Day 81
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 7
Day 81
A little doubt yesterday (day 80) as my anger seemed to creep up from behind and grab me by the throat. I fear these situations early in recovery as they say "anger and resentments are the number one offenders".
I had a spat with a driver holding up two lanes of traffic at a street light. When he noticed me looking at him, he rolled up closer to my right, rolled his window down and honked his horn. I rolled my window down and rather than saying "No buddy, theres no problems", I spoke before I thought.
I told him he could either shut is f'n window or get out of the car.
This is a reaction I was not expecting. I feel like everything has been going as right and rain (as right as 81 days of sobriety can be), but I felt like this was a set back, and maybe Im not following the spirtual guidelines.
I got to a meeting and ratted myself out, and I heard some good things. However, as much as i try to kick it, the anger seems intent on bouncing around a bit longer.
Any suggestions or experience anyone could share would be greatly appreciated!
God speed and god bless!
I had a spat with a driver holding up two lanes of traffic at a street light. When he noticed me looking at him, he rolled up closer to my right, rolled his window down and honked his horn. I rolled my window down and rather than saying "No buddy, theres no problems", I spoke before I thought.
I told him he could either shut is f'n window or get out of the car.
This is a reaction I was not expecting. I feel like everything has been going as right and rain (as right as 81 days of sobriety can be), but I felt like this was a set back, and maybe Im not following the spirtual guidelines.
I got to a meeting and ratted myself out, and I heard some good things. However, as much as i try to kick it, the anger seems intent on bouncing around a bit longer.
Any suggestions or experience anyone could share would be greatly appreciated!
God speed and god bless!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 395
You need to let it go and move onto something more positive. There is no need to have a road rage spat consume you all day. It is just a waste to be consumed over something so minute.
I had trouble with anger (still do at times), especially self-righteous anger. It never made me do anything too dumb, but I found that anger can be very addicting. If I keep fueling my anger, I could be angry for hours, the whole day, or even a couple of days. I also have fueled a little, pathetic resentments for days too.
For instance, I had to talk to the FBI the other day about going over seas to teach (I have an old DUI which might prevent that). The guy was just a dick. In the past, I would turn that into self-righteous and let it consume me for the whole day. I let it go, focused on my day, and enjoyed it.
Personally, I had some difficulty with letting little things like that go. I had to work on letting go. It wasn't in an easy process for me. However, I am glad that I put the time and effort into it. Today, I don't let little irritating things blow up to astronomical levels.
The solution to your problem is simple. Just drop your anger and focus on something positive. Now, it might be simple, but it may not necessarily be easy. It wasn't easy for me to make those behavioral and mental modifications. However, if I could make those changes, then so can you.
BTW, I like your name. I am now listening to the Rolling Stones and well....their version of Prodigal Son.
I had trouble with anger (still do at times), especially self-righteous anger. It never made me do anything too dumb, but I found that anger can be very addicting. If I keep fueling my anger, I could be angry for hours, the whole day, or even a couple of days. I also have fueled a little, pathetic resentments for days too.
For instance, I had to talk to the FBI the other day about going over seas to teach (I have an old DUI which might prevent that). The guy was just a dick. In the past, I would turn that into self-righteous and let it consume me for the whole day. I let it go, focused on my day, and enjoyed it.
Personally, I had some difficulty with letting little things like that go. I had to work on letting go. It wasn't in an easy process for me. However, I am glad that I put the time and effort into it. Today, I don't let little irritating things blow up to astronomical levels.
The solution to your problem is simple. Just drop your anger and focus on something positive. Now, it might be simple, but it may not necessarily be easy. It wasn't easy for me to make those behavioral and mental modifications. However, if I could make those changes, then so can you.
BTW, I like your name. I am now listening to the Rolling Stones and well....their version of Prodigal Son.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 80
I'm still early in (21 days) but share your tendancy for being, how shall we say, a firey one!
Having an aggressive backbone, when positively channeled, can be a wonderful gift. I've found that my best coping mechanism for preventing being edgy is wearing myself out with regular exercise.
It's pretty hard for me to get pissy when endorphins are flowing through the veins, my skin is radiant, I have a wonderful sense of accomplishment from a killer workout, I know I'm looking better everytime and I'm too tired to do much else besides just smile.
Another important part for me in this process has been consciously working on my personal growth when it comes to other people (and by that I mean strangers in public who get to me when being terribly inconsiderate - my biggest pet peeve!) Though I'm still working on it, I really like the concept of striving for positive interactions with others where I make things better not worse with each. Know, with some added presence of mind, I force myself to think if what I'm thinking to do will be worth it in terms of outcome. What will I gain by doing x, what will I lose? I'm also starting to realize that some people are completely clueless when it comes to things that have set me off in the past.
I couldn't help but think about reading the road rage scenario ~ how would you feel if you likened the situation to the other guy's holding up a mirror to your actions like he purposely instigated you to gague your response. Would you have responded differently if you could see yourself about to act the way you did as it unfolded?
One thing that's useful to remember is something that my boyfriend's dad always taught him after years of suffering through attempts at anger suppression (and I imagine a hard knock or two) - never engage someone in battle who has less to lose than you do. (Taken from Baltasar's "The Art of Worldly Wisdom")
Congrats on your time and be well,
~LL
Having an aggressive backbone, when positively channeled, can be a wonderful gift. I've found that my best coping mechanism for preventing being edgy is wearing myself out with regular exercise.
It's pretty hard for me to get pissy when endorphins are flowing through the veins, my skin is radiant, I have a wonderful sense of accomplishment from a killer workout, I know I'm looking better everytime and I'm too tired to do much else besides just smile.
Another important part for me in this process has been consciously working on my personal growth when it comes to other people (and by that I mean strangers in public who get to me when being terribly inconsiderate - my biggest pet peeve!) Though I'm still working on it, I really like the concept of striving for positive interactions with others where I make things better not worse with each. Know, with some added presence of mind, I force myself to think if what I'm thinking to do will be worth it in terms of outcome. What will I gain by doing x, what will I lose? I'm also starting to realize that some people are completely clueless when it comes to things that have set me off in the past.
I couldn't help but think about reading the road rage scenario ~ how would you feel if you likened the situation to the other guy's holding up a mirror to your actions like he purposely instigated you to gague your response. Would you have responded differently if you could see yourself about to act the way you did as it unfolded?
One thing that's useful to remember is something that my boyfriend's dad always taught him after years of suffering through attempts at anger suppression (and I imagine a hard knock or two) - never engage someone in battle who has less to lose than you do. (Taken from Baltasar's "The Art of Worldly Wisdom")
Congrats on your time and be well,
~LL
Being Me for the first time
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Wishek, North Dakota
Posts: 1,160
hey Prod congrats on day 81 thats supperlish .. well dont let stupid people get under your finger nails ,,, there unhappy in there day and just wanna take it out on another , its just a typical thing , Im sure the guy felt like a heel when he thought bout it , either way .. its outta our control .. as a good sr friend once said to me and if nuttin else it made me laught when I come in contact with a situation like yours .. just think " I cant control stupid people " hey it works for me .. 
hope you have a good day prod .. huggles
hope you have a good day prod .. huggles
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