littlewheel2

Day 2 (again) for me. So embarrassed and sad for relapsing so easily:

I snapped after work on Wednesday night (a bad run in with the boss and further hostility now in store at work every day as a result of sticking up for myself)...in short I felt sorry for myself and took the "easy" route of wine to calm down...BAD IDEA. I was going so well on my 6th day sober...

I know I should not let issues/fights get to me; but I just thought: "One wine with dinner and it will calm me down" bad idea. I drank the whole bottle.

The next morning I went straight to a different doctor (mine told me to quit cold turkey) and told him I was stressed to the max at work and how much I'd been drinking every night.

I've never had it before but have read since that it will help me in this first week of drying out: he gave me a script for Valium- really low dose- to get me through withdrawals again this week. So, I have found that the terrible all over muscle cramps, jaw cramps and jitters are non-existant because of the valium. It is helping a great deal. I am not aching all over and screwed up in a tense twisted ball when I wake up in the morning.

I've read about medical de-tox and valium is used there. I can see why. I hope I'm doing the right thing. I seem to be in a much less anxious/on-edge/ready to use state than last week when I was cold turkey detoxing...any advice on this is welcome...nor do I have the terrible blood pressure and racing heart...

I won't drink tonight. I don't feel like it. I think this will work for me. I taper off the valium in about a week.

Day 3 tomorrow.

Wish me luck. A bit of a stumble, but i'm trying to learn from my mistakes.

LW

betterlate

Good luck littlewheel2!

OZboy

..ya watch out for those dang 'triggers'..

..but keep tryin' n postin'....3 days will be great..

MariahG

Don't give up! You can do it! Lots of hugs and thoughts!!! :day6

Starburst

Never mind LW, no one is perfect, that is why you are here, so when you fall we will lift you up, and I am glad you changed doctors. Going cold turkey is definately not the way to go

I am sure you will be much better with the new script and able to relax a bit better.

Thinking of you.

Grace2

At least you didn't give up. You came back and that is something to be proud of. What happened to you could happen to any one of us. Keep focused, xxx

Margareth

Yeah

Kmber2010

I'm glad you are back and do your best to have a plan in place for when any "trigger" comes up. Dealing with life sober is a bit shocking at first which is why support is so key. We have to make changes within ourself and in our life. Sobriety is a whole "new" you and I am so glad you are back at it. Learn from your relapse and be proactive in your recovery.

I quit cold turkey and the withdrawals sucked but if you have a med that is helping then great. Keep in mind that once you are off the valium that you will need to make changes to handle all of life's ups and downs.

All the Best!!

Toronto68

Realizing what went wrong is a good sign to me. The reaction to resort to a drink for any reason. And then there is also the issue of how to deal with something unpleasant right when it is happening. There's a process that goes off in the brain, and it's been interesting to observe it in me when something begins to challenge me - at least I think I am capable of observing it. I suppose the mantra "progress, not perfection" would apply here, if it does any good.

ImagineMe

I agree with the others. In The Big Book, it clearly explains the triggers that lead to a relaspe or slip. I think the key is to look at how you feel and act when you drink and how you feel the day after.
There will come a point where you will finally just give up and stop fighting the fact that you can no longer drink.

BobGT

Hey lw2,

I know it's a downer to start over again since I did it more times than I want to admit. But keep in mind the sober days still happened. Try to use what you learned to be more successful this time. Hang in there. Coming back and posting shows that you're working hard on overcoming this addiction.

Best wishes.

Dee74

I'm glad you're back with us LW

D

Starburst

Evening LW, how did your day go today? have been thinking about you and Im proud you were abe to try again, try and try again, NEVER give up. We are all here for you. (((HUGS)))

Starburst

No matter how dejected you feel, if you count your blessings you will always see a profit (Neville Talbot).