searching

hello all.. its been a while since I posted anything and I apologize for that. its been a little over 3 months since Ive had a drink just to get that out up front... one question I have is I really thought my depression and anxiety would go away once I quit drinking but Ive been having a really hard time with it lately.. still beating myself up with regrets over my last episode, loosing my really good job being the most regretful. the wife and I are back together and Ive been spending some real quality time with my 5 yr old but I just cant get past this depressed feeling. Im on anti depressants and they seem to help some with my anxiety. just wondering if anyone else has gone through this and if it ever goes away? also for the first time in my 3 months sober this weekend was really hard. not that I wanted to get trashed but the thirst for a good quality beer was really strong, maybe being the 4th, not sure... anyway just a update and a few questions, hope all is well with everyone!

Dee74

Hi searching

I think most of us here have regrets.

I had to learn I had to accept that these things were in the past - they happened, and I can't make them unhappen anymore that I can make the sun go backwards and make today yesterday.

I try and focus on the good things I have in my life today

If you're having trouble dealing with all that tho, maybe you need to talk with a counsellor or a therapist a bit ?

D

Bamboozle

Congrats on the sober time, searching!

About that depression thing...

I still have it and some days are extremely hard. I go to therapy as much as I can afford.

JJB

Oh I like that one about making the sun go backwards!
I think I'll stretch the analogy to not only can't I change the past but also I can't "safely have one drink" anymore than I can make the sun go backwards!
:rotfxko

searching

thanks for the replys. slept in way late this morning but really don't care it's just how I feel at the moment. just wish I could feel better about how things are going, I have it all really, cept for a job, but just cant be happy about it. Like I said I really thought once the drinking was behind me the depression would take care of its self but its not. I love the analogy of can't make the sun go backwords, I do live in the past way to much. Going to take it easy today, go work out, think some things through, try to figure out what is going on with my head. For years Ive suffered with anxiety and depression and I was constantly being told it was the alcohol causing it but now I dont know but guess either way Im better off without it. thanks again for being there and listening....

searching

guess it's time to move to a forum other than newcomers to recovery

CarolD

searching.....

You can post in more than 1 Forum if you wish.
You can also stay in Newcomers ...it's up to you.

Congratulations on your sober months....

A few thoughts from me.....
it may take longer for you to feel better
Are you aware of PAWS?

Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center

Are you attending AA? I've been useing it for years.
When I began working the 12 Steps
I felt a shift in perception.
I was in recovery not only sober.
It gave me new ways to cope and change.

Sorry to know of your difficulties
All my best to you and your family

least

Congrats on your sober time. I'd consider counseling if you can. I see an addiction counselor once a week and it helps me a lot. I hope the depression and anxiety go away soon, but if not, see your doctor or a counselor. It might help.

nancylee

For me, exercise and physical work helps with my anxiety. I have been having a very hard time staying sober, and I started doing a physical job, like I did in my younger years, and when I get home, I am so tired, I cannot even think about having a bottle of wine.

Maybe some landscaping around the yard, other heavy labor work?? It is helping me,
Nancy

searching

Carol, thanks so much for pointing me towards PAWS that sounds soooo much like what Ive been suffering from for years! Does anyone have any experience with this or battling it?

DayTrader

Hey Searching...

Man...... that depression and anxiety tore my a$$ UP! I was going to meetings each week, trying to work on my recovery, and felt progressively worse and worse each week or so. I had some history with Effexor and it saved my butt during my divorce but I didn't want to go back on it when I quit drinking (worried about becoming dependent upon it next + it impacted my sex life in a big way - just being honest). Luckily I had an alcohol tether on so I couldn't drink........or I know for sure I would have. I don't know what the other alternatives are but I can tell you what worked for me: 1. putting my ego and pride down and admitting I probably needed some help from a God I wasn't all that sure existed or, if He did, I wasn't so sure He'd be willing to help me. 2. trying to find out who that God is (for me) and trying to learn to trust him to give me the strength to get free of booze. 3. ATTACKING the steps of AA as best I could and trying my damnedest to "live" them.

Looking back I can see that God I wasn't so sure of did a whole lot more for me than I gave Him credit for at the time.



As far as "does it go away" - yes, it absolutely does (for me) but it's not gone 100% of the time. It's gone most of the time.....and, usually, it's not at the same level it used to be. Sometimes though, it's as if I'm right back at square one with it - just as bad as I ever remember it being. I'm kinda in one of those spots again now.... all I can say is "keeping busy, going on walks, occupying my mind, reading, working out......etc - NONE of that stuff has much of a lasting effect on it. The only thing that seems to work is working on my connection to God. Even when I don't get it "right," it seems that just the process of trying has a big impact on my feelings. Before I realize it, those troubles just "disappeared."


I know......it probably sound hokey. Trust me, I'm no religious fanatic. (lol - my family would argue I'm quite the opposite when it comes to organized religion). I'm just trying to tell ya what helped me - even though I was pretty sure it wouldn't. Maybe it's worth a try?

Good luck - whatever you do. The quest an alcoholic goes on in search of a comfortable and happy way of life can be a royal pain.... when you find it, no matter how brief, you realize all that searching is soooooooo worth it!