Summerpeach

I find Al Anon meetings a little intimidating at times. I think it's a big reason why I never try many different groups.
The round table format almost forces one to participate and interact. It's almost a social thing.
Which is great but there are times I just wish some al anon groups had the AA format where you can just walk in, sit down and listen. No reading, no socializing, just in and out.

Is it against Al Anon rules to have the AA format of meetings? Are there meetings like this out there?

BuffaloGal

Yes-- I'm not big on the round table format myself. Of the meetings I've attended in my area, they've been about half "speak up if you want" type, and half "go around the circle" type. Even in the round table ones, though, there's usually a few who say they just want to listen that night, and pass.

TooMuchSunShine

Peach, I've never been to the round table kind. I hope you find one you like, both perspectives is SO helpful to me. :-)

MissFixit

Do you always have to hold hands and do the end thing?

alanonicnov2008

You can just go to AA meetings!

I find the Al Anon meetings a lot more intimate, that's what I like about them. The people in these meetings often have a lot of depth.

AA tends to be more like a party.

coffeedrinker

at my meeting, there is never pressure or an expectation for each person to talk. i hope you find a good fit.

Ceres

The Alanon meetings I've been to here are almost identical to AA meetings. Same readings pretty much in the beginning. Only difference I noticed was how much more calm the participants seemed. :-) I think they drink less coffee too.

Summerpeach

Yes, but AA meetings I've been too, do this as well.

Summerpeach

interesting. I doubt there is one in my area like this. I'm told they are all pretty much the same

Summerpeach

I do, but AA meetings are only geared to addicts. Unless there is an Al anon speaker.

It's nice to have the intimate connection, but there are some days, I just can't socialize because I'm too tired.

AA like a party? Never see that

Summerpeach

There is no pressure in my home group, but there are times, I just don't/can't hear everyone reading/talking/sharing. No one is forced to talk in my group, but in the round table setting, you sort of have to participate.

My home group is a great fit, just would like to find one where I can kind of walk in, sit and not even get noticed.

evmdimples

Re: sharing: in 12-step meetings I've attended I've not felt obligated to share if I didn't want to, even in roundtable format.

How about cross-talk? The no crosstalk rule is VERY important in CoDA recovery meetings (where I started my work). I'm finding there is crosstalk in AA and Al-Anon. Is this normal?

drgnfly30

I agree you just need to find the right fit.

Plus, no one is there to judge, if you don't feel like sharing, don't. Or if it's truly a roundtable (I've never been to one like that), simply say "Pass".

If the circle at the end is uncomfortable for you, just leave. There is a lady who regularly attends my home meeting. She always comes in after we recite the steps & traditions and leaves before the circle.

Remember you only need to take what you want & leave the rest. I would say that it applies to the meeting format as well!!

I much prefer my Alanon meeting to my RAH's AA meetings. Mine is so much more serene and comforting. Not a week goes by that RAH doesnt come in the door & mention a fight that broke out or even the cops being called!

Summerpeach

I like the cross-talk, that is the "meat and potatoes" for me.
Our group does allows cross talk and this is really where I get the most out of the group.
I can read the steps, the traditions and the books on my own. I need to hear war stories and solutions.

Summerpeach

camo does bring out my eyes ;-)

Yes, I am never shy and have said "pass" on many days. That's all good, but I think for me, it's each person going around reading then their share.
I will do both when I've not had a long day, but there are days I just want to listen to speakers.

I've been to quite a few AA meetings, and my al anon group encourages us to go to AA meetings. I've always taken away so much strength from AA meetings.

Yes, I have a few A anon buds that want to try other meetings, but we all work different hours, or long hours and timing is never good for any of us.

Summerpeach

I have the sweetest home group where no one judges. They are all my friends now actually. I feel totally comfy with them.

Fights in AA? really? wow! The AA meetings I went to were so amazing, calm, respectful and really great.

CAPTAINZING2000

We've got such a small group and they only meet once a week. I've needed to vent so, it's been healthy for me to spill it out and get positive reinforcement.

Summerpeach

I do have to say that I'm surpised to find out there are Al Anon meetings that are set up like AA meetings. I will have to seek these ones out.