inbloom

I woke up this morning with nary a thought to taking a drink but instead, feeling overwhelmed at the thought of attending a meeting a day, for 90 days.

I loved many things about my first meeting. Most of all, I loved knowing that everyone in the room has the same struggle with alcohol that I do. That being said, does recovery center around meetings or is it how we approach our recovery in terms of understanding, discipline and commitment to learning and applying what has worked for others through the steps?

I'm going to a beginner step meeting tonight because I want to truly learn what has worked for others. I'd very much like to find a sponsor who can mentor and support me. Then, I'd like to do that for someone else some day. Is it a form of resistance to to question this?

Ananda

90 meetings in 90 days is not THE answer, but it can be helpful.

You sound like you are on the path (hug)

RobbyRobot

Recovery centers around the choices we make day by day. For some meetings are the thing for others the steps are the thing. Still others its both. For me too it was and is always a combination of both depending on my situation for that day. Days I needed just the comfort of some good AA fellowship without all the mechanics of working the deepness of the program then my meetings filled that need absolutely. Other days when I needed the sweat of working those steps with others I found a more private setting in smaller fellowships brought together for the purpose of deeply working the steps together for a better understanding was what made the day for me.

One size and one way ideas never work well enough for me. I don't like staying in the box to discover solutions. Life outside of the box is all that sweeter for me.

Keeping an open mind and a grateful hopeful heart in whatever situation is the best approach either way. I'm not alone in my recovery and that is the important common essential connection I have with others living the sober life.

Best Wishes on your recovery and welcome to SR! It's great your asking questions and that you love being with others in recovery. Congratulations on your excellent attitude!

RR

LexieCat

I did the 90/90 and found it helpful. It isn't a requirement.

What I found helpful about it was that in my own mind I was putting the energy and commitment into my recovery that I previously put into my drinking. I drank every day, hence, a meeting every day was a small thing in the overall scheme of things.

It got me to a lot of different meetings, so I could find out which ones were most helpful to me. It got me exposed to a lot of the same people who went to the same meetings, so I could find out what good recovery really looks like. It got me focused on my recovery as a priority in my life--a commitment that I can't lose sight of, no matter what.

I went to women's meetings, Big Book meetings, Step study meetings, big meetings, small meetings. I joined a home group and got a commitment there.

Like I said, it isn't a requirement, but my own experience was that it helped.

yeahgr8

I worked the steps with a sponsor who had worked them and had long term sobriety and had the kind of life i wanted, e.g. happy, joyous and free...this led to complete freedom and recovery from the illness of alcoholism...now i maintain the level of spiritual fitness that i got from working the steps, and receiving a spiritual awakening, and work on improving it each day...i.e. being the best person i can possibly be...

I feel grateful for the gift of sobriety and treat this gift as a daily reprive making the most of each day and neither living in the past nor projecting into the future (still make plans obviously)...so basically have become a sane, mature individual and still learning which is great!

There are many levels of sobriety contingent on the amount of work you do on yourself...i would recommend following the path that is clearly laid out in the Big Book...imagine yourself a second chance at life with a blank sheet, being able to go anywhere and do anything...all one has to do is some work...i.e. the 12 steps with a sponsor's direction:-)

CarolD

I'm on my way to a noon meeting....
but wanted to share a bit about sponsorship.

There is an official AA guideline...usually on the free literature
rack that I suggest you read before chooseing a sponsor.

Here it is on line.....

Alcoholics Anonymous : Questions & Answers on Sponsorship

Hope you enjoy your Newcomers....
I'm looking forward to hearing more from you...

GettingStronger2

I know when I was first 90 in 90 it seemed unecessary and a bit much. However, much like my sobriety, I take it one day at a time. I have 69 days now, and honestly, I cannot imagine not going to my daily meeting. I am sure my 90 in 90 will continue on for a long time!

Don't think of it in the big chunk of 90 days, just take a day. . .and a meeting. . .at a time.

shaun00

Sure is helpful to some i guess.

If its in conjuction with rigorous step study/work ..sounds like a plan.

Meetings......whatever the amount didnt and wont keep me sane and sober.
i was deluded into thinking it would and got drunk.

12 steps and 90 meetings in 90 days sounds a better deal to me any how..then you can share your experience with each step at each meeting.

Mark75

My experience is that I get to see the program of AA, the 12 steps, put into action, in real time and real life, when I attend meetings.... Meetings, for me, reinforce the program of AA as found in the basic text of AA.

Not the other way around... Put another way

I "see" meetings with a pair of glasses that highlights the program and disregards what is contrary to the program (ie... self pity and self centered ego driven behavior...)... I disregard it, I don't react, I just don't "see" it....

If I were to approach the program of AA with glasses that highlight the meetings, I'd be lost, dazed and confused...

So yea... I agree with trucker... 90 in 90 with your big book firmly in hand and a sponsor to guide you... It's a wonderful thing, to see the program in action.... you just have to know it when you see it...

Mark

DayTrader

I'd LIKE a sponsor who's rich, cool and fun to hang out with.

I NEED a sponsor who's more of a drill sergeant and will happily tell me the crap I don't want to hear but need to hear.

tomvlll

It's tough to see now , but 90 in 90 is a form of the easier,softer way.

I won't sugar coat it beacuse I don't think that does anybody any favors.

If you want to recover from acloholism, find a sponsor and work the steps.

That's the AA treatment. The faster you start the treatment, the quicker you recover.
Alcoholism is like Schwarzenagger in the Terminator. You can do some things to hold it off temporarily, but I can assure it's going to keep coming after you.

Until you 'kill ' it. P.58 tells yo how to kill it.

Harry01854

I drank and got drunk on a daily basis, but that isn't a requirement to be an alcoholic. You can be an alcoholic without getting drunk everyday.

I went to at least 2 meetings a day, not because I was told to or it was suggested to. I went because I felt safer at meetings. I went to different meetings. Open discussion, speaker meetings, 12 Step meetings, Big Book meetings and Young People's meetings. For it was going to meetings where I learned that there are many people, just like me, trying to do something about their problem. And like LexieCat, there were meetings I liked and got more from, that I continued to go on a daily basis. And I got a home group to feel as a part of something greater than myself. I chased my recovery just as I chased my alcohol.

When I finally found a couple of Big Book Step Study meetings, I attended the both of them, they were held once a week. So I got in two of them a week. But it was the Big Book Step Study meetings where I learned about recovery and the process. It was at those two meetings that I learned about really looking at myself and what made me tick. Where I learned about being free from self and learning new ideas and new ways to live a happy, joyous and free life. Or a "New Design for Living."

It was at those two meetings I learned more about spirituality than I did at the other meetings. But I continued going to other meetings also and tried to pass on what worked for others before me, myself and others now. To pass on the message of the Big Book and the 12 Steps.

And what I had heard at meetings was, "you'll only get out of recovery, what you put into it."

Good luck in your journey and God bless.

Harry

inbloom

Thanks so much for the responses. I think taking it a day at a time is key. I've got some brain fog going on (I think I posted I'm on day 6 but it's only 5!) and am feeling a bit weary but I committed, today, to get myself to the newcomers meeting tonight and not to drink. I'll get my BB for sure tonight. I appreciate you all sharing what works for you and although I'm a bit off keel at the moment, I do trust my ability to commit to what will work for me. I think your all proof that one way may not be "the" way but it's kept you from picking up that first drink. I'll do whatever it takes. I hope no one tires of the questions but I am also learning to ask for help - it's a big thing for me. Thanks again.

Harry01854

Never think we'll get tired of your posts because as you say, your also learning how to ask for help, good.

You'll find your way that will work best for you and your recovery.

Keep posting and sharing, not only will it help you, but it will also help others. I know it certainly helps me.

Take care and God bless.

Harry

tomvlll

I trusted my ability to figure out what was best for me. I failed miserably.

RobertHugh

The challenge with 90 in 90 is that it is often used as a substitute for recovery.

I've heard sponsors say "do 90 in 90 and we'll worry about the steps after" and I believe that's dangerous advice for a powerless drunk. It's also a placeholder for sponsors who've taken on a sponsee and have no idea how to take them through the steps. I was one of these for many, many years.

I recently told a sponsee that 90 in 90 was up to him, I wasn't going to hold him to it, but that he needed to be telling me when he wasn't going to a meeting each day, so he could get used to telling me the truth and I could gauge how well he was immersing himself in the fellowship.

I tend to dislike the 90 in 90 idea because, unless it's coupled with step work, you wind up with a miserable alcoholic who is not finding any relief and yet is going to a meeting every day. Result? They say AA doesn't work.

Meetings aren't recovery. They are a place we go to to find recovery.

Chops

My experience differs from the above comment. I received a ton of relief from members ESH at meetings and it kept me going. I was so happy to hear that I was not alone and the honesty of those in AA is something I will be forever grateful for.

I never reccomend 90 and 90 but I did it... Guess I am goal oriented and it was some type of challenge that I put into my head and just dared myself to do it. Well, come to think of it, I was running on grace and I cannot take any real credit for getting sober. But heres what I remember. I actually broke the first year into four 90 day blocks... when I looked at like that it seemed so easy to do... again this is just what went on in my head and I cannot change the past, I can just tell it honestly.

I did not touch the steps until month 10, and I was far from miserable. Actually with a promotion at work, debts being addressed, my mother finally not convinced she was going to bury her only child, relationships healed, etc. things were going great. I remember bargaining with God saying, "OK man, just keep it like this, I don't want anything more but just keep it like this" :-)

I ran into my sponsor who is a book zealot but does not tell anyone what to do, I liked the guy and was able to relate. Anyway, he shared his experienced and said something like, "if you want to stay sober then you might want to do these steps" so I said sure.

Ok I got off track, 90 and 90 worked for me, it is a part of my sobriety that I cannot change. Is it a good idea for others? I have no clue.

inbloom

I got it, Tom. Thanks for the reminder.

Music

To what extent are you willing to go to stay sober? If 90 in 90 is what it takes, that's what it takes. That's what I needed to do. I actually did more than that but in the beginning, that's what I needed to do.

DayTrader

My only "beef" with the "90 in 90" comment is that many of the ppl in my area imply that it's the meeting that will keep you sober or that by being part of the fellowship, you'll stay sober - and neither of those is true.

When "90 in 90" is followed with "and get a sponsor, start reading the book, work through the steps and FIND GOD" then it makes more sense.

it's too bad that so few ppl tell newcomers the REAL deal but, instead, opt to use one of those snappy one-liners.