The Gift
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
The Gift
I used to describe the last year or so that I spent with Richard, my deceased alcoholic boyfriend, as the worst days of my life. Now I describe it as the best days of my life. I realize now that it was gift. The gift was the journey and all that I learned about myself, others, and life along the way and the realization that I am strong and independent and I can handle anything that life throws my way with grace and dignity.
For all of those here who are struggling with alcoholism in your family, think of this time as your gift.
For all of those here who are struggling with alcoholism in your family, think of this time as your gift.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Southwest
Posts: 1,207
I know exactly what you mean.
I can't believe I was lucky enough to have my AH walk out on the chidlren and me on vacation.
And I really do see it that way. The change in perspective alone is a gift.
I can't believe I was lucky enough to have my AH walk out on the chidlren and me on vacation.
And I really do see it that way. The change in perspective alone is a gift.
Recovering Nicely
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 935
(((FormerDoormat))) Thank you for this post today. This past year has been really rough on me. RAH left me in Sept., blew all his IRA money, left me w/unpaid bills, etc. Around that same time, CPS places AD's two girls with me cause of her addiction, so two more mouths to feed, no money ... but we all made it thru! Older son (who lives with me) got dream job, helped with the bills and food, RAH got 3 dwi's and went to jail for a short time (now on probation, but is sober and working a program) and moved back home 4 mos. ago, and yesterday I finally got permanent custody of my two granddaughters (AD still hasn't gotten it together yet). And the thing I realized thru it all was that everything happens for a reason, and I can handle whatever comes my way as long as I have faith, and this past year has been the most amazing journey for me. I am so grateful for my "gift"! Thanks again for this post!
Recovering Nicely
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 935
My RAH was sober for over 15 years without a single relapse, so I thought I was quite happy without my most recent gift of the past few years. But now, I realize, I am much happier and would not change a thing! Everything happens for a reason!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Yes, even if we don't know why at the time, later on and further along the track, we may see that reason, clear as a bell.
This year has been wonderfully stress free, but last year and the few before....
Man, I didn't know my head from my heels, and often told my HP, "Lord, I trust you know what the plan is, because I sure don't have a clue".
God bless
This year has been wonderfully stress free, but last year and the few before....
Man, I didn't know my head from my heels, and often told my HP, "Lord, I trust you know what the plan is, because I sure don't have a clue".
God bless
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: back from the brink
Posts: 457
Positive way to look at it I guess.
I didn't see it that way, but rather the consequences for making the choice. Looking back, little red flags came up that I refused to heed. We are given "free will" - and I ignored those red flags, and then had to walk that road. My "gift" came at the end of that road, where I realized it was time to get off that road and take another! It was quite a hike!
I didn't see it that way, but rather the consequences for making the choice. Looking back, little red flags came up that I refused to heed. We are given "free will" - and I ignored those red flags, and then had to walk that road. My "gift" came at the end of that road, where I realized it was time to get off that road and take another! It was quite a hike!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 545
For me... a gift too.
I learned more about myself in the course of the past two years than all my life before then. I realized what I was really made of... how much I was willing to tolerate in my codie sickness and WILL NEVER TOLERATE again.
I learned to pay attention to the "lil red flags"... will save me much trouble in the future.
I learned that I cannot save anyone but myself.
A gift indeed.
I learned more about myself in the course of the past two years than all my life before then. I realized what I was really made of... how much I was willing to tolerate in my codie sickness and WILL NEVER TOLERATE again.
I learned to pay attention to the "lil red flags"... will save me much trouble in the future.
I learned that I cannot save anyone but myself.
A gift indeed.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 167
I have been at Al-Anon meetings where people say they were grateful that they met their alcoholic. I couldn't fathom why anyone would say that. I was grateful that I had come to Al-Anon but I figured if I had never met an alcoholic, I would never have needed it.
In time with more recovery I have come to the point where I feel as if I like myself, that I will be ok no matter what happens in life, I can use things internal to me to feel happy. These are gifts that working the steps has given me. I know that before meeting my alcoholic I did not like myself. I don't think this shift would have happened without a trust in my higher power.
In time with more recovery I have come to the point where I feel as if I like myself, that I will be ok no matter what happens in life, I can use things internal to me to feel happy. These are gifts that working the steps has given me. I know that before meeting my alcoholic I did not like myself. I don't think this shift would have happened without a trust in my higher power.
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