back to day one
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 19
back to day one
Doggone it, made 11 days fairly easily. Started listening to music tonight which is a huge trigger and blew it. damn, will start over... Cant believe I blew it... Oh well...
Shane
Shane
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Hey man.
Music was a massive trigger for me too. Drinking, drugs and music went together like strawberries and cream, Fish and chips etcetcetc.
Basically it took me a long time to be able to really get my passion for music back and to lose myself in my music without getting sad and depressed and nostalgic about not being able to use alcohol or drugs to highten the experience.
I found that I had to really grieve and mourne booze. There is music now that I simply won't listen to, now that I don't take drugs or drink. However that particular music wasn't where my true passion was, so it doesn't bother me. That was chemical music for me and there for only one purpose. To kiss the sky in euphoric ecstacy. False and fake.
I have really discovered my passion for my music again, only now it doesn't bother me that I don't drink or take drugs anymore, rather it has given me a deeper connection to the music, as I now relate to lyrics and melodies in a different way.
The point being that it took me time. I listened to a lot of music for years when I was only ever drunk or under the influence of drugs. So I couldn't expect to break that association over night. It was like mourning a best friend/lover. But it had to be done and I'm grateful that I stuck it out "one day at a time".
peace
Music was a massive trigger for me too. Drinking, drugs and music went together like strawberries and cream, Fish and chips etcetcetc.
Basically it took me a long time to be able to really get my passion for music back and to lose myself in my music without getting sad and depressed and nostalgic about not being able to use alcohol or drugs to highten the experience.
I found that I had to really grieve and mourne booze. There is music now that I simply won't listen to, now that I don't take drugs or drink. However that particular music wasn't where my true passion was, so it doesn't bother me. That was chemical music for me and there for only one purpose. To kiss the sky in euphoric ecstacy. False and fake.
I have really discovered my passion for my music again, only now it doesn't bother me that I don't drink or take drugs anymore, rather it has given me a deeper connection to the music, as I now relate to lyrics and melodies in a different way.
The point being that it took me time. I listened to a lot of music for years when I was only ever drunk or under the influence of drugs. So I couldn't expect to break that association over night. It was like mourning a best friend/lover. But it had to be done and I'm grateful that I stuck it out "one day at a time".
peace
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Shane:
I remember telling a counselor that I feared that,with sobriety, I would cease to be able to "appreciate" really "good" music. Well I went on drinking and "appreciating" for years and years and finally realized that I was using music as a way of zonking out and perpetuating my denial.I think my brain had been conditioned to associate music with drinking. Pavlov's dog. Now, sober for 21 plus years, I can say that I appreciate music even more than before. In the earlier days I was using music as a cop out. Try smelling flowers and watching sunsets for awhile. Good luck.
Wpainterw
I remember telling a counselor that I feared that,with sobriety, I would cease to be able to "appreciate" really "good" music. Well I went on drinking and "appreciating" for years and years and finally realized that I was using music as a way of zonking out and perpetuating my denial.I think my brain had been conditioned to associate music with drinking. Pavlov's dog. Now, sober for 21 plus years, I can say that I appreciate music even more than before. In the earlier days I was using music as a cop out. Try smelling flowers and watching sunsets for awhile. Good luck.
Wpainterw
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 275
Just dust off and jump back on the path. You have to be careful with music, the reason we all love music so much is the power of it, and it can be too powerful! I'm in very early recovery, little over 3 weeks, and I have to be kind of selective of what I listen to or else my mind races. I was on day 3 when the sadness is so overwhelming and heard the GnR classic November Rain and had to turn it off, was just way to sad! Take care .
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
You're going to be OK, Shane - Just remember to focus on what you're going to do today to stay sober. Get back to taking it one day (or hour) at a time.
I know there were things I did while drinking that I couldn't do for weeks or months after getting sober. After several months, I feel that I can now do them, so it really does get better.
It's good that you know what kind of mood/trigger you had. Firm up your resolve and get back to business and definitely be kind to yourself (don't beat yourself up for this).:ghug3
I know there were things I did while drinking that I couldn't do for weeks or months after getting sober. After several months, I feel that I can now do them, so it really does get better.
It's good that you know what kind of mood/trigger you had. Firm up your resolve and get back to business and definitely be kind to yourself (don't beat yourself up for this).:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lowell
Posts: 345
Good show Shane by coming back. Relapse does happen, not many get this the first time around. Beware though, for there are some that never got back to stay and ended up in a grave.
Keep this in mind if you can. You don't have to do this for a lifetime, do it just for today, one day at a time.
This time around, someone told me not to set any goals. Like, I want to stay sober for the rest of my life. If only I can make it to, a certain length of time, I'll be okay once I get past that point.
Sometimes it's hard enough to just do it in minutes, let alone a day.
:ghug3 Glad to see you back though and am looking forward to your progress.
God bless,
Harry
Keep this in mind if you can. You don't have to do this for a lifetime, do it just for today, one day at a time.
This time around, someone told me not to set any goals. Like, I want to stay sober for the rest of my life. If only I can make it to, a certain length of time, I'll be okay once I get past that point.
Sometimes it's hard enough to just do it in minutes, let alone a day.
:ghug3 Glad to see you back though and am looking forward to your progress.
God bless,
Harry
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