I can't believe...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 689
I can't believe...
...i'm still feeling like this.
When I respond to threads it actually gives me a feeling of calm, power and rememberance to be grateful that I am removed from it all. And I am grateful.
After leaving my 2 cents on Jenny's thread (girl, I understand how you feel!) I felt good.
As most know, I have moved. Thank goodness!! It's great, so far away from it all, and my only stress is waiting to hear about a job. That's a big stress, but i'm grateful for all else!
Even being so far removed, I have been caged mentally. Still in that obsessive place over him. Wondering if they have broken up, knowing they recently had problems...etc etc.
He had unblocked me from Facebook the day I left. I really didn't put too much thought into why, but it definitely brought me back to that place to keep going to his page and looking. Almost like its ok to do since I am so far away.
But it's kept me locked to him, when I have wanted so much to forget about the pain, learn from it and move on...here I am.
I just tried to ignore the fact otherwise. I didn't want to block him b/c I didn't want to still give a reaction; I wanted to prove that I was strong enough to not have it bother me, I wanted to just go on with my life like he wasn't there, but he is....and mostly, I wanted to keep that line open where he could send me an email apologizing for the hurt, telling me how much I meant to him, and how awful his life has been. Yep.
When I looked at that final motivation for not blocking him, I had to re-evaluate. I've played it out in my head. What would I say if I got that. And why would it matter when I have said and made clear that this person is someone who hurt me so much that I do not ever want him in my life again.
I went this morning and looked at some of his pictures. The pictures of him in the past....the pics of the man who I fell in love with who wasn't real. I broke down in tears. That was enough.
I blocked him.
When I respond to threads it actually gives me a feeling of calm, power and rememberance to be grateful that I am removed from it all. And I am grateful.
After leaving my 2 cents on Jenny's thread (girl, I understand how you feel!) I felt good.
As most know, I have moved. Thank goodness!! It's great, so far away from it all, and my only stress is waiting to hear about a job. That's a big stress, but i'm grateful for all else!
Even being so far removed, I have been caged mentally. Still in that obsessive place over him. Wondering if they have broken up, knowing they recently had problems...etc etc.
He had unblocked me from Facebook the day I left. I really didn't put too much thought into why, but it definitely brought me back to that place to keep going to his page and looking. Almost like its ok to do since I am so far away.
But it's kept me locked to him, when I have wanted so much to forget about the pain, learn from it and move on...here I am.
I just tried to ignore the fact otherwise. I didn't want to block him b/c I didn't want to still give a reaction; I wanted to prove that I was strong enough to not have it bother me, I wanted to just go on with my life like he wasn't there, but he is....and mostly, I wanted to keep that line open where he could send me an email apologizing for the hurt, telling me how much I meant to him, and how awful his life has been. Yep.
When I looked at that final motivation for not blocking him, I had to re-evaluate. I've played it out in my head. What would I say if I got that. And why would it matter when I have said and made clear that this person is someone who hurt me so much that I do not ever want him in my life again.
I went this morning and looked at some of his pictures. The pictures of him in the past....the pics of the man who I fell in love with who wasn't real. I broke down in tears. That was enough.
I blocked him.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 685
Originally Posted by Kittyboo 
...i'm still feeling like this.
When I respond to threads it actually gives me a feeling of calm, power and rememberance to be grateful that I am removed from it all. And I am grateful.
After leaving my 2 cents on Jenny's thread (girl, I understand how you feel!) I felt good.
He had unblocked me from Facebook the day I left. I really didn't put too much thought into why, but it definitely brought me back to that place to keep going to his page and looking. Almost like its ok to do since I am so far away.
I just tried to ignore the fact otherwise. I didn't want to block him b/c I didn't want to still give a reaction; I wanted to prove that I was strong enough to not have it bother me, I wanted to just go on with my life like he wasn't there, but he is....and mostly, I wanted to keep that line open where he could send me an email apologizing for the hurt, telling me how much I meant to him, and how awful his life has been. Yep.
When I looked at that final motivation for not blocking him, I had to re-evaluate. I've played it out in my head. What would I say if I got that. And why would it matter when I have said and made clear that this person is someone who hurt me so much that I do not ever want him in my life again.
I went this morning and looked at some of his pictures. The pictures of him in the past....the pics of the man who I fell in love with who wasn't real. I broke down in tears. That was enough.
I blocked him.
When I respond to threads it actually gives me a feeling of calm, power and rememberance to be grateful that I am removed from it all. And I am grateful.
After leaving my 2 cents on Jenny's thread (girl, I understand how you feel!) I felt good.
He had unblocked me from Facebook the day I left. I really didn't put too much thought into why, but it definitely brought me back to that place to keep going to his page and looking. Almost like its ok to do since I am so far away.
I just tried to ignore the fact otherwise. I didn't want to block him b/c I didn't want to still give a reaction; I wanted to prove that I was strong enough to not have it bother me, I wanted to just go on with my life like he wasn't there, but he is....and mostly, I wanted to keep that line open where he could send me an email apologizing for the hurt, telling me how much I meant to him, and how awful his life has been. Yep.
When I looked at that final motivation for not blocking him, I had to re-evaluate. I've played it out in my head. What would I say if I got that. And why would it matter when I have said and made clear that this person is someone who hurt me so much that I do not ever want him in my life again.
I went this morning and looked at some of his pictures. The pictures of him in the past....the pics of the man who I fell in love with who wasn't real. I broke down in tears. That was enough.
I blocked him.
Actually, I'm fighting that battle too of blocking him. I've kept him unblocked, so I can see an apology letter. BUT.. it only keeps you hanging on to false hope! Thank you for now encouraging me to go ahead and block him!
Go you, I know what a huge step that is!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 689
Jenny, if my circumstance in any way motivated to you to block your ex, then my recent realization served a greater purpose 
Block him, and know that it is something we are doing together, and if I can do it, you can do it, and visa versa.
Block him, and know that it is something we are doing together, and if I can do it, you can do it, and visa versa.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Where the sun always shines!
Posts: 1,625
Obsession is a very hard habit to break. Lost, lonely feelings eat at us and tear us up. Don't be too hard on yourself, this is all part of the healing process. Fake it till you make it. and if you decide to unblock him, stay strong. one day you will be able to feel happy for him and you will be happy for you too!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 689
I don't have the anger towards him that I once had. I don't wish bad for him, I don't wish pain for him..... I just want for him to be a distant memory at this point. There is no reason for him to be otherwise.
I am happy for me. I am happy with the opportunities in life I have. But I am not happy to still miss someone who was never honest or true with me. Hence, why no contact is really no contact....in all ways.
I am happy for me. I am happy with the opportunities in life I have. But I am not happy to still miss someone who was never honest or true with me. Hence, why no contact is really no contact....in all ways.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 218
Ah, Kitty - I want to give you a hug.
FB is the pits. In fact, technology has pretty much given anyone obsessing over a relationship the tools to stay stuck indefinitely. Google earth means we can even look at their street online if we want to. It's horrible. Remember the days before caller ID, even - when getting a call on a landline or an actual letter was the only way to communicate? Much easier.
I struggled with whether to "de-friend" my ex - I started with de-friending his friends (who I didn't know very well) and then worked up to the biggie after doing some flapping/venting on the boards. It was tough. I looked at his public profile a little while after I had done that (because I'm a glutton for punishment) and thank God none of his stuff is public.
Hang in there, I'm sorry that it made you sad and I'm sending you a hug.
SL
FB is the pits. In fact, technology has pretty much given anyone obsessing over a relationship the tools to stay stuck indefinitely. Google earth means we can even look at their street online if we want to. It's horrible. Remember the days before caller ID, even - when getting a call on a landline or an actual letter was the only way to communicate? Much easier.
I struggled with whether to "de-friend" my ex - I started with de-friending his friends (who I didn't know very well) and then worked up to the biggie after doing some flapping/venting on the boards. It was tough. I looked at his public profile a little while after I had done that (because I'm a glutton for punishment) and thank God none of his stuff is public.
Hang in there, I'm sorry that it made you sad and I'm sending you a hug.
SL
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Kittyboo, whenever I have been in this type of situation I have later looked back and realized upon self reflection and evaluation that I left the door open only for the fact that I still wanted him to fulfill some emotional need of mine. In reality, the only one who can fill that need is you, with the help ofyour Higher Power. That is all just a simple matter of growing, which we ALL have to go thru if we are to self-actualize. The obsession begins with an unmet emotional need. Grow yourself and fill that need. It is the most amazing feeling in the world to go thru this process. I am glad this opportunity has been granted to you. Don't let your pain be had in vain.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 545
Originally Posted by Kittyboo
He had unblocked me from Facebook the day I left. I really didn't put too much thought into why, but it definitely brought me back to that place to keep going to his page and looking. Almost like its ok to do since I am so far away.
...
But it's kept me locked to him, when I have wanted so much to forget about the pain, learn from it and move on...here I am.
...
But it's kept me locked to him, when I have wanted so much to forget about the pain, learn from it and move on...here I am.
Another great reason for YOU to reclaim your power... and block it YOURSELF!
:ghug3
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
