punisher11485

hey everyone home for the weekend again lol it feels good to get away from the halfway house for a while. but it kinda sucked today, There is a girl that came to the house a little over a month ago and we got really close and she is a really good person. And she started hanging out with some other guy that goes to some of the same meetings we go to and he looked kinda shady. But anyway it came out today that they used together and im really pissed off. I know she made the decision to use but im just pissed that this guy would even attempt to bring the **** around her knowing she is in a halfway house trying to get her **** together. So i really wanna say something to him but i dont know if its the right thing to do. to tell you the truth i have a really big resentment against him right now. and i dont know what to do. Do you think i would be wrong if i told him how i felt ?

Anna

Hi,

My advice would be to let it go. Focus on yourself and your recovery and hopefully your friend will find her way to recovery.

Enjoy your weekend!

Antiderivative

The burden of responsibility lies upon your friend, not this shady guy.

Drugs and alcohol are everywhere in this society, but its up to the addict/alcoholic to be responsible for their own recovery.

You can be upset at this guy, but it would be me upset at the liquor store for offering flashy sale signs. He advertised to her and she went for it.

If anything, you should talk to her friend, not hold a resentment against this guy.

BP44

What made you think a shady guy would do anything other than something shady? More importantly, what makes you think he cares what you think? You do your work and you'll have your experience. Let you friend figure out how to put her big girl panties on. It's really none of your business.

LexieCat

Hey, dude,

Thanks for checking in with us. Sorry to hear about your friend. I think you SHOULD share about your resentment--only not with that guy. Share it with somebody at your house--do you have a counselor you work with?

The folks here are right--ultimately it was her responsibility to stay clean. The guy shouldn't have used with her, but he did, and you can't change that.

And once you've shared the resentment, work on letting it go. You don't want to compromise your own sobriety over it.

julez

I agree with everyone else. Whats the best thing that would come out of you telling this guy how you feel? Him saying "Oh yeah you're right....sorry." Who cares, whats done is done. And the worst is that this guy could lash out at you physically, and then there would really be trouble! Work through your feelings with someone else, and realize that there are things that you can't control and have to let go. Its really nice that you care about this girl enough that you want to defend her, but when alls said and done, right now you have to focus on yourself.

punisher11485

hey everyone thanks for the advice ! and yea you are all right. I know it is really her responsibility on what she does and i guess if that shady guy didn't give it to her, she would probably find it somewhere else if she really wanted to use. And i know he probably already feels bad about it now.And there is nothing i can do or say that will change anything now anyway. And for a positive affirmation... Today i will focus on my own recovery and try to brighten someones day. I just needed to get some advice because if i don't i will start to co-sign my ********. THANKS EVERYONE !!!

LexieCat

Thumbs UP! Good goin', kiddo!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend.