linjacjen

It's day 4 without a drink and although I have been back to AA a few times this week, I don't want to walk into my home group tonight and once again raise my hand and say I have four days back. I am so sick of myself and how many times I have done this, I don't want to drink tonight, but I also don't want to get off the couch. I am a coward.

cloud8

Thanks for your post, and congrats on not drinking today, I too have rlapsed several times,,Had 5 years back in the 80s, then put 1 year together twice,,after that i went back out again and i swore i would never go back to aa and i didnt i stayed out there for 20 some years,,and now ive got almost 3 years sober and clean.

yes i go to mettings,,and yes sometimes i dont,,but i do contact a person in recovery everday,,and i post here once in awhile, i also have freinds from when i was sober before that are still sober today that i call, i do alot more now then i did at first, it got better with time,,all i know is dont drink no matter what,,talk to another person in recovery everday, and more will be revealed..
\
good for you oh and i went to na also,,it helped was able to get another perspective,,being i had drug problems as well i fit right in,,

stick around,,thanks for the post

KINGOFNEWYORK

You are NOT a coward...Don't Drink...Nothing is written that you HAVE to go to the meeting...go for a walk...learn to juggle...keep reading my posts...play Monkey Diving in the Arcade,I got the 15th highest score working on getting that record...Game is about Monkeys that wind up in the Drink...Hmmm, sounds like me!! LOL... go fishing without any bait, rearrange the furniture...4 days is a LOT braver than the person who just drinks in my book. Peace....oh and smile, its contagious.

linjacjen

Thanks guys. Well, I do have step 1 work I could start writting out - about how I am powerless over alcohol and my life unmanageable.

artsoul

That's a great idea..... I know it helped me immensely to read post after post here at SR during that first week. Everything I read told me I was just like everyone else here, which meant it would only get worse if I continued to entertain thoughts of drinking. Do anything.... just get through today! You can do it this time!

Lenina

lin,

That sounds like a really good idea. Work on Step One.

Love,

Lenina

Anna

Hi,

I think it's not helpful to dump on yourself.

Do whatever it takes for you to do, in order to stay sober today. That's what matters. It's about what you do to help yourself and to care for yourself.

linjacjen

Yes, I need to be gentle with myself tonight - it would have been my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and that relationship is over, so I am in mourning. Sober........but in mourning.

Dream2bClean

i dont know what its worth but I always heard when you dont feel like going is when you really need to go.

I also know from personal experience that in this past week that I havee been going a couple of the best meetings I have been to that have been the most bebeficial for me have been those that I thought I didnt want to be at when it started.

Have a good evening just dont drink is the most important...

<3 Dream

AtlasMcGee

I've heard that the most important times to go to meetings is when you absolutely do not want to. Think of it as our addiction trying to sucker us back in & fight back
Best of luck linjacjen! Hope you find the courage to change the things you can

AtlasMcGee

repeat repeat...sorry D2bC, shouldn't have jumped the gun & read posts first , but HEY! there ya have it...haha