kae

I am on my 6th day sober/clean. I was wondering if anyone has experienced a break up early on in recovery or anytime really in recovery and how you got through it. I'm having a really hard time and cry all the time. I feel like everything in my life is just now going to spiral downward without him. Like I'm just going to start hanging out with all my old "friends" and start using and drinking again. Ugh. Really wish this wasn't happening.

insidejob

Hi Kae,

Ya, I've been there honey! So many times! It sucks, and that's why there's so many songs written about it.

How did I get through it? Crying. Writing. Going to loads and loads of meetings. Staying close to good AA members. Crying crying crying.

There's no easy way through a break-up (if anyone knows of one, please let me know). It's grieving, and if you don't allow the grief to come and feel all the feelings then you'll never get through to the last stage of grieving which is acceptance.

Sure you can booze and use. But then you'll be drunk, stoned and still broken-up.

Just keep yourself safe, be kind and gentle with yourself, you're going through a really hard time, so treat yourself like a child who's been hurt - hug yourself, sing happy songs, cry. The love you need now is within yourself, and it's yours to give to you.

I guarantee, it will pass. I'm not saying that because it's a snappy slogan. I'm saying it because I found it to be true in the same situation you're experiencing.

The only way to get through pain and heart-break is to actually go through it to the other side.

I really feel for you Kae and I'll be keeping you in my thoughts today.

Balou

Hang in there Kae, some day you will look back at these posts and be grateful for the experience and happy you moved on. Treat yourself well and stay strong.

endzoner

K.... congrats on day 6 .. its not that these things dont normally happen , Its just that you were not aware of them being high/drunk what ever .. you didnt give it a second thought and just proceeded with more mind altering things . this situation your enduring is called Life , and learing to live on lifes terms . It will pass and things will get better and easier to deal with , Just have to accept things handle and do what you can about them and pass it on to someone more capable . but getting out with your old using pals ISNT the answer .. you come 6 days whats another day

kae

Hey everyone! Thanks a lot. I wasn't saying I am going to get back with old using friends. I meant that I am scared that eventually I will if I'm lonely or whatever. I guess that is why they say one day at a time though! haha

Music

When I started AA meetings, my marrige was in jeopardy. I had to decide whether I was going to do what I needed to do to stay sober, or worry about something I had no control over. I see you having to make the same decision. Who's more important? You or the relationship?