CashFan

Hubby gets unemployment benefits, that he uses to buy his booze and smokes. I work, and my money goes to mortgage, bills, food, everything. This week, I got council rates to pay, and car rego, and that would leave me with nothing. Hubby said dont pay council rates this week, ask to pay them off. I knew what he was onto. he wanted me to register the car. Now, I dont need the car, as I am a push bike rider, but he relys on it, cos he can drive to the booze shop. Well, the council rates got paid, and the car can sit in the driveway, and he can wonder how he can get his booze now, seeing not only did I not register the car, while he was sleeping, i also hid both sets of car keys, so he cant illegally drive there.

CashFan

too sick to mow the lawns here, too sick to do anything, but not too sick to drink ****, come on>

Eight Ball

He rely's on the car to buy booze?!! the only thing I would agree to relying on a car - if its to work to earn money or for hospital treatment of some sort. If you dont need the car, can you sell it and say you cant afford to run a car on one wage. The car is a bit of an enabler - dont you think. Maybe if he drove the car illegally he would get stopped by the police and dealt with and this would be his consequence of his drinking.

My husband is an alcoholic but has always been a hard worker and bread winner. I really don't think I could handle living with a bum as well. Whats in this relationship for you?

Good for you for paying the council rates though.

CashFan

I know. He is the first man in my life that didnt bash me. My dad did, my first hubby did, thought I hit the jackpot with this man, just cos he doesnt lay a finger on me.

CashFan

but, the car can go. I know what you are saying. and i agree with you. Thanks for answering.

nodaybut2day

Wow, that must have taken guts. I used to hide the fact that I paid bills from my XAH just to avoid confrontation. Can you imagine? Feeling ashamed of paying bills...

Kudos to you for standing up for yourself.

FindingPeace1

That's a step up - for sure!
It sounds like you got to a place where you can say, "I don't deserve to be physically abused."

I would say you don't deserve to be mistreated, or with someone that is not an equal partner, or with someone that wastes your money, or does not respect you.

You deserve to be honored and respected. You deserve a partner that is an equal.

Are you buyin' it, yet?

w

Jadmack25

Sweetie, I hope you one day get to enjoy a real relationship, where partners are equal, and there is love, respect, honesty and support for and from each other.

Having some lazy, unproductive man using money on drink and dictating what bills not to pay is NOT showing you any love, respect, honesty and support.

For me...not being bashed by a partner, is not the be all and end all of a relationship, it would be only part of the relationship.

God bless

TakingCharge999

I had this conversation with girl friends, women in their 30s and it is very sad, often we gather someone is "a good man" because he doesnt hit the woman, he is not addicted to hard drugs. Very sad state of affairs. I loved your decisive actions, now please be careful, usually addicts don't like when someone is not cooperating and cushioning things for them to continue the party.
Hugs!!