Big Book Study-------How It Works
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Join Date: Jul 2010
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Big Book Study-------How It Works
Until Aehmnm is up to getting back to Big Book Study I'll stand in for her. Hope no one minds.
So please share on the start of Chapter 5 "How It Works" up to where Step 4 begins on page 64.
Thank you all for sharing, much appreciated.
Harry
It is "How It Works" and not how it woks.
So please share on the start of Chapter 5 "How It Works" up to where Step 4 begins on page 64.
Thank you all for sharing, much appreciated.
Harry
It is "How It Works" and not how it woks.
Last edited by CarolD; 09-21-2010 at 03:18 PM. Reason: typo
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Posts: 345
“Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average.”
And there was a point early in my sobriety I thought I was one of those unfortunates that were incapable of rigorous honesty.
“If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it -- then you are ready to take certain steps.”
And after going to the Step Study meeting for about 3 months I had made the decision that I would go to any lengths and willing to take the 12 Steps.
“Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventure before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought.”
So I looked up the word “pertinent” in the dictionary, “Pertinent; pertaining or relating directly and significantly to the matter at hand; relevant:” And I didn’t have any problems agreeing that the 3 ideas related directly to the matter at hand, my alcoholism.
And my sponsor reminded me that this is only a decision and it is a willingness to turn my will and my life over to a Power that is greater than I. And with an understanding that I know that I am not that Power and I can’t be if that Power is bigger than me or any other human. And my sponsor asked me this question. “Whose hands do feel more comfortable trusting your life in, yours or God’s?” I have already seen what I did with my life thinking I had good control over it. It certainly is God’s hands I trust more than mine or any other humans.
Being selfish and having an ego larger than my body itself, was the root of my troubles. And I came to the conclusion that my troubles were of my own making, when I took a clear look at myself and the person I was and had become. My life was miserable and I was hopeless.
My sponsor asked me if I was clear about the decision and if I was sure about making such a decision? My answer to him was, yes, I realize that I am making a decision that my life is well cared for by turning it over to God and I was ready. I did at last abandon myself over to God.
We proceeded to get on our knees and held each other’s hands as we prayed.
"God, I offer myself to Thee -- to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!"
This to me was the most important Step for me to take. I realize that all the Steps are important and necessary for me to live a better life as a better person. But in this one particular Step, I knew that with God’s help I could go forward and face my greatest fears and that I would be alright.
God be with us and guide us through our journey on this path of a new way of living.
Harry
And there was a point early in my sobriety I thought I was one of those unfortunates that were incapable of rigorous honesty.
“If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it -- then you are ready to take certain steps.”
And after going to the Step Study meeting for about 3 months I had made the decision that I would go to any lengths and willing to take the 12 Steps.
“Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventure before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought.”
So I looked up the word “pertinent” in the dictionary, “Pertinent; pertaining or relating directly and significantly to the matter at hand; relevant:” And I didn’t have any problems agreeing that the 3 ideas related directly to the matter at hand, my alcoholism.
And my sponsor reminded me that this is only a decision and it is a willingness to turn my will and my life over to a Power that is greater than I. And with an understanding that I know that I am not that Power and I can’t be if that Power is bigger than me or any other human. And my sponsor asked me this question. “Whose hands do feel more comfortable trusting your life in, yours or God’s?” I have already seen what I did with my life thinking I had good control over it. It certainly is God’s hands I trust more than mine or any other humans.
Being selfish and having an ego larger than my body itself, was the root of my troubles. And I came to the conclusion that my troubles were of my own making, when I took a clear look at myself and the person I was and had become. My life was miserable and I was hopeless.
My sponsor asked me if I was clear about the decision and if I was sure about making such a decision? My answer to him was, yes, I realize that I am making a decision that my life is well cared for by turning it over to God and I was ready. I did at last abandon myself over to God.
We proceeded to get on our knees and held each other’s hands as we prayed.
"God, I offer myself to Thee -- to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!"
This to me was the most important Step for me to take. I realize that all the Steps are important and necessary for me to live a better life as a better person. But in this one particular Step, I knew that with God’s help I could go forward and face my greatest fears and that I would be alright.
God be with us and guide us through our journey on this path of a new way of living.
Harry
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Rarely have we see person fail who has thoroughly followed our directions. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a way of life which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it -then you are ready to follow directions.
At some of these you may balk. You may think you can find an easier, softer way. We doubt if you can. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.
Remember that you are dealing with alcohol - cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for you. But there is One who has all power - That One is God. You must find Him now!
Half measures will avail you nothing. You stand at the turning point. Throw yourself under His protection and care with complete abandon.
Now we think you can take it! Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as your Program of Recovery:
(from the Multilith edition of Alcoholics Anonymous)
Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it -then you are ready to follow directions.
At some of these you may balk. You may think you can find an easier, softer way. We doubt if you can. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.
Remember that you are dealing with alcohol - cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for you. But there is One who has all power - That One is God. You must find Him now!
Half measures will avail you nothing. You stand at the turning point. Throw yourself under His protection and care with complete abandon.
Now we think you can take it! Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as your Program of Recovery:
(from the Multilith edition of Alcoholics Anonymous)
Reach Out and Touch Faith
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
Good topic for a study. This has been coming up so much in my meetings the last two weeks. We had one that centered around the 3rd step prayer and several others where we shared about the importance of "Willingness" in the actual step and in our AA recovery in general.
The importance to me is that once I am willing, the rest will follow into place. Also, for me the key to the third step is the word "decide". I don't have to be scared of turning my will and my life over to my HP. I don't have to be ready to actually have to be perfect in how I turn it over, I just have to decide to turn it over. There is a big difference. Once I made that decision, the rest fell into place.
The importance to me is that once I am willing, the rest will follow into place. Also, for me the key to the third step is the word "decide". I don't have to be scared of turning my will and my life over to my HP. I don't have to be ready to actually have to be perfect in how I turn it over, I just have to decide to turn it over. There is a big difference. Once I made that decision, the rest fell into place.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: AA Rooms
Posts: 268
This is me! lol
Well, yes I was gracious etc.....wondering why Utopia was not happening. I really know after reading this chapter that the program is definitely the way to go. I have to get rid of my self-will but not sure how to go about it. Maybe it's really time to get a sponsor. Seeing my alcohol counsellor tomorrow: she told me to hold off getting one for a while so I will bring this up at the session tomorrow.
Thanks,
Annette
Thanks,
Annette
Last edited by CarolD; 09-28-2010 at 05:56 PM. Reason: Wasn't finished typing lol......damn laptops lol.
Soberliner
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: KC,MO
Posts: 73
new guy 4-life?
Stepping into the light for me is like traveling in outer space without a light to guild me. I know that light is out there in space. With every step with being honest with myself how will i know when i find that light? One of these days i'll trust in GOD. Trust that he will carry my baggage for me when its to heavy for me to carry. Even for a day so that i can focus on being happy. Im ready to find an AA group and hopefully get comfortable enough to share. 
And get involved with service to others.
And get involved with service to others.
Last edited by Soberliner; 09-27-2010 at 06:19 PM. Reason: adding to reply.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: AA Rooms
Posts: 268
The reasons to hold off getting a sponsor
Well Lexie, heregoes .......
I asked her in the last five minutes of the session why I should hold off. She said all too often in AA sponsors, particularly those that volunteer, have no real benefits to offer, they impatiently demand their sponsees to work the steps to their "dictates" and they have no real helpful insights to offer. She said to me it's only six weeks since my last drink and she can see the drink leaving my system, she said don't rush, shop around, talk a lot first. Get a woman who has a lot of sobriety, who has few sponsees and is carrying the message; someone who will ring when they say they're going to ring, someone who will be there. Someone you won't want to pull back from and someone that won't pull back from me and jeopardise my sobriety.
Oh and I also said AA in the states is very different to AA here, she agreed. She said I should consider doing secretary as I'm an organiser, as I tend to be quite stand-offish, which is my defence mechanism and that it might help me on the road to sharing which I haven't done, only twice and extremely briefly. I tend to run lately after a meeting lol. Counterproductive I know. I tend to speak more openly here and sometimes the intent and intonation is lost I think, .... I hope lol.
So, yeah how it works, the description of the alkie in that really summed me up, even down to bemoaning the state of the nation or whatever the precise comment was. Really me lol! Have completed step 3, mulling over step 4 for quite some time now, my counsellor thinks I've really thrown myself into that self-appraisal in a big way. Most days are good but you know how life's problems can be very challenging, not just everyday stuff but quite serious stuff which is what my counsellor said to me; I have three tough days ahead but I'm handing it over and trying to practice gratitude and acceptance for whatever may or may not happen.
Annette
I asked her in the last five minutes of the session why I should hold off. She said all too often in AA sponsors, particularly those that volunteer, have no real benefits to offer, they impatiently demand their sponsees to work the steps to their "dictates" and they have no real helpful insights to offer. She said to me it's only six weeks since my last drink and she can see the drink leaving my system, she said don't rush, shop around, talk a lot first. Get a woman who has a lot of sobriety, who has few sponsees and is carrying the message; someone who will ring when they say they're going to ring, someone who will be there. Someone you won't want to pull back from and someone that won't pull back from me and jeopardise my sobriety.
Oh and I also said AA in the states is very different to AA here, she agreed. She said I should consider doing secretary as I'm an organiser, as I tend to be quite stand-offish, which is my defence mechanism and that it might help me on the road to sharing which I haven't done, only twice and extremely briefly. I tend to run lately after a meeting lol. Counterproductive I know. I tend to speak more openly here and sometimes the intent and intonation is lost I think, .... I hope lol.
So, yeah how it works, the description of the alkie in that really summed me up, even down to bemoaning the state of the nation or whatever the precise comment was. Really me lol! Have completed step 3, mulling over step 4 for quite some time now, my counsellor thinks I've really thrown myself into that self-appraisal in a big way. Most days are good but you know how life's problems can be very challenging, not just everyday stuff but quite serious stuff which is what my counsellor said to me; I have three tough days ahead but I'm handing it over and trying to practice gratitude and acceptance for whatever may or may not happen.
Annette
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: AA Rooms
Posts: 268
Back to how it works.
Er, yeah *I* should have pm'ed my response but don't feel comfortable pm'ing folk that i've barely spoken too but feel grand replying. Sorry for talking about my stuff......just sharing......jeez this is difficult sometimes!
How it works.......step 4.......
How it works.......step 4.......
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by Awayfromit 
How it works.......step 4.......
Originally Posted by AA BB 1st
Being convinced, we were at Step Three, which is that we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as we understood Him. Just what do we mean by that, and just what do we do?
The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good.
The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good.
My natural reaction, when I couldn't seem to get what my fear-driven ego thought it needed, was to squeeze the problem even harder. I'll just apply more effort, more work, more control. And still it never seemed to be enough.
Originally Posted by aa BB 1st
Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well? Is he not, even in his best moments, a producer of confusion rather than harmony?
How's that working for me?
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Keith quoted it but I'm going to re-quote it. (I still wonder why Bill didn't italicize this part)
.
My life DID have successes, I wasn't a total failure running on self will. I had failures for sure, but so does everyone, right? All that thinking made that line tough to swallow. Then we hit the story about the director, the actors, and the failed attempts at control.... the using of intimidation to try to get our way and if that didn't work we'd switch gears and try to manipulate with false kindness, generosity, and self-sacrifice - which I saw that I did all of the above. I was especially adept at getting to know just what tool to use on "you" to get you to want to do what I wanted you to do. All the while I thought I was brilliantly applying what I'd learned in Dale Carnegie's book.
When the show STILL didn't come off as planned....I'd reapply myself. I'd summon all that "you're a Citadel man" machismo I could muster and reapply myself like never before......sometimes that'd work but when it didn't.....omg...the a$$-licking machine fired up and I'd beat myself down like nobody's business. Heck, even when it DID come off as I wanted it to....I'd still feel guilty that I just played everyone and, just as bad, I knew I wasn't being true to myself....I was just playing roles to get my way. I started to lose touch with who I really was (am).
From the next sentence begins some of the coolest promises in the book:
1 He provides everything we NEED
2 we became less interested in ourselves...became more interested in seeing what we could contribute to life
3 we enjoyed peace of mind....could face life successfully
4 we became conscious of His presence.....
5 began to lose fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter
6 we were reborn
I dunno about you guys..... but a life like that ^^^^^ sure sounds better than the life I had in my addiction. Heck, I didn't have ANY of those things and I pretty much NEVER thought those thoughts.
Hmmmm, maybe I wasn't such a good manager after-all. Maybe I wasn't so good at playing God...even though I thought I was (sometimes). Heck, just the "lose fear of tomorrow" part was enough to HOOK the hell outta me.... "freedom from fear???" that's POSSIBLE????
Well.....if it's possible.........HELL YEAH I'LL make a decision to do this stuff. If you're telling me (and they told me.....to my face.......over and over and over) this stuff IS possible - likely, even - then helllllll yeah I'll do this deal. Quit drinking, do steps.....what EVER.....I'll turn my life and will over to the care of Mickey Mouse if that'll work - freedom from fear huh...man, I'm IN!!!
The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success
My life DID have successes, I wasn't a total failure running on self will. I had failures for sure, but so does everyone, right? All that thinking made that line tough to swallow. Then we hit the story about the director, the actors, and the failed attempts at control.... the using of intimidation to try to get our way and if that didn't work we'd switch gears and try to manipulate with false kindness, generosity, and self-sacrifice - which I saw that I did all of the above. I was especially adept at getting to know just what tool to use on "you" to get you to want to do what I wanted you to do. All the while I thought I was brilliantly applying what I'd learned in Dale Carnegie's book.
When the show STILL didn't come off as planned....I'd reapply myself. I'd summon all that "you're a Citadel man" machismo I could muster and reapply myself like never before......sometimes that'd work but when it didn't.....omg...the a$$-licking machine fired up and I'd beat myself down like nobody's business. Heck, even when it DID come off as I wanted it to....I'd still feel guilty that I just played everyone and, just as bad, I knew I wasn't being true to myself....I was just playing roles to get my way. I started to lose touch with who I really was (am).
This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work. ...... God was going to be our Director...we are His agents.... (<---) this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom....we had a new employer (I'm no longer self-employed 
)
)
1 He provides everything we NEED
2 we became less interested in ourselves...became more interested in seeing what we could contribute to life
3 we enjoyed peace of mind....could face life successfully
4 we became conscious of His presence.....
5 began to lose fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter
6 we were reborn
I dunno about you guys..... but a life like that ^^^^^ sure sounds better than the life I had in my addiction. Heck, I didn't have ANY of those things and I pretty much NEVER thought those thoughts.
Hmmmm, maybe I wasn't such a good manager after-all. Maybe I wasn't so good at playing God...even though I thought I was (sometimes). Heck, just the "lose fear of tomorrow" part was enough to HOOK the hell outta me.... "freedom from fear???" that's POSSIBLE????
Well.....if it's possible.........HELL YEAH I'LL make a decision to do this stuff. If you're telling me (and they told me.....to my face.......over and over and over) this stuff IS possible - likely, even - then helllllll yeah I'll do this deal. Quit drinking, do steps.....what EVER.....I'll turn my life and will over to the care of Mickey Mouse if that'll work - freedom from fear huh...man, I'm IN!!!
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,903
thank you Harry for your service
well,my sponsor put some requirements on me before I could take step 3 and go to step 4
the first requirement as Keith and the Big Book stated above,was I had to be convinced any life run on self would hardly be a success.A requirement isn`t optional.It is a requirement according to my sponsor.
I wasn`t convinced so he sent me home to think it over.
I did and several days later I saw something that convinced me
I called him and we got together and got back into the book
he asked me if
(a) That I was an alcoholic and could not manage my own live sober today? yes I said
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved my alcoholism today,yes I said
(c) That God could and would if I seek him today.”yes I said
good he said,you are now in the business of trusting and relying on God
ok,he sent me home again and told me to call him when I was ready to go to work for God.....period...either i would be or not....what was my descision
I thought about it and called him in a couple of days
yes i said
good he said meet me at my house Thursday night and you can do your 3rd step
we got together and went over a small item or two,and got on our knees before a big candle and he grabbed my right hand and I had the big book in my left and he said,
God has one hand Tommy and I have the other
take your time and when you are ready......
it wasn`t a reading from a book,it was a heartfelt surrender
a surrender,no bs or fly past it like I meant nothing,it is supposed to mean something in my opinion
when I was done,he helped me up cause I have stiff knees and he read a few things from the big book
we then launched out on step 4
well,my sponsor put some requirements on me before I could take step 3 and go to step 4
the first requirement as Keith and the Big Book stated above,was I had to be convinced any life run on self would hardly be a success.A requirement isn`t optional.It is a requirement according to my sponsor.
I wasn`t convinced so he sent me home to think it over.
I did and several days later I saw something that convinced me
I called him and we got together and got back into the book
he asked me if
(a) That I was an alcoholic and could not manage my own live sober today? yes I said
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved my alcoholism today,yes I said
(c) That God could and would if I seek him today.”yes I said
good he said,you are now in the business of trusting and relying on God
ok,he sent me home again and told me to call him when I was ready to go to work for God.....period...either i would be or not....what was my descision
I thought about it and called him in a couple of days
yes i said
good he said meet me at my house Thursday night and you can do your 3rd step
we got together and went over a small item or two,and got on our knees before a big candle and he grabbed my right hand and I had the big book in my left and he said,
God has one hand Tommy and I have the other
take your time and when you are ready......
it wasn`t a reading from a book,it was a heartfelt surrender
a surrender,no bs or fly past it like I meant nothing,it is supposed to mean something in my opinion
when I was done,he helped me up cause I have stiff knees and he read a few things from the big book
we then launched out on step 4
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,903
I would like to add that during the process of the 12 steps,especially the first 7,my sponsor reminded me weekly of what we was doing...we was building a arch thru which we would pass to freedom with God being the important keystone at the top of the arch
my sponsor kept talking about the text below also during this time
1st edition bb
This is the how and the why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most Good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.
When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new Employer. Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. Established on such a footing we became less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life [ not just staying sober,but life sober] successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter.
he told me when I stepped thru the arch in step 7,it would mean a lot more than if I took this step lightly
my sponsor kept talking about the text below also during this time
1st edition bb
This is the how and the why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most Good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.
When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new Employer. Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. Established on such a footing we became less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life [ not just staying sober,but life sober] successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter.
he told me when I stepped thru the arch in step 7,it would mean a lot more than if I took this step lightly
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