7 weeks today, and feeling stronger everyday!
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Anywhere but here...
Posts: 227
7 weeks today, and feeling stronger everyday!
I just looked at the calendar, and I can hardly BELIEVE it's been 7 weeks since I moved out of the XABF's condo. It's not very long, but it feels like a lifetime ago that I was involved in so much chaos!
I've gone through so many emotions and feelings since that day. Going NC with him for this long has been a HUGE blessing. I was so hurt and angry and upset when I first left, because he didn't call me. I had so wanted him to validate my existence in his life! Well, guess what? I don't NEED IT!
He cannot validate himself, let alone another person in his life. I am moving on. I am settled in my new apartment, and loving it. I am decorating, I am going out with friends. I have a full weekend planned, and HOPING for no triggers this Saturday. I dyed my hair, I bought some new clothes, I am going to Weight Watchers (I've lost 35lbs since Oct 2009), and I am continuing my journey alone!
I am giving my testimony at church on Sunday, and will be baptized the same day. I am saved. Truly, in ever sense of the word!
I am leaving Hurricane Brent behind me, and I am stepping out in faith that my new life is going to be SO MUCH BETTER than my old one. I am perfecting my picker, and have set new boundaries for any new prospects coming my way. NO MORE BOZOS!
I had so many fears about leaving, none ever came to fruition. I worried about who would police his drinking, who would do his laundry, his grocery shopping, who would take care of him? I worried about all those things.
Now, I go to bed in MY apartment, where there is PEACE. NO rock videos at 3am, NO sound of beer cans being opened every 3 minutes, at all hours of the night. No drunk rambling, no blameshifting, no wondering what time he would get home from the bar. No walking on eggshells when I get home from work, wondering if he'd be drunk, sober or somewhere in between. No manic episodes.
I have peace now. None of that is my worry, nor my concern anymore. I am saved. I am free. And I am so thankful!
I've gone through so many emotions and feelings since that day. Going NC with him for this long has been a HUGE blessing. I was so hurt and angry and upset when I first left, because he didn't call me. I had so wanted him to validate my existence in his life! Well, guess what? I don't NEED IT!
He cannot validate himself, let alone another person in his life. I am moving on. I am settled in my new apartment, and loving it. I am decorating, I am going out with friends. I have a full weekend planned, and HOPING for no triggers this Saturday. I dyed my hair, I bought some new clothes, I am going to Weight Watchers (I've lost 35lbs since Oct 2009), and I am continuing my journey alone!
I am giving my testimony at church on Sunday, and will be baptized the same day. I am saved. Truly, in ever sense of the word!
I am leaving Hurricane Brent behind me, and I am stepping out in faith that my new life is going to be SO MUCH BETTER than my old one. I am perfecting my picker, and have set new boundaries for any new prospects coming my way. NO MORE BOZOS!
I had so many fears about leaving, none ever came to fruition. I worried about who would police his drinking, who would do his laundry, his grocery shopping, who would take care of him? I worried about all those things.
Now, I go to bed in MY apartment, where there is PEACE. NO rock videos at 3am, NO sound of beer cans being opened every 3 minutes, at all hours of the night. No drunk rambling, no blameshifting, no wondering what time he would get home from the bar. No walking on eggshells when I get home from work, wondering if he'd be drunk, sober or somewhere in between. No manic episodes.
I have peace now. None of that is my worry, nor my concern anymore. I am saved. I am free. And I am so thankful!
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
IAmsaved, yeah, no more dark metal all day and in HIS car. No more life in someone else's terms (hell?)
Now there is cumbia, salsa, classic, new age, lounge, pop
For me it is very symbolic to play my own music!! I just got a therapeutic CD going in my car and no one who will make fun out of it!!"
Yes I also waited for XBF to validate my existance. YUK. Our new selves are much better.
I too lost weight and ohhh nothing fits well anymore... perfect excuse for shopping
I only want things that I LOVE in my life. You are so much stronger than me, I'm glad you are recovering so fast. Hope you enjoy your weekend!
Now there is cumbia, salsa, classic, new age, lounge, pop
For me it is very symbolic to play my own music!! I just got a therapeutic CD going in my car and no one who will make fun out of it!!"Yes I also waited for XBF to validate my existance. YUK. Our new selves are much better.
I too lost weight and ohhh nothing fits well anymore... perfect excuse for shopping
I only want things that I LOVE in my life. You are so much stronger than me, I'm glad you are recovering so fast. Hope you enjoy your weekend!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
am moving on. I am settled in my new apartment, and loving it. I am decorating, I am going out with friends. I have a full weekend planned, and HOPING for no triggers this Saturday. I dyed my hair, I bought some new clothes, I am going to Weight Watchers (I've lost 35lbs since Oct 2009), and I am continuing my journey alone!
It sounds as though you are not truly going it alone. You have your higher power, you have friends and you have the new you, which sounds like a wonderfully full life to me.
Bravo!!!
Alice
It sounds as though you are not truly going it alone. You have your higher power, you have friends and you have the new you, which sounds like a wonderfully full life to me.
Bravo!!!
Alice
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
" None of that is my worry, nor my concern anymore."
It never really was. May you get your co-dependent ways in order.
It never really is about anyone but ourselves..we have the power to make our own lives better.
You have chosen to do that...good for You
It never really was. May you get your co-dependent ways in order.
It never really is about anyone but ourselves..we have the power to make our own lives better.
You have chosen to do that...good for You
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Anywhere but here...
Posts: 227
It's been such a journey already! And..I can say that today, NO TRIGGERS! I had a great time out with the girls last night! Tonight, meeting up with some HS friends, seeing a friend's band, and just hanging out.
Tomorrow is the big day! I'm so excited!
Thank you all for sharing your journeys. It's not easy to love an addict. It's even harder to love them, and leave them behind. They consume us in ways we can't seem to comprehend. I'm ready to start the next part of my journey....
Tomorrow is the big day! I'm so excited!
Thank you all for sharing your journeys. It's not easy to love an addict. It's even harder to love them, and leave them behind. They consume us in ways we can't seem to comprehend. I'm ready to start the next part of my journey....
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: East Coast
Posts: 90
Thank you for sharing your success with us Iamsaved! You inspire those of us who are considering leaving or have recently left. You give us hope for the future and inspiration that we too can walk away and be okay.
I'm one week free, still living with friends and have to share my kids with their alcoholic father. This week I did many things I was so afraid of... saw a lawyer, went to social services, visited my son's school counselor, filed a petition for spousal and child support, opened a new checking account and on & on. Guess what? I survived!
One week later I can say that I am blessed to be out of the abusive chaos that was my life for many years. I'm frequently still scared but I know in my heart and soul that we (kids & I) will be fine.
I am saved. I am free. And I am so thankful!
I couldn't agree more!
I'm one week free, still living with friends and have to share my kids with their alcoholic father. This week I did many things I was so afraid of... saw a lawyer, went to social services, visited my son's school counselor, filed a petition for spousal and child support, opened a new checking account and on & on. Guess what? I survived!
One week later I can say that I am blessed to be out of the abusive chaos that was my life for many years. I'm frequently still scared but I know in my heart and soul that we (kids & I) will be fine.
I am saved. I am free. And I am so thankful!
I couldn't agree more!
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