Day one...again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 16
Day one...again
Hi everyone,
First let me start that these boards and the wisdom I've found from them is a huge contributor to my decision to quit. I posted here back in November when I made it three whole days without my nightly bottle(s) of wine, then fell into the trap again.
It's got to stop. I started a "sober journal" today and wrote down why I want to quit drinking. Good god, there are so many reasons!! What really triggered my motivation to quit this time, besides those pesky daily hangovers at work, is that I'm starting to see and feel some physical effects. I feel bloated and gassy most of the time, my muscles feel weak and sore like I got hit by a bus the day before, and my skin looks bad. I saw a recent picture of myself, and I looked like I had 10 extra pounds in my face alone, plus a really dull and pasty complexion.
I can't believe I keep doing this to myself. Most of the time I don't even want to drink, but I'm slightly OCD and rely very heavily on a "routine", so making this change really scares me. I have to do it though - I know now.
Tonight's plan is to go home, change clothes, and do that yardwork I've been putting off for a month (I never really crave wine until I get home from work). Then, I'm going to read my self-help book. then, I'm going to go to bed and toss and turn all night based on my past experiences with sober nights. Oh well, better than looking and feeling like a zombie in the mornings.
I look forward to being a part of this community, and staying here this time.
Any words of advice for my first few days? What should I expect?
First let me start that these boards and the wisdom I've found from them is a huge contributor to my decision to quit. I posted here back in November when I made it three whole days without my nightly bottle(s) of wine, then fell into the trap again.
It's got to stop. I started a "sober journal" today and wrote down why I want to quit drinking. Good god, there are so many reasons!! What really triggered my motivation to quit this time, besides those pesky daily hangovers at work, is that I'm starting to see and feel some physical effects. I feel bloated and gassy most of the time, my muscles feel weak and sore like I got hit by a bus the day before, and my skin looks bad. I saw a recent picture of myself, and I looked like I had 10 extra pounds in my face alone, plus a really dull and pasty complexion.
I can't believe I keep doing this to myself. Most of the time I don't even want to drink, but I'm slightly OCD and rely very heavily on a "routine", so making this change really scares me. I have to do it though - I know now.
Tonight's plan is to go home, change clothes, and do that yardwork I've been putting off for a month (I never really crave wine until I get home from work). Then, I'm going to read my self-help book. then, I'm going to go to bed and toss and turn all night based on my past experiences with sober nights. Oh well, better than looking and feeling like a zombie in the mornings.
I look forward to being a part of this community, and staying here this time.
Any words of advice for my first few days? What should I expect?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 78
Oh my god Penny I could have written this post!!!
Your routine is JUST like mine. I don't crave it all day but as soon as I get home from work...the craving is there. I'm struggling with that right now, as I just got home from work and now all I want to do is go out and buy a bottle of wine to drink later. (I usually don't start drinking 'til 8 or 9).
I'm on day 5 and I'm really craving it right now. But like you, I got tired of waking up with a hangover and dealing with sluggishness at work every morning. Feeling gassy, bloated, just generally gross. You can't tell by looking at me that I drank the night before but I sure can tell.
Which self help book are you reading? I'm in this with you...message me any time so we can talk and help each other through it.
Your routine is JUST like mine. I don't crave it all day but as soon as I get home from work...the craving is there. I'm struggling with that right now, as I just got home from work and now all I want to do is go out and buy a bottle of wine to drink later. (I usually don't start drinking 'til 8 or 9).
I'm on day 5 and I'm really craving it right now. But like you, I got tired of waking up with a hangover and dealing with sluggishness at work every morning. Feeling gassy, bloated, just generally gross. You can't tell by looking at me that I drank the night before but I sure can tell.
Which self help book are you reading? I'm in this with you...message me any time so we can talk and help each other through it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Saint Louis, MO
Posts: 285
Learn from your mistakes last time, whatever those were.
To be blunt: your recovery plan sounds weak. If spending the night alone with chores and self-help books got people sober there wouldn't be sites like this. I know because I tried it your way a bunch of times and failed. Sobriety never stuck for me until I went to treatment and found AA. I know some people don't have the money for the former or the stomach for the latter. That's ok.
I needed face-to-face interaction with others for recovery to work. AA is the easiest and cheapest available--but therapy or alternative recovery groups are options as well.
It is not obvious to me whether you think you are an alcoholic or not. That's a question you should probe if you don't have a clear answer.
One last thing: I never got traction towards recovery until I totally reimagined my relationship with alcohol. Physical appearance, hangover symptoms, and consequences like that may force a normal person to quit drinking, but not an alcoholic. I needed to want to change my entire life. Not lose the morning hangovers, but change who I am as a person.
Please stick around and keep an open mind.
To be blunt: your recovery plan sounds weak. If spending the night alone with chores and self-help books got people sober there wouldn't be sites like this. I know because I tried it your way a bunch of times and failed. Sobriety never stuck for me until I went to treatment and found AA. I know some people don't have the money for the former or the stomach for the latter. That's ok.
I needed face-to-face interaction with others for recovery to work. AA is the easiest and cheapest available--but therapy or alternative recovery groups are options as well.
It is not obvious to me whether you think you are an alcoholic or not. That's a question you should probe if you don't have a clear answer.
One last thing: I never got traction towards recovery until I totally reimagined my relationship with alcohol. Physical appearance, hangover symptoms, and consequences like that may force a normal person to quit drinking, but not an alcoholic. I needed to want to change my entire life. Not lose the morning hangovers, but change who I am as a person.
Please stick around and keep an open mind.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi Penny
Welcome back.
I recommend everyone see a Dr when they detox. I think that's a responsible decision.
Every detox was different for me, as I expect it is for you too but generally I always felt tired and listless, sometimes a little light headed and foggy, I sweated a lot, had trouble sleeping, had either a ravenous appetite or none at all, and was generally very anxious....
We have a thread in the Alcoholism forum full of peoples experiences in detox.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
good luck with it, and welcome to SR!
D
Welcome back.
I recommend everyone see a Dr when they detox. I think that's a responsible decision.
Every detox was different for me, as I expect it is for you too but generally I always felt tired and listless, sometimes a little light headed and foggy, I sweated a lot, had trouble sleeping, had either a ravenous appetite or none at all, and was generally very anxious....
We have a thread in the Alcoholism forum full of peoples experiences in detox.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
good luck with it, and welcome to SR!
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 16
Thanks so much Eleanor! It always feels better to know there are others in my situation. We sound very similar - I'd usually start drinking around 7 or 8, especially while cooking. Lately I have been up to almost 2 bottles per night, which really scares me that my tolerance is that high!
Congrats on day 5 - I hope to be there soon! The book I am reading is "The Easy Way to Stop Drinking" by Allen Carr. Read the reviews of it on amazon, they are extremely favorable. It might not work, but heck, I'll give it a try. It was only 10 or 11 bucks and that's less than my daily wine budget! I'll let you know what I think.
Yay for no hangovers at work tomorrow! I am not looking forward to the restless night, but I'll make it.
Congrats on day 5 - I hope to be there soon! The book I am reading is "The Easy Way to Stop Drinking" by Allen Carr. Read the reviews of it on amazon, they are extremely favorable. It might not work, but heck, I'll give it a try. It was only 10 or 11 bucks and that's less than my daily wine budget! I'll let you know what I think.
Yay for no hangovers at work tomorrow! I am not looking forward to the restless night, but I'll make it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 16
Thank you for your advice and encouragement. I will definitely keep an open mind. I believe the reasons I have failed before is because I wasn't ready to kick the habit, and I really didn't think I was an alcoholic. I now see that I am, and I am really ready to quit. I never would have owned up and bought a book about it at all in the first place! I will see how the next few days go and I am definitely not ruling out AA in the future.
Thanks!
Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 20
I haven't had a drink today, not because I have iron will power, but because I've run out of money 
I feel anxouis and rubbish and have zero concentration, but I've had small moments where I don't feel completely horrible!
I've been drinking heavily for a year, after six months or so pretty much sober time, and if I write a list why not to drink like you I'll probably be here forever. But mainly it's getting stupidly dangerous, and spent last night with weird spasms and my kidneys ache!
I'll probably drink tommorrow cause I get paid, but my plan is to spend out on bills, where it should all be going anyway, and only buy a day or twos worth. Good luck to you and good luck to me
I feel anxouis and rubbish and have zero concentration, but I've had small moments where I don't feel completely horrible!I've been drinking heavily for a year, after six months or so pretty much sober time, and if I write a list why not to drink like you I'll probably be here forever. But mainly it's getting stupidly dangerous, and spent last night with weird spasms and my kidneys ache!
I'll probably drink tommorrow cause I get paid, but my plan is to spend out on bills, where it should all be going anyway, and only buy a day or twos worth. Good luck to you and good luck to me
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Good for you for starting over again. I tried and failed too many times and was starting to feel hopeless, but I never gave up - much gratitude to SR for always encouraging me and/or kicking my butt when I needed it.
Don't give up! Never give up!! I finally have almost seven months and feel better than ever AND my obsession to drink is GONE!! Do whatever you have to do to stay sober. It's worth the effort!
Don't give up! Never give up!! I finally have almost seven months and feel better than ever AND my obsession to drink is GONE!!
Do whatever you have to do to stay sober. It's worth the effort!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 587
Hi, this could be me. I leave work on stop on the way for a bottle of wine, just to forget. For me it is my 3rd start detoxing within 1 year. I am on day 6 today. I was drinnking on and off for the past 15 years, always in the evenings to reward myself that I made it trough the day. In the morning I am disgusted. Since last tiem I am having blackouts sometimes. I call people and then do not remeber what I said on the phone. I only now ehn I look at my phone the enxt day and the person not talking ot me. This happend the last 2 weeks. It really scared me. So I decided once and for all to quit. Till now I have no withdrawel symptoms. Hope this is a good sign. But hey only if you try you can succeed, so even it is day one, for you congrats.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 20
And I know my plan isn't the greatest plan, and in an ideal world I should get medical help like in the past, but I've been reducing how much I drink quite considerably. And today has shown the dangers are quite small, or as the small as they will get. Anyway it's nice to offload and I really like this community, having been reading it for a few weeks now, I didn't know there a place like this before!! And cheers least
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi Penny - I drank as much as you did, give or take, and I know about OCD tendencies, too. It took several attempts for me to finally KNOW in my heart that I couldn't control it anymore. I kept thinking that I'd be able to drink differently "tomorrow." Sometimes I did manage to cut my consumption quite a bit, but only with alot of difficulty and sooner or later I would go right back to my former amount.
I think we get to a point where we just can't continue, and it sounds like you're there. The first couple days will be yuck, but keep holding on - it gets better and better!
I think we get to a point where we just can't continue, and it sounds like you're there. The first couple days will be yuck, but keep holding on - it gets better and better!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 438
Best of luck to you, Penny. You've got alot of support here and hopefully you have some 'in-person' support wherever you are. I'd also like to agree with the suggestion that you see a doctor if possible. It's a good idea in general to have some medical supervision if you've been a heavy drinker and you're quitting, plus the doctor can probably prescribe something to help you sleep.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 16
Well, I've made it to day two, and I actually feel amazing! It was like walking on sunshine coming in to work today without body aches and pains, nausea, fuzzy vision, etc. Last night was a little tough, not because I really craved wine but because I didn't really know what to do with myself without having my old friend/enemy at my fingertips. I started reading my book and I really like it so far...it's put alcohol itself in an entirely different perspective for me which does make it seem kind of disgusting.
I did have some trouble sleeping last night, and some really weird vivid dreams, which I totally anticipated, but other than that no other symptoms so far.
I know it's only been two days, but I have a new feeling about not drinking than I've ever had before. I know I've got rocky times ahead, but right now I feel good, and I'm going to stay positive and keep coming to SR. Thanks everyone for your support!
I did have some trouble sleeping last night, and some really weird vivid dreams, which I totally anticipated, but other than that no other symptoms so far.
I know it's only been two days, but I have a new feeling about not drinking than I've ever had before. I know I've got rocky times ahead, but right now I feel good, and I'm going to stay positive and keep coming to SR. Thanks everyone for your support!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 16
Thanks guys!! I have been keeping a journal, and I just wrote a note to my "future self" who may be wanting to drink about how wonderful I feel today and how crappy I felt yesterday. And I'd love to lose some weight as well, so there is another good motivator!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
