inneed921

Not sure how much detail to write, so I'll include most everything. My sister is an alcoholic, and it's been a problem for about 10 years. About 2 years ago, she got kicked out of her apmt for not paying rent-she stopped working because of her drinking. At this point, she still had us all fooled as to her drinking-she was very clever about it. Over the many years, we have all (the family, mom,me,other sister) have loaned (really given) $$ for bills, etc. when she needed it. Last Xmas, she showed up at my other sisters house with no place to go, and my sister took her in. We didn't know she was drinking at the time--I guess WE were still in denial, too. After 2 weeks, she was so bad, passed out on the floor and things, that we managed to get her into detox, then rehab, then longer care recovery. Things were going well for her, we thought. She was sober for 14 months, then showed up at my sisters house, again, saying she was kicked out of the recovery house because she owed too much$$ for past rent. Because she was sober, my sister said OK. After a week or so, we started seeing signs of her drinking again, then after a total of 2 weeks, she was back to drinking herself almost into a coma-sleeping int he middle of the floor, and no-one could wake her. We called ambulance, and they-and police-took her to the hospital. She was in 4 days-hooked up to IV, was in very bad shape. We told her she was not moving back-she had to find help. While in the hospital, she managed to find an old-contact from rehab, and 'persuaded' him to let her move in with his sister. I can only guess she didn't tell him how really bad she was. He said yes, and within 2 weeks, again, I got a call from this lady saying that my sister was passed out on the floor, and was drinking. She wanted me to come get my sister, but I refused (I still feel guilty about that!). She then called 911, and the cops showed up, and took her again to the hospital, where she went thru emergency, and was given IV's, and such. This time, she went into the hospitals' rehab. It's been about 3 weeks, now, and she's coming out in 5 days, She wants to move back in with my sister, and we're saying no. We, of course, are insistant that she enter into a longer-care facility--she refuses. She's saying that she has nowhere else to go, so how could we 'put her in the street". She says that the only way she can get back on her feet is find a place to stay, so she can work again, then make enough $$ to get an apmt. When I ask her about her drinking, and that was the reason she can't live with my sister, she gets angry and says we've "given up on her". I've read about enabling, and it's a tough thing to do, and it's also tough to know what to do. Any Advice?? Thanks!

Anna

Hi and Welcome!

I hope that you find some support for yourself at AlAnon and as well, on our boards. We have two forums for Friends and Families.

NewMe11109

Please check out the Friends and Family Section of SR. You will get a lot of great support there.

I am sorry about your sister. In the end, you can't control her; she has to decide to stop drinking on her own. This is alcoholism - cunning, baffling, powerful.

least

Actually, she's the one who has given up on herself. Yes, to continue to help her would be enabling, since she shows no desire to live sober or responsibly on her own. Stepping back and letting her find her own 'bottom' might be the wisest course. YOU didn't cause this, YOU can't control this, YOU can't cure this. SHE'S the only one who can do anything about it. Please don't let her guilt-trip you into anything that makes you uncomfortable. She's got to make the effort herself and it sounds like she's not ready to do so.

Please do check out Friends and Families of Alcoholics forum. Lots of support there. Here's the link:

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information



Welcome to SR! :ghug3