WizeDeb

Ive been learning alot about myself thru therapy. Gosh I really was an enabler to the extreme. I also attended a meeting for surviors of sucide.
Last night when I left, I didnt feel so bad, those people in that room knew exactly what I was feeling and gave me insight on what was to come in the months ahead. There stories were so powerfull. Some have lived with the crazys of AH or AW. Some lost children who seemed perfectly fine the day before.Some had great marrages and there spouses still took there life. I cryied the whole time everytiime someone told there story. I feel a connection with them. They understand what Im feeling.

The think know that is bothering me is that altho my daughter is in therapy and seems to be doing well. I feel as tho Im not supporting her enough. I know the story of putting the oxgen mask on yourself first in order to help your child.Tomarrow at therapy Im going to discuss that. I know I have to focus on myself before Im any good for anyone. I wonder who I will be after this ???

Jazzman

Glad to hear you found a great support group. I could have used something like that last fall. Maybe your daughter could benefit from going with you or by herself to the next meeting?

Pelican

Thanks for the update on you, Deb.

I can't promise sunshine and roses in your future, but I believe you are going to be an amazing woman of strength, hope and serenity based on the steps you are taking today.

I hope you are able to continue to share your recovery journey with us. You are an inspiration. You are helping me in my daily life to remember that it is okay to ask for help when I need help. It is okay to allow myself to express my feelings to people who care.

Your story may be helping others that have not had the courage to speak up yet.

Peace and (((hugs)))

GiveLove

Deb, this is such a hopeful thought, though you may or may not have meant it that way.

When I lost my sisters, I never considered the possibility that through my own healing I could become a kinder, wiser, stronger force in my own life, and in the lives of the people I loved. That some good could come of it, as hard as it was to even forgive myself at that point.

My counselor used a metaphor of being fired at high temperatures, like a piece of fine pottery. It's through that intense "destruction" that we become the kind of vessel that makes us realize our purpose here.

That's why I like therapy and all kinds of self-helping kinds of activities.

I want to see what kind of person I can become. I'm not afraid any more.

Love to you this morning

PHIZ007

Just wanted to say I am thinking of you.

And Wow Givelove! I loved your post.......I have definately changed since losing my best friend to Suicide in May 2007.......I would like to think that I have alot more compassion for people, am kinder and really do see that you never know what problems others may have.

When I was growing up my Mum.......used to always say to us if we were complaining about others for example a school friend......"Be kind to them, you never know what problems others have"....I used to dismiss that as a 17 year old but of course now I really do get that.....and it is something I will also pass on to my children.

Take Care WizeDeb I think you are doing such a great job under very difficult circumstances.....keep posting Phiz :0)