Twilight anyone?
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 63
Twilight anyone?
In an odd way while reading the books I found many parallels between the series and my addiction relationship. Here are some of the similarities:
1) My ex RA boyfriend was my real life version of Edward, tall, gorgeous, treated me like a princess, but instead of a vampire problem he had an addiction problem. (at least you can stop being an addict, Edward is a vampire forever.)
2) Bella gave up everything to be with Edward, much like we strive and strive to protect and help our addicts.
3) Bella got hurt a lot over Edward, always getting attacked and in danger and stuff
4) Even though Bella was a 'normie' and Edward was a vampire, they both had an undying, deep love for each other that affected them physically- they hurt if the other was missing and had stomach reactions when together
5) Bella wanted to join the 'other side' just to be with Edward, sort of like how I've wondered about trying a pill once to know what it feels like to my RA (although it's a different feeling for everyone).
6) They both were SO dependent on each other!! Geez
Well... it's hard to explain, I could think of all kinds as I read. Now I have to reread and write them down this time lol. Of course it's not as happy ending like Twilight, if you consider that a happy ending I mean it's not really glamorous being a vampire even though it's all the glamour these days... I know, pretty random and has nothing to do with anything. If anything, let this be some humor to lighten things up
I spose I'm too much of a book nerd, lol.
Sometimes I wish I could be like Edward and suck all the poison out of my ex recovering addict boyfriend...
1) My ex RA boyfriend was my real life version of Edward, tall, gorgeous, treated me like a princess, but instead of a vampire problem he had an addiction problem. (at least you can stop being an addict, Edward is a vampire forever.)
2) Bella gave up everything to be with Edward, much like we strive and strive to protect and help our addicts.
3) Bella got hurt a lot over Edward, always getting attacked and in danger and stuff
4) Even though Bella was a 'normie' and Edward was a vampire, they both had an undying, deep love for each other that affected them physically- they hurt if the other was missing and had stomach reactions when together
5) Bella wanted to join the 'other side' just to be with Edward, sort of like how I've wondered about trying a pill once to know what it feels like to my RA (although it's a different feeling for everyone).
6) They both were SO dependent on each other!! Geez
Well... it's hard to explain, I could think of all kinds as I read. Now I have to reread and write them down this time lol. Of course it's not as happy ending like Twilight, if you consider that a happy ending I mean it's not really glamorous being a vampire even though it's all the glamour these days... I know, pretty random and has nothing to do with anything. If anything, let this be some humor to lighten things up
I spose I'm too much of a book nerd, lol. Sometimes I wish I could be like Edward and suck all the poison out of my ex recovering addict boyfriend...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 63
Ps
7) Bella and Edward can't stay away from each other, like my ex and I can't resist each other.
8) Sometimes he wonders, like Edward, how much better and safer I'd be if he would stay out of my life.
____________________________________________
What to do what to do?
If you really don't want to bring back old feelings for your ex than for goodness sakes, STAY out of touch if you are. Geez, it's SO easy to start chatting and talking again.
Um... what would you say if I said that I believe my ex is doing the right things, steps and going in the right direction for his recovery?
He was in rehab for 4 months, out sober 2 then had a relapse for a few days, went back to rehab and now is in their work program. He's making himself stay in the program when he could easily go back home to his parents where he wouldnt be pressed to do anything, he could take his time getting a job and his parents would help him with everything and anything. But- he realizes that that's too easy, that's one of the problems he had when he got out is he didnt have to do anything, he wasnt forced to try. Not it's sink or swim, he has two weeks to find a job to stay in the work study, which he's really glad about because it's giving him that motivation and drive. He's gotten a few interviews already and he really thinks he could have a job. He plans on staying there for a month or two, then moving to a half way house while he saves for his own place near the community college in our town. He's going to go back to school. That all sounds good huh?
The other thing is that I truly feel like he's devoted to me, he's the romantic sensitive type. You'd think that if he was someone who didn't care then he'd just go out and find someone else. He's a very attractive person, nice personality and there are a few girls who've already expressed their interest in him. Well- I've told him many times we cant be together, don't talk to me anymore, stay away! and he could easily have just left it and started talking to someone else but he hasnt... he continues to drop me a line here and there and I always respond back. He say's it's impossible for someone to love me more than him, and when we were together when no one knew about his addiction (including me) that he was head over heels for me, he'd do anything and everything for me. Everyone could tell, no one questioned his loyalty and commitment to me, he spoiled me and when he had the money would get me anything I wanted. If anything I was the one who had troubles not straying at times... being young and being in two serious relationships back to back.
So I'm confused, his actions towards me have always been tender and loving. For the most part, he did play mind games with everyone. He did have his drug addiction to hide from many people so he had to cover that up. I just don't know how to understand "I'm not that bad, I'm not a bad person" but then keep in mind the addiction part. He wasn't a bad person. He did steal at times but for the most part he ALWAYS had a job and worked to make the money for his pills. He's always made good money too, I mean he had things relatively together for being an addict for 8 years. Just don't know...
What I DO know is that I'm not looking for a relationship right now, nothing against him but I don't want one with anyone. This whole experience made me realize that my priorities are way off focus, I have to focus on school and getting a degree THEN get a serious boyfriend. My ex could either wait for me for a couple years or leave. I mean- I think that's the best thing anyways, he needs a couple years to get things together, to prove himself so really it works out. But I just cant be distracted like that again, I had NO balance in my life.
From Breaking Dawn (final book of Twilight Saga)
Bella: "When you loved the one who was killing you, it left you no options. How could you run, how could you fight, when doing so would hurt that beloved one? If your life was all you had to give, how could you not give it? If it was someone you truly loved?"
I am such a fantasy person, my ex loves me like Edward loves Bella.
He would go to the ends of the earth and back. He doesn't know what to do without me. He's my protector.
Maybe someone needs to tell me I'm crazy and bring me back down to earth, get my head out of the clouds.
8) Sometimes he wonders, like Edward, how much better and safer I'd be if he would stay out of my life.
____________________________________________
What to do what to do?
If you really don't want to bring back old feelings for your ex than for goodness sakes, STAY out of touch if you are. Geez, it's SO easy to start chatting and talking again.
Um... what would you say if I said that I believe my ex is doing the right things, steps and going in the right direction for his recovery?
He was in rehab for 4 months, out sober 2 then had a relapse for a few days, went back to rehab and now is in their work program. He's making himself stay in the program when he could easily go back home to his parents where he wouldnt be pressed to do anything, he could take his time getting a job and his parents would help him with everything and anything. But- he realizes that that's too easy, that's one of the problems he had when he got out is he didnt have to do anything, he wasnt forced to try. Not it's sink or swim, he has two weeks to find a job to stay in the work study, which he's really glad about because it's giving him that motivation and drive. He's gotten a few interviews already and he really thinks he could have a job. He plans on staying there for a month or two, then moving to a half way house while he saves for his own place near the community college in our town. He's going to go back to school. That all sounds good huh?
The other thing is that I truly feel like he's devoted to me, he's the romantic sensitive type. You'd think that if he was someone who didn't care then he'd just go out and find someone else. He's a very attractive person, nice personality and there are a few girls who've already expressed their interest in him. Well- I've told him many times we cant be together, don't talk to me anymore, stay away! and he could easily have just left it and started talking to someone else but he hasnt... he continues to drop me a line here and there and I always respond back. He say's it's impossible for someone to love me more than him, and when we were together when no one knew about his addiction (including me) that he was head over heels for me, he'd do anything and everything for me. Everyone could tell, no one questioned his loyalty and commitment to me, he spoiled me and when he had the money would get me anything I wanted. If anything I was the one who had troubles not straying at times... being young and being in two serious relationships back to back.
So I'm confused, his actions towards me have always been tender and loving. For the most part, he did play mind games with everyone. He did have his drug addiction to hide from many people so he had to cover that up. I just don't know how to understand "I'm not that bad, I'm not a bad person" but then keep in mind the addiction part. He wasn't a bad person. He did steal at times but for the most part he ALWAYS had a job and worked to make the money for his pills. He's always made good money too, I mean he had things relatively together for being an addict for 8 years. Just don't know...
What I DO know is that I'm not looking for a relationship right now, nothing against him but I don't want one with anyone. This whole experience made me realize that my priorities are way off focus, I have to focus on school and getting a degree THEN get a serious boyfriend. My ex could either wait for me for a couple years or leave. I mean- I think that's the best thing anyways, he needs a couple years to get things together, to prove himself so really it works out. But I just cant be distracted like that again, I had NO balance in my life.
From Breaking Dawn (final book of Twilight Saga)
Bella: "When you loved the one who was killing you, it left you no options. How could you run, how could you fight, when doing so would hurt that beloved one? If your life was all you had to give, how could you not give it? If it was someone you truly loved?"
I am such a fantasy person, my ex loves me like Edward loves Bella.
He would go to the ends of the earth and back. He doesn't know what to do without me. He's my protector.
Maybe someone needs to tell me I'm crazy and bring me back down to earth, get my head out of the clouds.
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
But I just cant be distracted like that again, I had NO balance in my life.
If love could save our addicts, not one of us would be here. It's not that addicts can't get well, some do but they do it themselves and not because of anyone else. We are powerless over their choices and actions.
I know that I had to let go of my son or die trying to save him. And the truth is, had I died, he was no more likely to find recovery than if I lived. In the end, he will find recovery or he will not, regardless of what I do with my life.
I chose to live. It wasn't an easy choice, I wanted both...my life and his. But the only power I had was over my own life, and I chose to live it well.
Life, unlike literature and fantasy, is living on life's terms, not always easy, not always with happy endings each day. But there is happiness there, regardless of how our addicts make out with their own recovery. And we hold the key to our happiness, just as they hold the key to theirs.
Like I said, I think you are making some good choices in your life and hope that it takes you someplace better where you don't have to live in the hell of addiction anymore.
Hugs
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