BrokenOne

my husband recently got off of parole. He did 21?2 yrs for pos of cocaine. We were split up when this had happened. I left after being together for 8 yrs. We started talking while he was in prison which I initiated. We decided to work things out. After 4 yrs of seperation. He moved in with his mom to do his parole which is about 3 hrs from me. We have spent time together and it had all been great until he had to go back to our home state to take care of legal stuff. He did a yr in a rehab facility during his incarceration. He had changed so much. Then while in our home state which is 500 miles from me..he said he got drunk then went to the projects and got crack. He lied about most of the story I found out. He told me today he was leaving there to go back to his moms house but no one has heard from him. Just like when he was getting high he said he left his phone under the hood of the truck. I am soo hurt and the stress has made me physically ill. I want to stick by him this time but I don't know how to handle this or what to do. i do know I cant fix anything. I know it is not my fault. And I know he loves me. I know he has an addiction and relapses can happen. I just dont know what to do. i have cried I have prayed. i know him very well..I know when he is doing something. I need help I cant lose him to this again...

ericshan07

Be strong girl. It sounds like you already are, but you need to be even stronger. Obviously you love your husband very much. And hopefully he loves you just as much. Addiction is an S.O.B. No matter what the addiction is. I don't know your exact situation or what kind of person your husband is. So you can take my advice or not. I don't want you to get hurt. If it was me, I would put my foot down and ask him.....Do you love me, or do you love the drugs and alcohol? Cause it's one or the other. It can't be both. Hopefully he chooses you. And if he does, demand more treatment. You can go with him. That may help. If he doesn't choose you, you have to be firm and let him go. At this point your life is first. Think about yours and your children's ( if you have them ) future. I wish you luck.

LaFemme

I am so sorry you are going through this. There is no easy way to say this but you can't save him...only hee can save himself. I grew up in an addictive family and I have friends in similar positions to yours. You need to put yourself and your life first. Do not let him drag you with him.

Please consider alanon or therapy for yourself.

Sending positive thoughts and prayers for you...LaFemme.

least

Welcome to SR. Please do check out our Friends and Families forums for f and f of alcoholics/addicts. Lot of support there from people in similar situations.


http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ly-alcoholics/


http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tance-abusers/

Anna

I am so sorry that you are going through this.

I am sending prayers of peace to you and your husband.

Kmber2010

Sorry to hear you are going through this difficult time. Addiction affects not only the user the but the family and loved ones.

I wish you strength and I think getting some form of support for yourself is the best thing you can do.

Glad you are with us and you have our support at SR.

BrokenOne

Thank you all so much..I have been through this with him before but I left..he has a wonderful heart but unfortunately demands don't work I have tried that..now I don't even know where he is so I can't talk to him..honestly I do not expect to see him again. He hides when he does it..sometimes for a long time because he knows he is hurting people. I know I cannot change or fix him. What really sucks is that he was 500 miles away the last time I talked to him. I can't go look for him and I probably wouldn't find him anyway..I hate not knowing all I can do is live life and have patience..but I won't wait forever and about the time I move on he will show up at my doorstep or he will end up in prison again. I am not strong enough i know that..maybe tomorrow morning I will be able to hold down the coffee I drink in the morning..today is better..one day at a time right..thanks to all for the support!!!