The "first" sober experiences
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: PA
Posts: 89
The "first" sober experiences
I am waking up to day 13..yesterday was one of my hardest so far. Prior to my decision to stop drinking we had invited a wine loving couple over for dinner last nite, upon hearing I would not be drinking they suggested we "reschedule". We made another plan with another couple who barely drink. Dinner was fine, she had 1 glass of white zin (not even real wine to me) and the rest of us club soda...home by 8). I really did not miss the wine because of the company we were with but....
when we got home my kids had friends sleep over and they wanted to swim...one of my very favorite wine related things to do is sit around the pool with DH at night, play games and yes drink my wine. Now..I just can't do it. First, I am so damn tired from fighting this fight that I truly wanted to go to bed, second it would have just been too hard w/o wine. It makes me so sad that I can't do something I so truly looked forward to all winter.
Guess what I wonder is..as I go about doing things wineless for the first time will it get easier? I am so scared that it won't and it will lead to a relapse
when we got home my kids had friends sleep over and they wanted to swim...one of my very favorite wine related things to do is sit around the pool with DH at night, play games and yes drink my wine. Now..I just can't do it. First, I am so damn tired from fighting this fight that I truly wanted to go to bed, second it would have just been too hard w/o wine. It makes me so sad that I can't do something I so truly looked forward to all winter.
Guess what I wonder is..as I go about doing things wineless for the first time will it get easier? I am so scared that it won't and it will lead to a relapse
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
If it didn't get easier none of us would be here, hunt 
You're stacking up 13 days against years of drinking - cut yourself some slack and give yourself the chance to deal with these situations sober and learn some new skills.
Believe it or not I reckon one day you'll sit around the pool with your DH at night, play games and...not drink wine...and actually be happy about that
D
You're stacking up 13 days against years of drinking - cut yourself some slack and give yourself the chance to deal with these situations sober and learn some new skills.
Believe it or not I reckon one day you'll sit around the pool with your DH at night, play games and...not drink wine...and actually be happy about that
D
I got nothin'
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
D's right....as usual. 
You'll be looking forward to things sober.
I appreciate having a clear mind and knowing that in the middle of any activity I won't pass out from being drunk.
It's especially hard in the beginning--sticking with sobriety is the key to making it through.
After a while the thought of being able to do something sober isn't a mountain to climb.
I remember the very first time I had the thought in my mind to quit for good...it scared me.
Now that I have a bit of sober time there's nothing scary about not drinking.
13 days is fantastic, huntwc. A lot of people don't make it that far. Feel good about the hard work you are doing...and yes, I do think staying sober, especially in the beginning, is hard work.
You'll be looking forward to things sober.
I appreciate having a clear mind and knowing that in the middle of any activity I won't pass out from being drunk.
It's especially hard in the beginning--sticking with sobriety is the key to making it through.
After a while the thought of being able to do something sober isn't a mountain to climb.
I remember the very first time I had the thought in my mind to quit for good...it scared me.
Now that I have a bit of sober time there's nothing scary about not drinking.
13 days is fantastic, huntwc. A lot of people don't make it that far. Feel good about the hard work you are doing...and yes, I do think staying sober, especially in the beginning, is hard work.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
It truly will get easier....as long as you dom't drink
and re start the disease of alcoholism.
Why not make a list for yourself with all the reasons
being a non drinker is important for you?
And another with what destructive things that happens
when you drink.
I found that useful and used mine to begin a daily journal.
It helped me focus and it made me feel good about my progress.
All my best to you and your family....
:
and re start the disease of alcoholism.
Why not make a list for yourself with all the reasons
being a non drinker is important for you?
And another with what destructive things that happens
when you drink.
I found that useful and used mine to begin a daily journal.
It helped me focus and it made me feel good about my progress.
All my best to you and your family....
:
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
You're doing well, hunt! Congrats on your sober time!!
I found that there were things I could do sober right away, and other things that just felt like huge triggers. I was sad about it, too, because I thought I'd never be able to do them again. Some of those things may have been more about the drinking than the actual activity itself, but others (like making jewelry) are things I enjoy but always did in combination with alcohol.
I'm only a couple months sober, but already some of those activities are starting to get easier to do sober, and it's only been very recently that some of my motivation is coming back. For a while, I didn't want to do anything at all. So please be really patient with yourself. It's a process. Get a journal and start writing things down, so you can look back and see the progress.......
Also, thanks for the post. It helps all of us. I know that, for me, I can get through some discomfort if I'm sure it get me somewhere. There's nothing scarier than being new in sobriety and thinking "Will I feel this way forever?"
I found that there were things I could do sober right away, and other things that just felt like huge triggers. I was sad about it, too, because I thought I'd never be able to do them again. Some of those things may have been more about the drinking than the actual activity itself, but others (like making jewelry) are things I enjoy but always did in combination with alcohol.
I'm only a couple months sober, but already some of those activities are starting to get easier to do sober, and it's only been very recently that some of my motivation is coming back. For a while, I didn't want to do anything at all. So please be really patient with yourself. It's a process. Get a journal and start writing things down, so you can look back and see the progress.......
Also, thanks for the post. It helps all of us. I know that, for me, I can get through some discomfort if I'm sure it get me somewhere. There's nothing scarier than being new in sobriety and thinking "Will I feel this way forever?"
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: London, England
Posts: 211
It gets worse before it gets better but each time you face a new event without booze it's like that 1st day of school, once it's done you know it's not as bad as you expected and you go back the next time with more confidence. I just went to Greece for a week and came back actually feeling like i'd had a holiday rather than feeling like I needed rehab like when i used to go away. I had an amazing trip, got so much more done, relaxed properly and more to the point it was far less terrifying than i expected it to be. It will get better, this was after 4 months of sobriety, day 13 is rocky times, I promise it does get easier Hunt.
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