abajak

My ah is "high functioning"...never misses work, highly successful at his job. But in his "cutting back" weeks, he's still drinking 2-3 a night.
He also has anger management issues...and has been abusive to our kids...not enough for serious physical injury, but enough to scare the daylights out of them and me (and enough to worry about "the next time"). This behavior can occur when he is stone-cold sober. Still Alcohol related??

NellieM

It's hard to live with an explosive spouse, isn't it? In my experience, it was related to alcohol/drugs. It's a form of control. Please take care of yourself.

cambridge

Does it matter? Take care of yourself and your kids. Maybe try and get into some counselling with out without him for an outside opinion.

Abuse is nothing to fool around with, and usually does not get better on its own.

least

Abuse of my kids would be the last straw for me. I don't care how high functioning he is, he abuses the kids, he has to leave. I've been there and am done with that. No man, alcoholic or not, is ever going to abuse my kids again.

Take care of yourself and your kids, even if you have to leave him to do it.

intention

One thing is guaranteed with all alcoholics, even high functioning ones, is that it will always get worse.

Please put yourself and the kids first.

shaun00

i cant comment on whether your partner is alcoholic or not.

but coming from a chronic alcoholic i was impossible to live with while periods of "dry time".
quick tempered....irritable.......aggresive and unpredictable..

Tazman53

Perhaps, but I would say alcoholism related, not alcohol related.

If he is like I was his fuse is a lot shorter when he has not been drinking, but I digress, his alcoholism is his problem.... NOT YOURS!!!!

Abuse, be it verbal or physical is unacceptable & just like alcoholism, it never gets better if it continues, it always gets worse!!!

Your #1 priority is the welfare of your children, you need to take care of yourself in order to be able to take care of your children!

Take what ever actions are needed to take care of you & your children. Abused spouses are bad enough, BUT abused children are innocent victims that only a parent can protect.

Anna

I agree, Does it matter?

Please seek help for yourself and your children. No one should have to live with abuse.

Insulated

maybe it's a bipolar disorder, pstd, who knows. the significant factor is that there are many forms of abuse and verbal/emotional/mental abuse is one just to name a few.

Stayinfree

Hi
I also agree...does it matter??
I left the father of my children when he became verbally abusive many years ago.
Zero tolerance

NoelleR

People give alcohol (drugs) way too much power. Although alcohol (drugs) may exacerbate bahavior (both good and bad), it does NOT cause it.

Tazman53

We say in AA that drinking is but a symptom of alcoholism, I have to concur, I did what I did, I can not blame my drinking for what I did, the booze simply made it easier to do what I wanted to do.

vegibean

I agree with all the others that said "does it matter?"

Not to mention if you keep adding alcohol to an already bad case of anger, I believe it's just a matter of time.

There are so many resources out there that can help you. Please check out 211.org. Your kids deserve better than that and so do you.