I really do feel like the only (want-to-be) sober college student.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: new jersey
Posts: 11
I really do feel like the only (want-to-be) sober college student.
Hi all, I'm new here -- as if you couldn't tell by my post count.
I feel like the title of this thread is pretty self-explanatory. But since you all don't know me I'll give you background:
Friends and family have convinced me that I don't have a drug problem because the only drug I've used multiple times daily for years is weed. I've spent a year or so of my life frequently using ecstasy, as I was apparently unable to entertain myself without a drug. I've tried everything short of heroin and crack, though I've never smoked meth.
Truly, I have a love affair with pot, MDMA, and pain pills (percocet, vicodin, oxys, xanax, really anything). I had quit ecstasy September of 09 but I really miss it, or really the feeling I had when I was high. But not smoking weed is the toughest. It's the one thing I did before and after every activity be it eating, reading, studying, partying, sleeping, what have you. I was stoned all day every day.
I had been sober for 6 weeks (would have been 7 this coming saturday) but I'm here now because I slipped up last night at a party I went to. I told my boyfriend, who is also in recovery, I wouldn't smoke because I don't want to. I always argued I could drink though because I never had much of a problem drinking (which is far from true, but I'm still realizing this) and always fought with him about being around people who would drink and smoke. I was never tempted by my friends, and I do get some sort of kick out of putting myself in tough situations. So I got moderately drunk last night, fought with my boyfriend on the phone for an hour (who said I 'either had been drinking or am just a jerk') and took two pulls on a blunt after working so hard for 6 weeks.
My boyfriend doesn't know, but now I feel like I'm back at square one. I have a drug counselor through my University and naturally, I was hungover and slept through my appointment this morning. Great.
I tried finding support groups for sober college students but there aren't many.
So, now I've been sober a little under 24 hours. I feel like I want to rant and rave about my life, my family, my relationships, my stresses, and all that -- but it's a lot to get into for a single post.
So, phew. All that being said, I really look forward to talking to you guys. I've read a lot of posts on here and you are all so supportive and positive I'm excited to get your guys' help and hopefully help others.
- lucyford.
I feel like the title of this thread is pretty self-explanatory. But since you all don't know me I'll give you background:
Friends and family have convinced me that I don't have a drug problem because the only drug I've used multiple times daily for years is weed. I've spent a year or so of my life frequently using ecstasy, as I was apparently unable to entertain myself without a drug. I've tried everything short of heroin and crack, though I've never smoked meth.
Truly, I have a love affair with pot, MDMA, and pain pills (percocet, vicodin, oxys, xanax, really anything). I had quit ecstasy September of 09 but I really miss it, or really the feeling I had when I was high. But not smoking weed is the toughest. It's the one thing I did before and after every activity be it eating, reading, studying, partying, sleeping, what have you. I was stoned all day every day.
I had been sober for 6 weeks (would have been 7 this coming saturday) but I'm here now because I slipped up last night at a party I went to. I told my boyfriend, who is also in recovery, I wouldn't smoke because I don't want to. I always argued I could drink though because I never had much of a problem drinking (which is far from true, but I'm still realizing this) and always fought with him about being around people who would drink and smoke. I was never tempted by my friends, and I do get some sort of kick out of putting myself in tough situations. So I got moderately drunk last night, fought with my boyfriend on the phone for an hour (who said I 'either had been drinking or am just a jerk') and took two pulls on a blunt after working so hard for 6 weeks.
My boyfriend doesn't know, but now I feel like I'm back at square one. I have a drug counselor through my University and naturally, I was hungover and slept through my appointment this morning. Great.
I tried finding support groups for sober college students but there aren't many.
So, now I've been sober a little under 24 hours. I feel like I want to rant and rave about my life, my family, my relationships, my stresses, and all that -- but it's a lot to get into for a single post.
So, phew. All that being said, I really look forward to talking to you guys. I've read a lot of posts on here and you are all so supportive and positive I'm excited to get your guys' help and hopefully help others.
- lucyford.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Hi Lucyford
I used to be a pot smoker too and I remember how prevalent it was at Uni/college and in my social circle (I was a musician).
The thing was, I doubt most of my friends depended on it like I did.
It was the first thing I did when I woke up...smoked through the day as much as my finances would allow, which was usually pretty much fulltime...used it for everything - to be creative, to relax, to find courage, to be sociable, to got to sleep, to wake up....
Even after I stopped smoking it regularly, I didn't learn my lesson - I went on to do exactly the same things with booze. I eventually quit both pot and booze in 07
Going 6 weeks was great, you didn't lose that time - look at whatever it was made you smoke again, factor that in, and try again
You'll find a lot of people here who understand, and a lot of support.
Welcome to SR!
D
I used to be a pot smoker too and I remember how prevalent it was at Uni/college and in my social circle (I was a musician).
The thing was, I doubt most of my friends depended on it like I did.
It was the first thing I did when I woke up...smoked through the day as much as my finances would allow, which was usually pretty much fulltime...used it for everything - to be creative, to relax, to find courage, to be sociable, to got to sleep, to wake up....
Even after I stopped smoking it regularly, I didn't learn my lesson - I went on to do exactly the same things with booze. I eventually quit both pot and booze in 07
Going 6 weeks was great, you didn't lose that time - look at whatever it was made you smoke again, factor that in, and try again
You'll find a lot of people here who understand, and a lot of support.
Welcome to SR!
D
New Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 162
I graduated in August, but I did everything you did in college. Except I didn't meddle into pills a whole bunch. However, I was a big fan of ecstasy--my roommate & I would have rolling parties, until I got paranoid about it really affecting my brain. She's still out there throwing down like most college students, but let me tell you something--I think it's pretty cool that we're figuring out where we are & what we don't want to end up like at a young age. I'm not looking for proof that things can get worse to enable a decision. Congrats on maturity & let it out
You found a good place to rant & rave, to do what you do to get you through this time.
Welcome & I hope you stick around
You found a good place to rant & rave, to do what you do to get you through this time.
Welcome & I hope you stick around
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Hi there. I am probably of a similar age to you. I am 24 now and got sober when I was 23.
I am an alcoholic. I also had a love affair with Ecstacy, Cocaine, BZP, LSD. I also used to smoke a fair bit of weed from 16-20 but then I really got into E's, BZP and Coke so I just used those where I would have previously smoked weed. Grew out of love with weed as I just wanted instant euphoric high and no monging out. I used booze as my main choice throughout my binges. I would start with booze, drink during and then use booze as the downer to knock me out.
My drinking and drug binges were destroying my life and I progressed into being a very obvious alcoholic. I started drinking as soon as I woke up and would binge continually for 2/3 days blacking out through most of it. I lost my driving license, my job, my self-respect and my mental health.
I had to admit I was an alcoholic, but I am also a drug addict too.
I have managed to rebuid what I had lost over the past 10 months and the thought of being a 'college' (University) student in recovery from alcoholism does not phase me anymore. Quite the opposite in fact as I was a total f*ck-head the last time so I have the experince of knowing both sides.
I had to get sober or else I would have probably been dead within 5 years as I could see my alcoholism progressing quickly and my mental health/mood going down lower and lower.
I had to make many changes in my life to remain sober but it is worth it. I have to treat my sobriety as the most important thing in my life on a daily basis. I know if I ever forget that then I'm in trouble as without my sobriety then I would lose everything very fast.
If you're an addict then total abstinance really is the only way imo. I bet if you hadn't have drank then you wouldn't have had those puffs on that blunt. I know that for me I would always do drugs when I was drinking as my self-control would be lessened and I would want to increase the buzz.
I had to toally give up booze and then the drugs aren't an issue to me really. It may be the other way round for you but like I say I'm an alcoholic.
Good to hear from you. All The Best x
I am an alcoholic. I also had a love affair with Ecstacy, Cocaine, BZP, LSD. I also used to smoke a fair bit of weed from 16-20 but then I really got into E's, BZP and Coke so I just used those where I would have previously smoked weed. Grew out of love with weed as I just wanted instant euphoric high and no monging out. I used booze as my main choice throughout my binges. I would start with booze, drink during and then use booze as the downer to knock me out.
My drinking and drug binges were destroying my life and I progressed into being a very obvious alcoholic. I started drinking as soon as I woke up and would binge continually for 2/3 days blacking out through most of it. I lost my driving license, my job, my self-respect and my mental health.
I had to admit I was an alcoholic, but I am also a drug addict too.
I have managed to rebuid what I had lost over the past 10 months and the thought of being a 'college' (University) student in recovery from alcoholism does not phase me anymore. Quite the opposite in fact as I was a total f*ck-head the last time so I have the experince of knowing both sides.
I had to get sober or else I would have probably been dead within 5 years as I could see my alcoholism progressing quickly and my mental health/mood going down lower and lower.
I had to make many changes in my life to remain sober but it is worth it. I have to treat my sobriety as the most important thing in my life on a daily basis. I know if I ever forget that then I'm in trouble as without my sobriety then I would lose everything very fast.
If you're an addict then total abstinance really is the only way imo. I bet if you hadn't have drank then you wouldn't have had those puffs on that blunt. I know that for me I would always do drugs when I was drinking as my self-control would be lessened and I would want to increase the buzz.
I had to toally give up booze and then the drugs aren't an issue to me really. It may be the other way round for you but like I say I'm an alcoholic.
Good to hear from you. All The Best x
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 142
Hey there. I am new here too, but I just want to say that I am amazed that you young folks have/had the awareness to even recognize that you HAVE a problem. I think back to when I was in college (um..20 years ago, ouch), everyone was into excess, or so I thought, because I was just as drunk as everyone at all the frat parties and with my sorority sisters, wasted was the norm. I really didn't think about it because even if you "assed out" at an event, you would feel shame for a nano-second, then everyone would laugh about it and then someone else would do something worse, and then they were the topic of the day. Severely unhealthy... Didn't really see that then, and now realize that I was attracted to my ex husband after graduating as HE was a huge drinker and I wanted the party to continue. Wasn't until after we were married I realized that his parents were alcoholics. His Dad had seizures a few when he tried to quit, it ultimately killed him. I will never forget my ex mother-in-law actually rationing out Jack Daniels with a measuring cup to give him hourly so that he wouldn't go into major detox..
It was so tragic and bizarre to me..
I digress...all I can say is good for you for taking the step that you are- and doing it now. Stopping surrounding yourself with people and places that enable you to think that you are just doing what "everyone" is doing is a start. Not everyone is!!
hanks for sharing and stay strong!
Pork
It was so tragic and bizarre to me..
I digress...all I can say is good for you for taking the step that you are- and doing it now. Stopping surrounding yourself with people and places that enable you to think that you are just doing what "everyone" is doing is a start. Not everyone is!!
hanks for sharing and stay strong!
Pork
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