stella27

I had supper last night with friends and their kids. My youngest turned 3. I did not invite his dad or paternal grandparents as all have been dealing hard with me in the divorce negotiations and I didn't want to be around them.

One well-meaning friend said she had seen my (stb)xah and he had seemed so pitiful and lonely.

I held it together during dinner, but lost it on the way home. He left us. He chose alcohol over us. He treated me horribly and while he wants to pretend to be superdad, his actions and irresponsibility go a lot further than pizza and fun on the weekends can make up for.

Why is this still bothering me so much?

dollydo

Could be that you are still grieving. Don't be too hard on yourself, it will take time.

Jadmack25

Stella, you are still raw from him choosing as he did, and divorce hassles don't heal the healing at all. When someone scrapes the sore by mentioning him, no matter how innocently, it can take the scab off and leave you bleeding again. Be prepared for more in future and to feel upset for a while yet, as this doesn't go away quickly, but it WILL go away eventually.

I suggest you let someone know, immediately stbx is mentioned, that you do not wish to hear about him. The less you hear the quicker that sore heals.

God bless