chicubs1

I've been in recovery for 7 1/2 months and had a reality check from an unlikely source and I honestly don't know how I feel about it. My best friend and the one person who has helped me through all of this (even more than my wife) is introducing me to an old friend of his later this week. Normally that wouldn't be a big deal since we've known each other for some time, but only really gotten close over the past few years. He basically told me that the reason he's finally introducing me to her was that he finally trusts me again after 7 months of rebuilding that trust. We've talked at length about all the ways I'd damaged our friendship and thought all the crap was behind us. But this is out of left field. I honestly don't know what to say to him since I didn't know he felt this way. I'm feeling the stress I felt when I first made amends and he said we're "all good". Not going to drink over this, but has anyone had someone you thought you'd made amends with reopen old wounds?

Dee74

Chi

I had a lot of people say to me we were 'all good' only to find out later we really weren't 'all good'...

I figure I really was a loose cannon when I was drinking.

Personally I don't blame people for taking time to redevelop trust in me. I did a lot of crazy hurtful stuff.

I don't really blame them for maybe telling me a little white lie saying we were all good either.

Now...it looks like you really are all good - that's what I'd try to focus on.

If they can forgive me I figure the least I can do is try and do the same, but of course that's up to you

D

LexieCat

I think your friend may very well have completely forgiven what happened when you were drinking, and STILL have been feeling nervous and a bit unsure until some time has gone by. Forgiveness is one thing--and it's really for the benefit of the forgiver, not the forgiv-ee. When we forgive someone we are letting go of the hurt that happened in the past. I can forgive someone to free myself, and still be leery of completely trusting the person until it's been earned back.

What's important is that he DOES trust you now--and he's putting his money where his mouth is. I think that's pretty terrific.

Ghostly

A lot of us have put a lot of people through a lot of crap. It's easier to forgive then forget...and I think that's what is goin on with your friend. Be glad your friend stuck with you and is comfortable with you. Let it go.

chicubs1

One of the great things about SR is finding people in (or have been in) similar situations who can help bring things into focus. I know now I should be grateful that I didn't destroy this friendship like so many others and this is proof that it might even be stronger than before. Thanks everyone!