SparklingSeven

Been hanging on by my fingernails the last few days. If not for my wife's protestations (helpful) I think I would have drink taken.

It's the weather - I have to find a way of surviving the sunny days. Everywhere you look, people are relaxing in the sun boozing. I know it's not for us but it looks really, really goooooooood!!!

I know it isn't but my mind has been away on those spacey fantasies. It still is. That's why I post, because I am supposed to rather than booze.

So there it is.

intention

It's just started raining here - bloody weather ! ......it may be on it's way to you soon.



I just wondered if you go to AA?

NEOMARXIST

hey Chopper. I posted a post yesterday entitled 'a different kind of buzz'. It was about how days around the pub in the sun used to turn out for me in the past and what I have now.

This genuinely is a case of stick in there and it will inevitably get much easier. Like many things in sobriety time is a great healer. This is all providing you are actively working on your recovery each day, whatever that may entail.

It doesn't really bother me now mate but I am nearly 11 motnhs sober now and my early months were in autumn/winter. They brought there own challenges ie- xmas, NYE etcetc but I can appreciate it's difficult for a recovering alcoholic still very new to sobriety in the summer (when the sun actually shines!! ) Especially the case in UK where drinking culture is huge. YOu walk in the supermarket and the first thing is booze stacked to the ceiling at ridiculously cheap prices.

Don't drink over it mate, it really isn't worth it. I used that excuse the end of last june as I was obsessing over Pear cider but it was the usual story very quickly ie- blackout and alkie behaviour.

Keep sober one day at a time. You're doing the right thing mate. Post instead of drinking!!

The reality is mate that regardless of what program/method you're working there will be times when you just have to keep your head down and get through it mate. Remeber that most people drinking the pubs and gardens aren't alcoholics. They will have 4 or 5 pints and leave it at that. I would just be warming up!

Peace

Kmber2010

I love the sunny weather personally but I do here ya Chopper. Early sobriety does that to us. You will get to that place eventually where it won't affect you as much. I usually occupy myself with a hobby or activity or my favorite place - SR!!! Go to the bookstore and peruse some new reads, go hiking or just take a nice walk, maybe develop a new interest..... ie: photography, sketching, kick boxing....something different.

You are doing great and just take it one day at a time. It will get better.

Taking5

That is just what the alcoholic in you wants to see. Most people are not drinking. Over here it is nice out and they are playing baseball, shopping, fishing, cooking out, running errands they can't do during the work week and just enjoying the weekend.

I'll bet if you look at every single person you see and note what they are doing, less than 5% are drinking. Now if you are taking a stroll through the part of town where there are wall to wall pubs you might get a different %, but you shouldn't be there anyway.

Brucel

Howdy, I hope that euphoric recall of all the GOOD TIMES with booze passes soon for you brother. The BB of AA has a reading in the DRs opinion that summed it up for me. All I could remember was the sence of ease and comfort that came at once by taking a few drinks, drinks I saw others take with impunity. Today I know that is a LIE and I know that to my core. There are groups in England and everywhere where support is given for free and for fun. Good luck bro and God Bless

Kmber2010

I'm 100% with Neo on this!!!

NEOMARXIST

With all respect Chopper has a very valid observation. There is no doubt that on Sunny days in England then drink is at the forefront of people plans. That is the reality. However most aren;t alcoholics but I am. So it ain;t on my agenda and I keep away from it as it ain;t worth wrecking my life over a sunny day. Besides I would want to take it back to a flat/house and get the party properly started anyway. Then end up drinking alone for another couple of days and missing work and getting done drink driving.

Drink is an integral part of sociasing and down-time and recreation in UK. For those that it isn;t then I ain;t got much in common with apart from other alkies and I don't always want to spend time with them.

I empathise with you Chopper but you've just gotta get through it. This is why most people can't stay sober. I remember a guy at AA on my 90 day anniversary talking about losing his sobriety over a beer in the beer garden on a sunny day 10 years ago. He was a great example of someone who I didn't want to be like. That all helped keep me sober. He said to me it wasn't worth it really. It isn't.

I'l just choose sobriety.Hang in there mate. It'l pass. Keep The Faith.

Kmber2010

Heck, imagine living in Germany where drinking is the norm. My landlords are always outside drinking beer, tons of biergartens everywhere and the norm for anyone I know is to go and drink. Like 20 people I know posted on facebook that they are drinking today.

I just got back from dinner and everyone around me was drinking at the restaurant. I of course splurged and had a strawberry lemonade. Take that! lolol

Kerbcrawler

Yes Yes..Another Brit here,who gets this ritual of weekends/sunnydays= Beergardens,
a very english tradition..rest of uk too i guess,the weekends are tough going at times,i empathise here...that awful habitual feeling of missing out on the party.. its for me the sat/sun especially,when time slows up,and i get that time to idle and think drink..of old habit thoughts..missin out on nothin worth havin...hang in there..

Draciack

Chopper, I feel for you. I live on a college campus where drinking at 2PM is a perfectly reasonable and expected thing to do. I just remind myself that I never could drink like the normal folks anyway and go along my merry way. Sobering up in the summer heat has to be the worst feeling anyway. Ugh.

Keep on posting. SR helped me remain sober tons of times.

SparklingSeven

Thank you all so much!!

SO much sense being talked - what an idiot I have been - like a mental case. You are all so right. It's all in the head now and it is a sneaky sneaky barsteward! I know at some point I must have let the train of though start - then indulged it. I was away with the fairies there! I was chatting things through with my wife and asked her if she would leave me if I drank, she said "I might" I responded - might? Immediately thinking, well there's a chance she wont!! All for the sake of something that has lost me so much.

Feel kind of stupid reading your responses becasue I understand all these things and could articulate them to others - just impossible at times to direct this at myself.

I have been and got crisps and sweets and some pop and have been filling up.

I can't tell you what this support means. I came on to see if anyone had read this yet and there were 10 replies! So good to have this right here, now. You all know exactly what it's like and are there when needed. Cheers!!

No drink for me today. And that's enough right now, eh?

Stu.

SparklingSeven

Also it's good to hear it does get easier, I am only 4 month sober (on Tuesday gone) so it's still very early days.

NEOMARXIST

Nice one mate!!!!!!!!! That is more than enough yes indeed!! Plus this will all strengthen your sobriety.

I bet you will be feeling great now for days and days; full of gratitude and clarity of thought and strength. I know that was how I felt after some really tough times. You realise how precious your sobriety is and how easy it can be stripped from you.

You did the right thing 'telling' on yourself before you picked up. Imagine if you had of kept it to yourself and in your own alcoholic head. You would probably be sitting drinking wondering WTF happened. Imagine when the booze was wearing off? Doesn't bear thinking about really does it mate?

Nice one. No drinking 'just for today'.

Peace