Nichole78

I really dont know where to begin this post..first ill thank you all for reading and taking time to reply to me, i know you are all going through something similar and i value your responses!

I got a call a from my brother roughly a week ago telling me he didnt want to hide from me the fact that he relapsed a day before his 17 month mark, said he wasnt gonna do it again, going back to meetings blah blah blah

Fast foward to Friday....couldnt get in touch with him all afternoon and unless he has been using its NOT like him not to call me back farely quick...so i called his gf, she informed me he went out with one of his *boys* now this so called *boy* he told me was a bit of trouble, so i told her that so she calls him asks him where he is, he tells her, well the town he was in with this kid is the same town he relapsed in so there is the red flag she tells him he cant come back if he is using, around 8pm he calls my mom crying about how much he loves this girl he cant lose her and so on....he tells my mom and step father about this replapse ( they knew i told them) so joe (step father) tells him if he wants to get some help again he will pick him up first thing in the morning and find someplace for him to go. ( joe is in recovery 6 yrs now and works with addicts weekly that enter a program through the VA hopsital) so 430am comes and my brother calls telling them he is at the train station near their house, joe gets right out of bed and gets him, brings him home lets him sleep, shower, eat gave him a change of clothes, you name it hes doing it for my brother. So they leave for a detox to be there by 3pm.....430 comes my phone rings and its joes phone, well its my brother, they wouldnt let him in without being cleared medically for cutting his arm all up, so he says hes not going for a psych eval no ifs ands or butss about it...joe gave him other options,,,didnt want take one of them so he says drop me off in Framingham so joe did, he had no place to go except a meeting and he did! (i know that cause he just called me) but he was ok with walking the street and letting his family worry about him, i know thats his addict mind. Anyway he seems to think by having a sponser going to meetings and this AWOL group he will make it, persoanlly we all think he needs another program, only time will tell.

My big problem is this..........i dont know how to handle the fact that he is making all these choices, i know they are HIS choices but its just so so hard to understand!

I got side tracked because he called me, he is at his girlfriends house with the understanding if he uses again there will be a restraining order placed on him until he goes and completes treatment.

He told me how sorry he was never meant to hurt any of us and loves us all which i already knew, i told him i loved him too but now hes gotta start taking care of himself again!

I totally got sidetracked and lost what i was going to say in this post, its long enough so ill end it now..........thanks for reading

Freedom1990

I used to think that if I understood why someone was doing what they did that I would feel better. That isn't necessarily the case. Having been on both sides of the fence (recovering codependent and recovering addict/alcoholic), I did understand a lot of the choices my AD was making. I didn't feel one bit better either!

Your brother has a right to live his life and make his choices, just as my AD does. I don't have to like her choices. It is what it is.

I don't know if your brother needs more than meetings.

When I made the decision to use/drink again after 4 years clean/sober, there was no inpatient rehab, no IOP, just me dragging myself back up the steps to my 12 step home group after I was tired of hurting.

I was a single parent of two daughters then. I wanted recovery more than I wanted to stay in my addictions/alcoholism.

When all else fails if I'm trying to turn someone over to God, I close my eyes, envision a big pair of loving hands, and place the person I am worried about right into those hands.