wolf99

One week as of today. I had some pretty big cravings today though. I live with my parents right now. They drink about a bottle of rum a night...it is always there. It gets pretty tempting. What usually happens is one of my family members drunkenly does something, I get stressed out, but have no control over what they are doing, and then right after that happens is when I crave a drink. I feel like it almost takes over my mind. It seems like the best idea in the world, and I don't know how to get away from it. Today I just had to take a drive and cry and let out all of my emotions...ehh I feel like a crazy person sometimes.

onestepforward

Crazy because you chose to leave the temptation and allow yourself to feel your feelings? Hardly. Crazy is when we are actively engaging in our addictions. I am inspired by your decision. We wouldn't have that horrible craving if we weren't addicted, because then we wouldn't be addicted.

Dee74

hi wolf

Although many members here live with alcoholics and stay sober, your situation doesn't sound ideal, and I hope you're working to extricate yourself soon.

You can't change them - but you can stay committed to your own goals - you're used to turning to alcohol for stress and there's a lot of stress - but you can stop the cycle - you know what alcohol does to you.

It's a sensible thing I think to get out and get away, and re-center yourself.

Hope you can move sometime soon.
D

Andi

Hi,

Congratulations on your week sober, I hope you are able to move out soon, or maybe stay at a friend's for a while.

Wish you all the best in this difficult situation.

wolf99

Well my goal is to be out by 6 months from now. I'm just sorting out my life right now, I have made some pretty bad mistakes in the past few years (sigh). I currently am going to school though, and I chose hours that are at night as to avoid them at their worst. The weekends are what kill me. I am looking for a job right now though...hopefully someone will bite soon! Thanks for the advice...the amount of unnecessary stress is just insane.

keithj

Here is what I found in my years of unsuccessfully trying to stay sober. I would constantly make changes, make plans, reduce stress and otherwise try and arrange my life so that I wouldn't have to drink.

And every time I would end up drunk. I kept thinking that if only I could get all that external stuff lined up just right, it would be OK. It never was.

Recovery for me was an inside job. All of that arranging and managing was futile until I surrendered to the recovery process (AA for me). Only then could I get some direction and order in my life.

The external stuff was never the real problem. I was the problem. And I had to fundamentally change the "I" part before the problem could be solved. Otherwise like a rat in a maze.

DUNE

Im at day number 7 myself for like the 12th time in the past 6 months. Sometimes I get the urges too, just like everyone else. Mine are usually trigered by restlessness. I think about how much better I would feel to be drunk and doing something productive, or just as a reward for something that I feel really good about. But that is just a fantacy for me at this point. I went from a happy drunk to someone that is just reserved and depressed when I drink.

The other day when I passed by the liquor section, I did start to get the urge, but then just looked at all the bottles and remembered how they make me feel when I'm drinking and when I'm going through withdrawls. That made it really easy to walk away. In fact I almost felt like running away.

I don't know if that helps, but for me, remembering all the negitive things about drinking is really important to staying sober. It's so easy for me to forget how bad the alcohol is for me, my health, and true happieness in life (witch I have not had in a long time and am working twards again).

Dune

wolf99

I agree with you on this. For a long time I blamed them for my drinking. I would think of excuses...even when I didn't live with them. Like, the way they raised me was just so horrible, I don't know how to function, everything is just overwhelming and I can't deal with it...and now living with them I have made the excuse that they are too much to deal with for a long time. And then I just stepped back and realized, wow, I'm an alcoholic. I will think of any excuse to drink. It doesn't really have anything to do with my family. My thinking wasn't rational...just because all of these bad things have happened to me doesn't give me a reason to destroy myself. But I have realized they are one of my biggest triggers also, so I do agree that it would be a good idea to get away from it...but in the meantime I will work through the issues instead of drinking. I'll do what I can do.

least

It's much harder to stay sober when surrounded by drinkers, but it CAN be done. I agree with keithj - sobriety is an inside job. I had to change who I was, my thinking, my behavior, my attitude - but once I did I was able to stay sober and now have seven months. And I tried and failed so many many times. I thought I was hopeless but with the support of my friends here I never gave up, and now I no longer even want to drink - not even in rough times.

It can be done but you've got to put a lot of effort into it. I wish you the best and hope you can find a more serene place to live soon.