reflections from passive agressive thread and some inner child thinking
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reflections from passive agressive thread and some inner child thinking
Wow....
Ive been wondering recently if Im passive agressive. Now I know I am (and worst I act it out just like my mom always did when I was little).
My estranged AH, definately passive agressive as well- no wonder when we would fight it could get real bad.
Interestingly, my little sister and I are 14 years age difference, grew up in virtually different homes. She's now living with me. We are both codependant and passive aggressive. THis has made it interesting. Funny though with each other we both become worried about the others feelings quickly (compared to if we were just friends or significant others).
(My sister and I were comparing lives as children and the dysfunction. My parents divorced when I was 9 and mom married my step dad, her dad when I was 11. Drinking was a regular part of life when I was growing up but not abused, yet neither was emotionally available for me (my father was too busy in own life as well) I moved out the day I turned 18.(but often met them at bars and such) My parents had started partying, drinking heavily and staying out late leaving me home night and day with my sister when I was 16.
During the next 10 years they drank heavily and fought when drinking. I wasnt there at this time, i was off living my life and starting a family. I remember clearly when my sister was 9, 10, 11 Id get calls at 2 am, mom and dad were drinking with her friends dad they were ready to go home and she was NOT getting in their car, so Id rush out baby in tow and drive her home following behind my parents.
I once made a statement if something were to happen to me they were not to have my children due to the partying. Amazingly, about the time my sister was 15 and they stopped drinking but got deep involved in faith, I met and married an alcoholic addict.
Today they are doing good, although mom still passive agressive and we are to where we are today with my sister now 21 living with me and my 3 kids (as nanny).
Its funny while we both grew up in dysfunction, it was such different dysfunction, but my sister and I carry along the same baggage in our adult lives fortunately both working on our own recovery
Ive been wondering recently if Im passive agressive. Now I know I am (and worst I act it out just like my mom always did when I was little).
My estranged AH, definately passive agressive as well- no wonder when we would fight it could get real bad.
Interestingly, my little sister and I are 14 years age difference, grew up in virtually different homes. She's now living with me. We are both codependant and passive aggressive. THis has made it interesting. Funny though with each other we both become worried about the others feelings quickly (compared to if we were just friends or significant others).
(My sister and I were comparing lives as children and the dysfunction. My parents divorced when I was 9 and mom married my step dad, her dad when I was 11. Drinking was a regular part of life when I was growing up but not abused, yet neither was emotionally available for me (my father was too busy in own life as well) I moved out the day I turned 18.(but often met them at bars and such) My parents had started partying, drinking heavily and staying out late leaving me home night and day with my sister when I was 16.
During the next 10 years they drank heavily and fought when drinking. I wasnt there at this time, i was off living my life and starting a family. I remember clearly when my sister was 9, 10, 11 Id get calls at 2 am, mom and dad were drinking with her friends dad they were ready to go home and she was NOT getting in their car, so Id rush out baby in tow and drive her home following behind my parents.
I once made a statement if something were to happen to me they were not to have my children due to the partying. Amazingly, about the time my sister was 15 and they stopped drinking but got deep involved in faith, I met and married an alcoholic addict.
Today they are doing good, although mom still passive agressive and we are to where we are today with my sister now 21 living with me and my 3 kids (as nanny).
Its funny while we both grew up in dysfunction, it was such different dysfunction, but my sister and I carry along the same baggage in our adult lives fortunately both working on our own recovery
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I remember clearly when my sister was 9, 10, 11 Id get calls at 2 am, mom and dad were drinking with her friends dad they were ready to go home and she was NOT getting in their car
It took me till just recently to be brave enough to set this boundary with my dad! Nice job on her!
It took me till just recently to be brave enough to set this boundary with my dad! Nice job on her!
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Join Date: Apr 2008
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I don't know if it's the same with you and your sister, but sometimes our memories don't mesh up. "This happened..." "That never happened" or "It didn't happen like that". It's weird, we'll do this to eachother. Not that it matters. It was ALL bad!
I had to spend time with my STBX today signing our youngest up for school. It bothers me that there is so much tension. I try to be nice, but really, I have no desire to be any kind of nice just now. Not angry, just disgusted. So, when I am being "nice" it feels fake and there was probably some passive aggression today. More like sarcasm, like he thought we should just send our special needs three year old to his first day of school EVER on a bus. Just have the bus pick him up and wave "buh-bye!" :wtf2
I don't think so, the kids never even been in daycare.
So, then I start treating him like an idiot for the rest of the "outing". But, I'm the one who feels crummy still.
I had to spend time with my STBX today signing our youngest up for school. It bothers me that there is so much tension. I try to be nice, but really, I have no desire to be any kind of nice just now. Not angry, just disgusted. So, when I am being "nice" it feels fake and there was probably some passive aggression today. More like sarcasm, like he thought we should just send our special needs three year old to his first day of school EVER on a bus. Just have the bus pick him up and wave "buh-bye!" :wtf2
I don't think so, the kids never even been in daycare.
So, then I start treating him like an idiot for the rest of the "outing". But, I'm the one who feels crummy still.
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My sisters and Is thoughts always mesh with each others and memories are the same(of things from when we are together). We just never remember things the same as, say anyone else....lol.
In the situation with your AH, mine and I would have been secretly wanting to kill each other. (or at each others throats) Im so glad his mom is doing things with him now that would ahve caused us to fight...instead its them arguing. My sons told me Ah was talking loudly to his mom saying your just like my wife. (She did stop him long enough to get the kids in the other room)
In the situation with your AH, mine and I would have been secretly wanting to kill each other. (or at each others throats) Im so glad his mom is doing things with him now that would ahve caused us to fight...instead its them arguing. My sons told me Ah was talking loudly to his mom saying your just like my wife. (She did stop him long enough to get the kids in the other room)
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