Elsie

I guess it was a bad thing for me to show concern for XABF.

He emailed from Florida (where he is for his Fathers funeral) said he was in a hotel over-looking the ocean and said that WE should be there.
He also texted and said he missed me.

ARGH!
So now I feel like I can't even express a natural human emotion when it comes to him, if he's going to read into it!

I can't go completely NC as he and I have a son together.

coffeedrinker

sorry he contacted you with that comment. almost like he's normal or something and this weirdness isn't between you two.

can you limit the contact to things pertaining to your child?

LaTeeDa

I've heard this so many times on this board, I can't even count. Usually it is an excuse to continue participating in the drama.

My XAH and I share two children. When we first separated, he constantly tried to get me to discuss "us." It took determination on my part, but I enforced my boundaries. Whenever our conversations got off the subject of children, or logistics or finances as pertained to the children, I ended the conversation. After about a month of sticking to it, he got the message. He stopped going there.

Yours will continue to go there as long as you keep dancing. Just because you have a child together, doesn't mean you have to participate in the dance. It's within your control.

L

Summerpeach

How is this an excuse?
Could be she is healing and dealing with her life different than you did?! No need to cast a judgement. Support is not about throwing stones

LaTeeDa

I wasn't throwing stones. Just making an observation, and sharing my experience that you don't have to continue the alcoholic/codependent dance just because you have children together.

L