SadlyLost

I have been having one of those weeks where I cry all the time (sunday, last night, tonight). I know it's cause of Valentine's Day and I hate that I am making it such a big deal cause I never cared before, but I am so upset. To top it off, I keep having dreams about him...and I have not heard or seen him in 41 days. Not to mention I will be moving at the end of the month, and that's like....nailing the coffin shut cause he will not know where we have gone, and mentally and physically I am ready cause I need to start to rebuild my and our daughter's life, but emotionally, I am starting to panic.

Most days I think I can handle this, and most days I know all I am doing is good cause I need to keep going for our baby, but right now, I don't know if I can do this.

cece1960

Concentrate on the "most days" SL.
I know this is a very difficult time for you, but you may look back on it as a time that you had more courage than you ever thought you would.

Ann here says the difference between a good day and a bad day is often two days. I think she may be onto something

Forget about Valentines Day. Its a made up Hallmark holiday. Do something extra special for you and your daughter. Why? Because you both deserve it!:day6

Don't you just hate all of those commercials?

Teggie

I know how you feel, all the valentine stuff makes me wanna barf, lol.

So I am concentrating only on valentines for my kiddos.

Hang in there, just for today. Take it one day at a time. Thats what I do. And hopefully this hurt we feel will get better in time.

Hugs,
Teggie

jerect

Why don't you do something special for yourself on Valentine's day, even if it's taking an hour or two out of your day and watching a movie or giving yourself a manicure or something.. You deserve it... and V-Day is overrated anyway

sofacat

I asked my AH to leave our house on New Years Eve.....the thought of being around all of the singing and kissing made me want to get sick!! ( Literally)
So.....I banished the "Auld Lang Syne" song from my house....watched a movie....and just "skipped" it! I couldn't deal.

Now, Valentines day is for the ones you love....how 'bout doing something special with your daughter? Bake some cookies, watch a good movie, do a cute craft project with her or something. I'm banning this holiday too...which, in my opinion isn't really a holiday....It's a way for us to stimulate the economy after Christmas and before tax time.
But...that's just me.

I remember having to literally FORCE myself out of the house when I was having some of my darkest days.....I went out and bought something for myself that I wouldn't normally buy. Now, every time I look at it, it reminds me of that day....the day I forced myself to get my life back. It makes me smile.

((((( Big Hugs ))))) and we are with you.

Go do something fun....you deserve it and you need it.

SadlyLost

Thanks you guys.

It seems stupid, I know. I spent Thanksgiving without him cause he was out on a 2 day binge. I spent Christmas without him cause I had kicked him out by then...and of course he was binging then too and On new year's eve/ new year's he had just disappeared, again probably binging, so why is this making me upset.

Like I said, I never cared about Valentine's before...I think it's more all the sickly sweet happy couple I am seeing...and all the stupid email ads I am getting promoting Valentine's sales and gifts, UGH.

My mom is taking the baby for Valentine's so my friend is buying a gallon of ice cream and some pie and I am crashing at her place while crying into ice cream and yelling at the chick flicks we will be watching, LOL.

I also realized that moving day will be 60 days no contact for me. 60 DAYS! I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

MsPINKAcres

Oh honey - I don't know that watching those silly chic flicks is a good choice - I might would go for something different -

just my thoughts - that sounds like torture!!!

why not choose something different - something positive, recovery and healthy - take the money you would spend on the ice cream, movie rentals, etc. and buy a bunch of flowers and take them to the local hospital and share them with people who don't have anyone - to a nursing home, or a women's shelter.

I truly understand that you need time to process your hurt feelings - and I understand the pain, disappointment and heartbreak - I had several miserable Valentines Days, birthdays, christmas, and anniversaries with my ex ah - the ones with no gifts - he was absent or he was just under the influence and unavailable.

Then I got suggestions from my home group to take back my LIFE - make it a positive day - no matter what his choices were - what could I do to make my day better and to also help make someone else's day better which would also help me and my recovery.

Just a suggestion - either way - praying you feel the hope, love and peace for YOU

HUGS,
Rita