First AA Meeting
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 184
First AA Meeting
Hello, All.
The more I read threads on this forum, the more I recognize myself, and the more I realize that I need to get to a meeting if I have ANY hope of recovering from this alcohol-filled life.
I do NOT want to go.
I am petrified I am going to see somebody I work with or know.
How did you guys overcome this? I've never been to a meeting as the person "needing" the meeting. I have attended many as the significant other.
Scared to death but know I have to take this step.
For the first time in my life, I realize that my problems (which have been significant) are not causing me to drink..... but that maybe, just maybe, drinking has been the cause of my problems.
Thoughts?
Ideas?
Still worrying about detox, too. I am beginning to recognize that what I am feeling is, in fact, detoxing.... and that scares the crap out of me. I don't feel "normal," anymore, without a few drinks under my belt.
The more I read threads on this forum, the more I recognize myself, and the more I realize that I need to get to a meeting if I have ANY hope of recovering from this alcohol-filled life.
I do NOT want to go.
I am petrified I am going to see somebody I work with or know.
How did you guys overcome this? I've never been to a meeting as the person "needing" the meeting. I have attended many as the significant other.
Scared to death but know I have to take this step.
For the first time in my life, I realize that my problems (which have been significant) are not causing me to drink..... but that maybe, just maybe, drinking has been the cause of my problems.
Thoughts?
Ideas?
Still worrying about detox, too. I am beginning to recognize that what I am feeling is, in fact, detoxing.... and that scares the crap out of me. I don't feel "normal," anymore, without a few drinks under my belt.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
ARB,
You've been to meetings as a support person, but maybe a refresher would help: Your First AA Meeting..
It was a totally different feeling walking in and admitting out loud that I, too, am an alcoholic. Even though we know intellectually there is no "shame" in it, we still feel that way. I did, anyway.
The sooner you push through your fear and walk in the door, the better you will start to feel. As you know, I was very slow to work the steps. It took me two years. I stayed sober, but I also stayed "stuck" in my life. I want more than simply to stop drinking. That's what the steps are there for.
If you are anything like me, familiarity with AA will make you feel more at home, sooner, than someone who has never been to a meeting. You won't be thrown by references to God/Higher Power, you will know the basic format. In my case, I think the familiarity helped in some respects, but I also know now that I thought I knew more than I did. Tackling one's own alcoholism is different from just being there to support someone else.
It was awhile before I ran into someone I knew in the rooms, but it happens to most of us eventually. Remember we are all there for the same reason.
Just do it, as they say in the Nike commercial. Look up the meeting schedule and walk in and get a cup of coffee and sit down. Raise your hand when they ask who is new to AA. Get some phone numbers.
You can make this a mountain, but it doesn't have to be that way.
You've been to meetings as a support person, but maybe a refresher would help: Your First AA Meeting..
It was a totally different feeling walking in and admitting out loud that I, too, am an alcoholic. Even though we know intellectually there is no "shame" in it, we still feel that way. I did, anyway.
The sooner you push through your fear and walk in the door, the better you will start to feel. As you know, I was very slow to work the steps. It took me two years. I stayed sober, but I also stayed "stuck" in my life. I want more than simply to stop drinking. That's what the steps are there for.
If you are anything like me, familiarity with AA will make you feel more at home, sooner, than someone who has never been to a meeting. You won't be thrown by references to God/Higher Power, you will know the basic format. In my case, I think the familiarity helped in some respects, but I also know now that I thought I knew more than I did. Tackling one's own alcoholism is different from just being there to support someone else.
It was awhile before I ran into someone I knew in the rooms, but it happens to most of us eventually. Remember we are all there for the same reason.
Just do it, as they say in the Nike commercial. Look up the meeting schedule and walk in and get a cup of coffee and sit down. Raise your hand when they ask who is new to AA. Get some phone numbers.
You can make this a mountain, but it doesn't have to be that way.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lowell
Posts: 345
If you do see somebody there that you know, I would imagine he or she is there for the same reason, looking for help. Matter of fact, it would probably be more beneficial for you, always helps to have someone else to travel the same path that you are more acquainted with.
I remember coming back this time, my third, I was afraid that somebody would recognize me from 10 years earlier. Guess what, there were a couple who did which was more helpful for me. To my best advantage.
Good luck and God bless.
Harry
I remember coming back this time, my third, I was afraid that somebody would recognize me from 10 years earlier. Guess what, there were a couple who did which was more helpful for me. To my best advantage.
Good luck and God bless.
Harry
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
I was sooooo scared of going to AA! In fact i was absolutely paralysed with fear...if you read some of my earlier posts from early last year you will see "blah blah blah and yes i know i should be going to AA and will"...but it took another bought of drinking to get me into AA...and that included a visit to rehab...
When i went to a 12 step rehab to find out all about AA and "work the steps" someone posted that they would take half the 5000 that i was to spend on rehab and would let me stay at their house for 4 weeks and do the steps with them...at the time i dismissed it as a silly post but they were right!!!!
I always knew that there was something in AA in hindsight, and this, i believe, did feature in me not going for so long...when i finally decided to go i went with the express purpose of getting well, i had found out the following:
1. I needed a sponsor who was tried and tested in the steps of AA and had a decent sobriety
2. That i needed to work the steps of AA honestly and to the best of my ability
3. As a result of working the steps of AA i was to have a spiritual awakening (drastic personality change) enough to remove the obsession to drink and to be able to maintain a happy, joyous and free sobriety
I was willing to do all the above, i was at the end and had no choices left in my mind...i needed a miracle and i got one!
This is what i would have done with the benefit of hindsight to get in earlier and to oversome my fear...i would have rung one of the help numbers that AA has and arranged to meet someone outside of a meeting...maybe suggest that someone meets you at the doorway of the meeting and then go for a coffee with you round the corner or even just chat on the steps...at least i would have got there...also when they offer you their number, offer yours too and arrange to meet again...get a copy of the Big Book asap and start to read it so you can get an understanding of what AA is about also...
I promise once you go to a few meetings things will get better and eventually you will be ok to walk into a meeting anywhere in the world...good luck:-)
When i went to a 12 step rehab to find out all about AA and "work the steps" someone posted that they would take half the 5000 that i was to spend on rehab and would let me stay at their house for 4 weeks and do the steps with them...at the time i dismissed it as a silly post but they were right!!!!
I always knew that there was something in AA in hindsight, and this, i believe, did feature in me not going for so long...when i finally decided to go i went with the express purpose of getting well, i had found out the following:
1. I needed a sponsor who was tried and tested in the steps of AA and had a decent sobriety
2. That i needed to work the steps of AA honestly and to the best of my ability
3. As a result of working the steps of AA i was to have a spiritual awakening (drastic personality change) enough to remove the obsession to drink and to be able to maintain a happy, joyous and free sobriety
I was willing to do all the above, i was at the end and had no choices left in my mind...i needed a miracle and i got one!
This is what i would have done with the benefit of hindsight to get in earlier and to oversome my fear...i would have rung one of the help numbers that AA has and arranged to meet someone outside of a meeting...maybe suggest that someone meets you at the doorway of the meeting and then go for a coffee with you round the corner or even just chat on the steps...at least i would have got there...also when they offer you their number, offer yours too and arrange to meet again...get a copy of the Big Book asap and start to read it so you can get an understanding of what AA is about also...
I promise once you go to a few meetings things will get better and eventually you will be ok to walk into a meeting anywhere in the world...good luck:-)
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Originally Posted by WakeUp 
Look at it this way. ALL the people at an AA meeting are there for the same reason as you. They're not there for ingrown toenails.
Guess the Third Tradition says I should leave my shares about that at home.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by ARB
Still worrying about detox, too. I am beginning to recognize that what I am feeling is, in fact, detoxing.... and that scares the crap out of me. I don't feel "normal," anymore, without a few drinks under my belt.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Welcome ARB. I do not do AA but I will tell you that getting a program of support is key and admitting we have a problem is the first step.
I know that drinking caused my life to crumble but it was initially and subsequently used as a means of self-medication for problems in my life and for depression. Instead of seeking out professional help as I should have long ago....I found some relief by escaping into the void of alcohol. Over the course of 10 years it almost destroyed me.
You can do this and I am glad you posted. Keep sharing and know that sobriety is the most important thing and should be your focus.
I know that drinking caused my life to crumble but it was initially and subsequently used as a means of self-medication for problems in my life and for depression. Instead of seeking out professional help as I should have long ago....I found some relief by escaping into the void of alcohol. Over the course of 10 years it almost destroyed me.
You can do this and I am glad you posted. Keep sharing and know that sobriety is the most important thing and should be your focus.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Go - you will meet a true interesting mix of people. Some amazing people with amazing stories.
No-one has to know you go.
There is a woman who is a cashier in my local food shop who goes. When I pay at her till, we just smile at each, never ever say a word. There are unspoken words of understanding and friendship between us.
Just go, if you really, really, hate it you don't have to go again.
You do not have to disclose that you have been or sign up for anymore.
If i could go twice a day, I really really would.
xxxx
No-one has to know you go.
There is a woman who is a cashier in my local food shop who goes. When I pay at her till, we just smile at each, never ever say a word. There are unspoken words of understanding and friendship between us.
Just go, if you really, really, hate it you don't have to go again.
You do not have to disclose that you have been or sign up for anymore.
If i could go twice a day, I really really would.
xxxx
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
