So embarrassed by him
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 100
So embarrassed by him
He stumbled into my work place tonight.
I am so embarrassed.
I was talking to customers and he wandered in completely stoned and drunk.
I don't want people knowing I know him.
Then I watched him walk away and I felt sorry for him.
But, I can't help him.
I am so embarrassed.
I was talking to customers and he wandered in completely stoned and drunk.
I don't want people knowing I know him.
Then I watched him walk away and I felt sorry for him.
But, I can't help him.
Curled up in a good book...
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 1,542
XAH's actions are not a reflection on me a realisation that took ages to sink in! I finally lost the capacity to be embarrassed FOR him - he didn't care, why should I? It's horrible to witness but I'm so glad you realise that you can't help him.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
(((Norma)))
Hugs to you Norma. I'm so sorry that happened. When an active alcoholic stumbles right up to you in a public setting like that, you feel branded with a big scarlet letter for all the world to see.
If it helps to know, the customer was probably focused on him and not you, and if anything, they probably felt embarrased for you. I know, it's not how you'd like to be thought of but I doubt they thought you wanted him there are wanted anything to do with him.
Practicing at healthy detachment will help alleviate your feelings of embarrassment. It's a slow process, but in time it works.
Hang in there.
Alice
Hugs to you Norma. I'm so sorry that happened. When an active alcoholic stumbles right up to you in a public setting like that, you feel branded with a big scarlet letter for all the world to see.
If it helps to know, the customer was probably focused on him and not you, and if anything, they probably felt embarrased for you. I know, it's not how you'd like to be thought of but I doubt they thought you wanted him there are wanted anything to do with him.
Practicing at healthy detachment will help alleviate your feelings of embarrassment. It's a slow process, but in time it works.
Hang in there.
Alice
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: carolina girl
Posts: 578
Hugs to you, I appreciate how hard it is to watch that happen. But know that you are not responsible or accountable for his behavior, and i'm proud of you for not getting involved in the scenario that night. Keeping your distance and waiting for him to leave is the best thing you can do! 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Yes, it is not pleasant for you, and causes pain, but it isn't your "fault", nor can you do much to stop it happening again.
Feel sorry for him, for who and what he has lost in his life, and be thankful you are not still with him.
God bless
Feel sorry for him, for who and what he has lost in his life, and be thankful you are not still with him.
God bless
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Orange County, CA
Posts: 74
There is a fine line between embarrassment and sympathy. The sympathy always pulls me back into trying to cure or save him. The embarrassment makes me angry and want to push him away from me so I don't get the scarlet letter attached to any part of me. The reality is, he is attached to me, but I don't have to accept the scarlet letter.
Hugs to you for being healthy enough to watch him walk away and know that you can't help him...only he can do that.
Hugs to you for being healthy enough to watch him walk away and know that you can't help him...only he can do that.
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