healing
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: my own little world
Posts: 9,071
healing
I was going through some things online and found the following tips for healing from a divorce.
I figure no matter where we are in our situation or recovery this things could help, whether its just to mentally divorce ourselves from the addict, whether spouse or child that we once knew or dealing with an actual divorce they can help
I really like the part about writing an eulogy. Doing this when grieving a death helps so why cant we do it to grieve for the person that once was?
The thank you note too.
Ill be quite emotional when I do this and after but I think they will be very theraputic
I figure no matter where we are in our situation or recovery this things could help, whether its just to mentally divorce ourselves from the addict, whether spouse or child that we once knew or dealing with an actual divorce they can help
Share your story -- struggles and successes -- with a support group. No one knows better how you feel than those who have been there.
Create some kind of divorce ceremony for yourself. For example, try writing a eulogy for your marriage. Place the written document in a box with other symbolic mementos of the marriage, then bury it in the woods.
In addition to psycho-spiritual exercises, intense physical exercises (like Tae-Bo) can offer immense release of anger and frustration (and you get in shape in the process!).
After you have honored your anger, try writing a "thank you" note (one that you will not mail). This will help you consider all you have learned from the relationship, retain what was valuable from the experience, and let go of the rest.
After a while, try helping others in a similar situation. For example, babysitting for a friend who's going through divorce so she can meet with her attorney, or taking your friend out to dinner so he can talk about his divorce and not have to eat alone.
Create some kind of divorce ceremony for yourself. For example, try writing a eulogy for your marriage. Place the written document in a box with other symbolic mementos of the marriage, then bury it in the woods.
In addition to psycho-spiritual exercises, intense physical exercises (like Tae-Bo) can offer immense release of anger and frustration (and you get in shape in the process!).
After you have honored your anger, try writing a "thank you" note (one that you will not mail). This will help you consider all you have learned from the relationship, retain what was valuable from the experience, and let go of the rest.
After a while, try helping others in a similar situation. For example, babysitting for a friend who's going through divorce so she can meet with her attorney, or taking your friend out to dinner so he can talk about his divorce and not have to eat alone.
The thank you note too.
Ill be quite emotional when I do this and after but I think they will be very theraputic
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 52
Great suggestions! I actually did most of those and they really helped!
Reminds me of a funny story though. Some nutty thing happened with exah (which always spurred me on to clean out yet another something). This time i was burning my marriage certificate and some other momentos. (Marriage certificates create really pretty colorful flames btw.
)
So I'm having a lousy day and decide to sit on my front porch with a glass of wine in the dark and burn all this junk in a tin can i have. Well the two brothers across the street get into a HUGE fight and they're yelling and I'm just sitting there wondering why they picked tonight to stand in their yard and I decide to burn all the stuff anyway cuz who really cares at that point.
A few minutes later one of their wives comes out and tells them to quiet down and then says - anyway...you need to know that lady over there is burning stuff in her front yard and it's weird...I've been sitting here watching her! I just started laughing and it was such a great way to bring closure to things.
Hugs to you lady! Thanks for sharing.
Reminds me of a funny story though. Some nutty thing happened with exah (which always spurred me on to clean out yet another something). This time i was burning my marriage certificate and some other momentos. (Marriage certificates create really pretty colorful flames btw.
)So I'm having a lousy day and decide to sit on my front porch with a glass of wine in the dark and burn all this junk in a tin can i have. Well the two brothers across the street get into a HUGE fight and they're yelling and I'm just sitting there wondering why they picked tonight to stand in their yard and I decide to burn all the stuff anyway cuz who really cares at that point.
A few minutes later one of their wives comes out and tells them to quiet down and then says - anyway...you need to know that lady over there is burning stuff in her front yard and it's weird...I've been sitting here watching her! I just started laughing and it was such a great way to bring closure to things.
Hugs to you lady! Thanks for sharing.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,906
Thanks for posting this. After my own revelation the last few days - I too was looking online for coping skills.
For today I have the stereo cranked, the windows open (just recovering from a hard winter so happy for spring) and I'm packing up AH's stuff, cleaning out all that I can. I feel GREAT today. I'm going to do like the flowers, trees and grass are starting to do. Come to LIFE! Lots of things coming together for me in the last few days and it's been a long time coming!
For today I have the stereo cranked, the windows open (just recovering from a hard winter so happy for spring) and I'm packing up AH's stuff, cleaning out all that I can. I feel GREAT today. I'm going to do like the flowers, trees and grass are starting to do. Come to LIFE! Lots of things coming together for me in the last few days and it's been a long time coming!
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