic can let a liquid ruin our lives.
Today I have surrendered to alcohol and gambling.
Good sober day all!
I have been in and out of AA two times since then. I woke up this morning, looked in the mirror, and hated what I was looking at.
I love going to meetings and often drive by my local meeting when I'm drunk and wish I was there. Both times in AA I stopped going to meetings because of anxiety of having to ask for a sponsor and the fear of rejection, and thinking I was doing the steps wrong.
As I start this day toward recovery, hopefully I can keep the bad things that alcohol and gambling has done to my life close in my thoughts to help me. In the past two years I have lost my home, my car, and family and friends trust. It is amazing how we the alcoholic can let a liquid ruin our lives.
Today I have surrendered to alcohol and gambling.
Good sober day all!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Welcome Back Nytecomm! I'm sure you know you'll get a lot of support here. Good for you reaching out and putting a stop to the turmoil in your life. Tell yourself when you look in the mirror "Today is a new day" and smile!
Best Wishes To You!
Best Wishes To You!
I too hope you can find a way that works for you to stay sober. Living sober is so worth the effort!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 274
Welcome back Nytecommm, looks like your at that point where I was at one time, where you want to be sober more than you want to drink. It’s hard and it sucks but recovery is sooo worth it. I’m so glad your going back to AA for me I wasn’t able to solve this problem myself, put all your heart and soul and energy into your recovery and over time it get’s better and better.
There lots of support her and good information, keep reading and posting! and again Welcome Back!
Road
There lots of support her and good information, keep reading and posting! and again Welcome Back!
Road
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
nyte,
Welcome back. I worried about "doing stuff wrong" when I was new to AA, too, but I've come to realize even all those people who look like they know what they are doing in the program went through the same kind of anxiety when they were new.
When you go back into your meeting, I suggest you raise your hand, say you've tried this before, but you never really got what you were supposed to be doing, and that you need a sponsor to help you. I can almost guarantee you will have a sponsor before you leave the meeting.
Welcome back. I worried about "doing stuff wrong" when I was new to AA, too, but I've come to realize even all those people who look like they know what they are doing in the program went through the same kind of anxiety when they were new.
When you go back into your meeting, I suggest you raise your hand, say you've tried this before, but you never really got what you were supposed to be doing, and that you need a sponsor to help you. I can almost guarantee you will have a sponsor before you leave the meeting.
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