New here - today is the day
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 6
New here - today is the day
Hi all,
Well, have decided that today is day 1 in my big step towards a non-drinking, new life.
Trigger? My 13-year old son has been staying alot with his Dad in the last weeks (we have joint custody) and I started having a bad feeling. I called him yesterday and asked him what was going on, said that I missed him. He was honest enough to say that he was bothered with the fact that I drink too much and then we get into fights when he goes to bed, etc......
Ouch.
He's right, and it's time for me to say out loud YES I HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM.
There, said it.
I'm picking up my son this afternoon to go karting and I will let him know that I apologize and will become sober (well, not in too much detail, you know, he is only 13) but basically I feel like I need to get his trust back. The only way to do this is to show him, by not having a drink.....
I know I will get alot of support from folks in this forum who have been through this. I have been coming to this forum for years ---- yep, it's been on my mind that I have to do something about this for a long time.
Today is a great day to start, hun?
RedMustang
Well, have decided that today is day 1 in my big step towards a non-drinking, new life.
Trigger? My 13-year old son has been staying alot with his Dad in the last weeks (we have joint custody) and I started having a bad feeling. I called him yesterday and asked him what was going on, said that I missed him. He was honest enough to say that he was bothered with the fact that I drink too much and then we get into fights when he goes to bed, etc......
Ouch.
He's right, and it's time for me to say out loud YES I HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM.
There, said it.
I'm picking up my son this afternoon to go karting and I will let him know that I apologize and will become sober (well, not in too much detail, you know, he is only 13) but basically I feel like I need to get his trust back. The only way to do this is to show him, by not having a drink.....
I know I will get alot of support from folks in this forum who have been through this. I have been coming to this forum for years ---- yep, it's been on my mind that I have to do something about this for a long time.
Today is a great day to start, hun?
RedMustang
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Thanks for joining us, RM. You're right, there's a lot of support available here. It's been an invaluable resource for me in the 4+ months I've gone without a drink.
You're also right about the only way to earn your son's trust is to show him. I told my fiancee countless times throughout the years that I would quit drinking. After a while, it was just me crying "Wolf!" again. But this time, when I really knew I had to stop drinking, I didn't say a word to her about it. I began going to AA meetings and posting on here. On Day 4 without a drink she asked me where I kept running off to. I told her I had been attending as many AA meetings as possible, and that I was determined to make our lives better by subtracting my drunkenness from it. She began to see the change in me, and saw that I was fully committed to my recovery. Our relationship is stronger than it's ever been in the 7 years we've been together.
Good on you for deciding to ditch the booze. We're here for you.
You're also right about the only way to earn your son's trust is to show him. I told my fiancee countless times throughout the years that I would quit drinking. After a while, it was just me crying "Wolf!" again. But this time, when I really knew I had to stop drinking, I didn't say a word to her about it. I began going to AA meetings and posting on here. On Day 4 without a drink she asked me where I kept running off to. I told her I had been attending as many AA meetings as possible, and that I was determined to make our lives better by subtracting my drunkenness from it. She began to see the change in me, and saw that I was fully committed to my recovery. Our relationship is stronger than it's ever been in the 7 years we've been together.
Good on you for deciding to ditch the booze. We're here for you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: BC
Posts: 43
Welcome, fellow Canadian. Ouch, indeed. I am glad he felt safe enough to be honest, and that you were able to take him seriously and make a change. Thirteen is still young enough that he will have a whole lifetime of remembering you sober, with just faint memories of what is was like when you drank. Big hugs, strength and peace.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Congrats on deciding to make the change! It always amazes me how wise children are, but you are also wise to listen to them. I asked my parents to stop drinking for 6 months when I was 13 and they didn't. My 13 year old thanks you for listening to your son.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 6
Thanks for all your posts, am crying right now, I think I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders....or I've found some shoulders to lean on for a while.
I have decided to stop drinking many million times before
but this is the 1st time I've actually put this in writing and actually reached out. I do need help. I need a plan. I need to be really busy this PM around 4h00PM to make sure I don't make a detour to the market for a 6-pack.......
Your support and posts will be very important to me to try to make it thru the 1st day ----- and the next weeks.
One day at a time. I think that if I plan on today only and get through it, I will be proud of myself tomorrow, and thus be encouraged to go for day 2.
Don't want to look too far ahead --- have disappointed myself alot in the past.
thanks again will be back!
I have decided to stop drinking many million times before
but this is the 1st time I've actually put this in writing and actually reached out. I do need help. I need a plan. I need to be really busy this PM around 4h00PM to make sure I don't make a detour to the market for a 6-pack.......Your support and posts will be very important to me to try to make it thru the 1st day ----- and the next weeks.
One day at a time. I think that if I plan on today only and get through it, I will be proud of myself tomorrow, and thus be encouraged to go for day 2.
Don't want to look too far ahead --- have disappointed myself alot in the past.
thanks again will be back!
Ethanol Intolerant
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Cascadia
Posts: 665
RM you can do this. If four is your trigger time being busy is a good idea. Also make sure you get something to eat and drink around then. Something that is a treat and will not cause your blood sugar to go wacko. The first week I would make a point of going down to butcher shop and getting some buffalo jerky and club soda in the afternoon. A little me time splurge.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Home is where my cat is...
Posts: 228
Try keeping a photo of your little boy on your car's display so that every time you turn on the engine, you can't help but see his face and think of the promise you made to him. Good luck!
Good luck!
xuse
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Ga (Dixie Land)
Posts: 342
welcome i have three children a 5 year old and two 11 year olds and they have never said that but i no they must no that the way i drink cant be normal its insane i never want them to drink but have done it in front of them alot how would you even have that conversation
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Originally Posted by RedMustang 
Thanks for all your posts, am crying right now, I think I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders....or I've found some shoulders to lean on for a while.
I have decided to stop drinking many million times before but this is the 1st time I've actually put this in writing and actually reached out. I do need help. I need a plan. I need to be really busy this PM around 4h00PM to make sure I don't make a detour to the market for a 6-pack.......
Your support and posts will be very important to me to try to make it thru the 1st day ----- and the next weeks.
One day at a time. I think that if I plan on today only and get through it, I will be proud of myself tomorrow, and thus be encouraged to go for day 2.
Don't want to look too far ahead --- have disappointed myself alot in the past.
thanks again will be back!
I have decided to stop drinking many million times before
but this is the 1st time I've actually put this in writing and actually reached out. I do need help. I need a plan. I need to be really busy this PM around 4h00PM to make sure I don't make a detour to the market for a 6-pack.......Your support and posts will be very important to me to try to make it thru the 1st day ----- and the next weeks.
One day at a time. I think that if I plan on today only and get through it, I will be proud of myself tomorrow, and thus be encouraged to go for day 2.
Don't want to look too far ahead --- have disappointed myself alot in the past.
thanks again will be back!
Check in here often, if you can. It can be a great asset in your recovery. Thanks for being here!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
welcome to the family!....i posted incessently the first weeks...everyone was helpful, kind and reached out to me...you all brought to the most sober year of my life in the last 25.
IDK how much you consume or for how long....but you might want to schedule a doctor visit if you start feeling sick....i was grumpy at first and had trouble sleeping. most times this passes within a week or so.
congrats on your decision.
IDK how much you consume or for how long....but you might want to schedule a doctor visit if you start feeling sick....i was grumpy at first and had trouble sleeping. most times this passes within a week or so.
congrats on your decision.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome, RedMustang! I'm so glad you decided to post. I hung around SR for a couple months before I got up the nerve, but wow, what a difference between reading everyone else's posts and posting for myself. There's something a little magical that happens when we reach out. And you've come to a great place to begin your sobriety.
How wonderful that you're doing this now, while your son is still young. You'll have lots a great years to look forward to. Keep posting and reading as much as you can, especially when you're tempted to pick up a drink.
One day at a time, you can do it!!
How wonderful that you're doing this now, while your son is still young. You'll have lots a great years to look forward to. Keep posting and reading as much as you can, especially when you're tempted to pick up a drink.
One day at a time, you can do it!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 6
Hi all!
I FEEL GREAT!
Went to the gym without a hangover, you should have seen me, the smoke almost coming out from the bike
Honestly, thanks to all of your support, I think that encouraged me to have a talk with my special 13-yr old. I told him I knew he was upset about my drinking, and confirmed that I had been using this as a crutch (BTW my husband is an orphan and only child, my only brother lives in England and my parents have not spoken to my brother and I in 3 years --- not many family ties). I apologized and told him I would change this behaviour because I love him, my husband, and myself too much to ruin all our lives.
He looked at me, smiled and said thanks that I was able to talk about this with him, that he was proud of me for being honest, and that I was the greatest Mom in the world and that he loved me.
Don't have to tell you I had to stop on the side of the road and cry, with him hugging me.
I know, he's 13 but really special, mature and loving. What more can a Mom want?
Anyway, here I am on another road, towards another destination. There may be sharp curves, valleys, mountains and stop signs on the way, but the destination is still on the other end of this beautiful road to recovery.
For all of you that were there for me yesterday, today and in the weeks to come ('I'll be back' she says in a deep, Arnold-sounding voice), hugs and thanks.
Red Mustang (a.k.a. Mustang Mom)
XXXXX
I FEEL GREAT!
Went to the gym without a hangover
, you should have seen me, the smoke almost coming out from the bikeHonestly, thanks to all of your support, I think that encouraged me to have a talk with my special 13-yr old. I told him I knew he was upset about my drinking, and confirmed that I had been using this as a crutch (BTW my husband is an orphan and only child, my only brother lives in England and my parents have not spoken to my brother and I in 3 years --- not many family ties). I apologized and told him I would change this behaviour because I love him, my husband, and myself too much to ruin all our lives.
He looked at me, smiled and said thanks that I was able to talk about this with him, that he was proud of me for being honest, and that I was the greatest Mom in the world and that he loved me.
Don't have to tell you I had to stop on the side of the road and cry, with him hugging me.
I know, he's 13 but really special, mature and loving. What more can a Mom want?
Anyway, here I am on another road, towards another destination. There may be sharp curves, valleys, mountains and stop signs on the way, but the destination is still on the other end of this beautiful road to recovery.
For all of you that were there for me yesterday, today and in the weeks to come ('I'll be back' she says in a deep, Arnold-sounding voice), hugs and thanks.
Red Mustang (a.k.a. Mustang Mom)
XXXXX
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