Last Weekend
today4me
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 311
Last Weekend
I wanted to post how my faith, hope and love in life was snatched from me last weekend. As many of you know - I was strong last week, very strong! The sole reason was I was connected to HP. Whenever I doubted - I read the Word. Whenever I wanted to snoop - I read the Word. Every single time I was provided comfort and on this path HP has set me on. It was easy.
Then, the weekend came. I was golfing with old friends out of town. There was drinking, swearing, women, etc. I saw it all and observed. There was lusting though on my part. During this time I never read the bible once and hardly even prayed. I came home and snooped online and was devasted. Anxiety set in and I immediately signed up for a dating service. Then as I was looking at pictures I said to myself "this is wrong, you don't want any of these women. Stop what your doing and just have patience and let it come to you."
What I realized though, is I can't just flick a switch. I have let my fleshly desires go and enable HP to provide to me what is right and in time. It's hard, very hard to not want to speed down this path I'm on or hitchhike. However, walking down this path I'm on is enabling me to feel wonderful about myself. So, day one again - of being on this path. Thank you to all of you for continuing to care for me. Love you all!
Then, the weekend came. I was golfing with old friends out of town. There was drinking, swearing, women, etc. I saw it all and observed. There was lusting though on my part. During this time I never read the bible once and hardly even prayed. I came home and snooped online and was devasted. Anxiety set in and I immediately signed up for a dating service. Then as I was looking at pictures I said to myself "this is wrong, you don't want any of these women. Stop what your doing and just have patience and let it come to you."
What I realized though, is I can't just flick a switch. I have let my fleshly desires go and enable HP to provide to me what is right and in time. It's hard, very hard to not want to speed down this path I'm on or hitchhike. However, walking down this path I'm on is enabling me to feel wonderful about myself. So, day one again - of being on this path. Thank you to all of you for continuing to care for me. Love you all!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
you have found what works well for you, tpen. a good reminder of what happens when we don't stay grounded!
for what it's worth, i believe that we all have it in our nature to - as you called it - lust.
this is what the creator put inside us as part of our humanity. i don't think it's an ugly thing but the question comes into when we are to act upon it. in my value system it is when we are in a loving and committed relationship. just bristled a little when i heard that word - it has negative connotations.
for what it's worth, i believe that we all have it in our nature to - as you called it - lust.
this is what the creator put inside us as part of our humanity. i don't think it's an ugly thing but the question comes into when we are to act upon it. in my value system it is when we are in a loving and committed relationship. just bristled a little when i heard that word - it has negative connotations.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
tpen, don't beat yourself up too much. You stepped off your path and forgot what you need to keep yourself walking. None of us are perfect and expecting to be perfect is a set-up for failure (talking to myself here about expectations).
You're back on your path and as coffeedrinker said, you now have clearer idea of what works for you.
You're back on your path and as coffeedrinker said, you now have clearer idea of what works for you.
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