Mourning the loss of my dad for the nth time
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Mourning the loss of my dad for the nth time
My dad called last week saying he was moving to Finland on Thursday. Everything was ready for the move.
Granted he was not here anyway (he was in Texas) but I feel he is further away almost unreachable, and coming to terms with the idea that I will see him once every couple of years if I am lucky.
It has been a strange mourning.
He had also given me his laptop as a present. He had original songs, and many other valuable stuff for me. Well my work laptop was failing so I was using the small laptop and had a blast listening to Santana, Deep purple, etc.
Last Sat went to the market. While I was there a band of vandals stole that laptop from my car's trunk. I have to carry the laptop in case there is an emergency. Well, they crashed a window. Everyone knows that happens often, but they carry guns. Of course policemen are involved, the corrupt rats that make up the core of my lousy government and are in the side of vandals and worse not the citizens.
So bye to his memories on that laptop, too.
I did not remember it was father's day or sent him a note asking how he is doing. I feel resentful.
I am trying to see the good side but it still hurts.
Now the only family I got is my Mom and she is moving to another state that is also further away from me. Going to spend this week with her.
I am also mourning her, it won't be easy to see her often, either.
Add 24x7 on call schedules.
Add stress due to the fact the laptops case was where i had my tickets.. so I got to replace them tomorrow ASAP and probably pay more
Too much work I'll never finish in one day.
My stress and disappointment with this city as its the second time they crash a car window, and it makes me remember all the other bad stuff I have lived here plus all the horrible stories I have heard.
But thanks anyway, thief. For just being interested in stuff and not kidnapping or worse. For allowing me to let go and remember the memories I got and the future plans I have are always alive.
For motivating me again to leave this country ASAP.
Mid August Ill get some cash. Ill open a personal savings account so I can visit Australia and see for myself if I like it. Then Ill go to an interview for an organization that helps with the immigation documents. I am hoping they need a technician like me.
Last time I went, the bf I had then was the one with the points. Now its me the one with the assets. And if bf doesn't want to go to the interview, fine. I am NOT going to stay here complaining, at least I'll try to have a chance for a better life... just like my mom and dad and sis did and keep doing...
And then it will be one family member in Mexico, one in Congo, one in Helsinki and another one in Sydney (or wherever place accepts me as a productive member of its society!)
Granted he was not here anyway (he was in Texas) but I feel he is further away almost unreachable, and coming to terms with the idea that I will see him once every couple of years if I am lucky.
It has been a strange mourning.
He had also given me his laptop as a present. He had original songs, and many other valuable stuff for me. Well my work laptop was failing so I was using the small laptop and had a blast listening to Santana, Deep purple, etc.
Last Sat went to the market. While I was there a band of vandals stole that laptop from my car's trunk. I have to carry the laptop in case there is an emergency. Well, they crashed a window. Everyone knows that happens often, but they carry guns. Of course policemen are involved, the corrupt rats that make up the core of my lousy government and are in the side of vandals and worse not the citizens.
So bye to his memories on that laptop, too.
I did not remember it was father's day or sent him a note asking how he is doing. I feel resentful.
I am trying to see the good side but it still hurts.
Now the only family I got is my Mom and she is moving to another state that is also further away from me. Going to spend this week with her.
I am also mourning her, it won't be easy to see her often, either.
Add 24x7 on call schedules.
Add stress due to the fact the laptops case was where i had my tickets.. so I got to replace them tomorrow ASAP and probably pay more
Too much work I'll never finish in one day.
My stress and disappointment with this city as its the second time they crash a car window, and it makes me remember all the other bad stuff I have lived here plus all the horrible stories I have heard.
But thanks anyway, thief. For just being interested in stuff and not kidnapping or worse. For allowing me to let go and remember the memories I got and the future plans I have are always alive.
For motivating me again to leave this country ASAP.
Mid August Ill get some cash. Ill open a personal savings account so I can visit Australia and see for myself if I like it. Then Ill go to an interview for an organization that helps with the immigation documents. I am hoping they need a technician like me.
Last time I went, the bf I had then was the one with the points. Now its me the one with the assets. And if bf doesn't want to go to the interview, fine. I am NOT going to stay here complaining, at least I'll try to have a chance for a better life... just like my mom and dad and sis did and keep doing...
And then it will be one family member in Mexico, one in Congo, one in Helsinki and another one in Sydney (or wherever place accepts me as a productive member of its society!)
Curled up in a good book...
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 1,542
Go for it. My brother moved to Australia 6 years ago and hasn't looked back since. He loves it!
At least now we have email and internet telephony to use to keep in touch with family all over the world.
Take care of yourself and do something nice, just for you, today. Being robbed sucks.
At least now we have email and internet telephony to use to keep in touch with family all over the world.
Take care of yourself and do something nice, just for you, today. Being robbed sucks.
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Yesterday i also talked to God and kindly asked him to Please Remove my Toxic ties with XABF and keep healing me because NO I dont know how to do it alone. I need His Help.
I am having nightmares of "them" again.Ok. If they help... ok.
I also recall thinking my friend was with someone else now but I keep remembering the person I left was TOTALLY NOT like the one i want to remember, so it is not "the good F" but someone entirely different. This HELPS me. He is an Unknown stranger now.
I hope its true we get moved to different floors or so. Please please, going NO CONTACT AT ALL for good would be great !!!!!!!!!
Also now that I am talking about ME -skill learned here- do you know I got some books for an IT certificaation? it has been more than 4 years since I plan on becoming certified.
But I thought I was too lazy and stupid. Then I saw reality and noticed I always excel even without studying much !! so I got the books, I am already using mind maps, planning to train others to use mind maps and GO FOR IT!
I would have the latest certification among 30 guys so I am already visualizing the "congratulations email" from my boss, my celebration and myself buying nice professional attires !! I dress too informal. I want to look confident and elegant. I want to learn everything so I can leave sooner.
Ok this was more like a "random updates" post ..
I am having nightmares of "them" again.Ok. If they help... ok.
I also recall thinking my friend was with someone else now but I keep remembering the person I left was TOTALLY NOT like the one i want to remember, so it is not "the good F" but someone entirely different. This HELPS me. He is an Unknown stranger now.
I hope its true we get moved to different floors or so. Please please, going NO CONTACT AT ALL for good would be great !!!!!!!!!
Also now that I am talking about ME -skill learned here- do you know I got some books for an IT certificaation? it has been more than 4 years since I plan on becoming certified.
But I thought I was too lazy and stupid. Then I saw reality and noticed I always excel even without studying much !! so I got the books, I am already using mind maps, planning to train others to use mind maps and GO FOR IT!
I would have the latest certification among 30 guys so I am already visualizing the "congratulations email" from my boss, my celebration and myself buying nice professional attires !! I dress too informal. I want to look confident and elegant. I want to learn everything so I can leave sooner.
Ok this was more like a "random updates" post ..
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Thanks book.. really? yes, all I know shows it is a great place to live in!
What I will do is take my trip and enjoy it, forget EVERYTHING, and visit Monte Alban which is an archeological site. Also tell my mom she is the best mom
if there is a cheap yoga class I'll take it...... drink chocolate... deep breathly....
What I will do is take my trip and enjoy it, forget EVERYTHING, and visit Monte Alban which is an archeological site. Also tell my mom she is the best mom
if there is a cheap yoga class I'll take it...... drink chocolate... deep breathly....
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Welcome here in God's garden, any time you want to hop on down here. Pretty laid back, tho the crap of the outside world is catching up........a few dingos got loose it seems.
Hope you make it here, and you can keep in touch with family and friends same as now.
Feel like taking it easy? No probs, just pull up a comfy chair and relax.
God bless
Hope you make it here, and you can keep in touch with family and friends same as now.
Feel like taking it easy? No probs, just pull up a comfy chair and relax.
God bless
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