AH wants rehab- cant find one?
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: midwest
Posts: 44
AH wants rehab- cant find one?
I am completely disappointed in the help thats available . My AH called asking for the insurance card, ect. Hes ready for rehab. So out of all the places he called , they all only do detox for opiates- then send him to "extensive outpatient" program. He went that route before and its did not work. Here he is willing to go impatent -which he has NEVER wanted and always said he wouldnt do- but yet, we cannot find a place for him to go! I found some places out of state but of course they cost a fortune and his addiction has basically pushed us to bankrupcy. The only way he could stay is if he says he wants to kill himself- I cannot understand this. everyone says that he needs impatient, yada yada. Some have found impatient but that was through jail or for Alcohol ????
I really hope he is wanting this and not useing it as a scape cause Hes currently on a bond for felony and missed 2 of his pee test cause hes using . he has attoney advised him to get help otherwise hes proabily getting jail time. Maybe so, but there is a chance it will stick. He has lost everything at this point. Job, felony, I kicked him out of house, hasnt seen his kids, owes people money , OD 'd. Geez how much further can he go but 6 feet deep!
I am looking for advice as to what other people did to find a place for opiate rehab thats longer then 5 day detox- its there another way to explain to the facilities- If they offer payment plan to keep him somewhere, we will do!
I really hope he is wanting this and not useing it as a scape cause Hes currently on a bond for felony and missed 2 of his pee test cause hes using . he has attoney advised him to get help otherwise hes proabily getting jail time. Maybe so, but there is a chance it will stick. He has lost everything at this point. Job, felony, I kicked him out of house, hasnt seen his kids, owes people money , OD 'd. Geez how much further can he go but 6 feet deep!
I am looking for advice as to what other people did to find a place for opiate rehab thats longer then 5 day detox- its there another way to explain to the facilities- If they offer payment plan to keep him somewhere, we will do!
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
there have got to be a million places in the chicago area, and i'm thinking milwaukee is probably also large enough to find some place to treat him inpatient. do some searches, he might need a list of places and then HE can contact them and choose. i am fairly certain that the salvation army has a program in both of those cites, but look it up under "adult rehabilitation services", salvation army. it will be long-term, address more than just the addiction (work, religious, ) and it is no cost.
he may very well be running to avoid jail time. i'd be glad just the same. he wouldn't be the first one to have a change of heart AFTER he goes in.
best to you,
he may very well be running to avoid jail time. i'd be glad just the same. he wouldn't be the first one to have a change of heart AFTER he goes in.
best to you,
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
sorry he is having a hard time finding a place. have you checked salvation army or a state funded rehab? its good that he chose to go through detox, maybe he can talk to a conselor there to see if they can help him get into some place. thats what worked for me.
you know that he will probably be reminded of the tools of recovery there but it will be totally up to him whether or not he uses them, thats more than likely why it didn't work the first time. he has to ready and commited.
you know that he will probably be reminded of the tools of recovery there but it will be totally up to him whether or not he uses them, thats more than likely why it didn't work the first time. he has to ready and commited.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
If he truly wants recovery, he will do whatever it takes. No matter what. AA and NA are free and a great place to spend time until beds open up at a recovery center.
I always find it interesting that addicts expect everyone to drop everything when THEY are ready for recovery. And they always want it THEIR way. Like those rehabs have been holding a bed open for him ever since he got addicted... just waiting for him to see the light.
This is a great time to affirm your boundaries. What are they? And hold true to them. Promises of wanting help are great. And going to detox is great. But actions speak louder than words. I'd stay in the present and not expect too much. Then you won't be too disappointed if he doesn't follow through on what he told you.
But if he does... well... one day at a time. Addiction is a lifetime battle.
I always find it interesting that addicts expect everyone to drop everything when THEY are ready for recovery. And they always want it THEIR way. Like those rehabs have been holding a bed open for him ever since he got addicted... just waiting for him to see the light.
This is a great time to affirm your boundaries. What are they? And hold true to them. Promises of wanting help are great. And going to detox is great. But actions speak louder than words. I'd stay in the present and not expect too much. Then you won't be too disappointed if he doesn't follow through on what he told you.
But if he does... well... one day at a time. Addiction is a lifetime battle.
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: midwest
Posts: 44
Thank you all for the comments- I wouldnt of EVER thought the salvation army! Can he get state funded rehab if he has my insurance?
Funny you say that Hello kitty- I have the main boundry of him not allowed home- while in active addiction is one of them. It was kind of nice to get him to a safe place for now anyway to keep him away from here! I think he burnt all his bridges . So what other boundries can you have? I need some ideas on that.
I been doing my own thing for 3 weeks now- single mom, working, alnon and working the steps - MY RECOVERY. Finding myself again.
They called asking if I will meet a counsler on Sunday. I will totally bring that up about THEM and HIM finding impatient from detox.
Funny you say that Hello kitty- I have the main boundry of him not allowed home- while in active addiction is one of them. It was kind of nice to get him to a safe place for now anyway to keep him away from here! I think he burnt all his bridges . So what other boundries can you have? I need some ideas on that.
I been doing my own thing for 3 weeks now- single mom, working, alnon and working the steps - MY RECOVERY. Finding myself again.
They called asking if I will meet a counsler on Sunday. I will totally bring that up about THEM and HIM finding impatient from detox.
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
so he is in the detox center until sunday? and you are to go there and meet with someone? that's great.
yes, the "sally" has programs all over the country. this is actually one of the main things that their resources go to. it is not state-funded, and there is no requirement for insurance. a requirement of receiving the programming, room and board, is that the men put in a 30 - 40 hour work week, doing something necessary for the organization (cooking, janitorial, covering phones). it is most definitely "bible-based" and the religious foundation is baptist i believe - something that i personally cringe over - but they see hard-core addicts, who are spiritually bankrupt, and try and help them to connect (once again, or for the first time) with a god who is loving, who forgives and who meets them where they are. it can be extremely powerful.
sounds like you're doing really well.
yes, the "sally" has programs all over the country. this is actually one of the main things that their resources go to. it is not state-funded, and there is no requirement for insurance. a requirement of receiving the programming, room and board, is that the men put in a 30 - 40 hour work week, doing something necessary for the organization (cooking, janitorial, covering phones). it is most definitely "bible-based" and the religious foundation is baptist i believe - something that i personally cringe over - but they see hard-core addicts, who are spiritually bankrupt, and try and help them to connect (once again, or for the first time) with a god who is loving, who forgives and who meets them where they are. it can be extremely powerful.
sounds like you're doing really well.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Instead of running yourself ragged looking for solutions to his problems, have you considered letting the chips fall where they will? If he lands in jail with a drug problem, he will likely have more resources available to him than he does right now.
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Every rehab I investigated ( there have been many ) was willing to negotiate the
price -tag on inpatient treatment.
I sent my son three times. Only the 1st one was paid by Insur.
With the insur. company I had to make many aggressive calls to get them to
commit to inpatient. Even then, the rehab had to update them biweekly to get them to keep paying for the full time.
Sometimes the rehabs have a referral service to redirect you to sliding-scale county places if their private facility is too expensive for your budget.
It takes a lot of effort.
price -tag on inpatient treatment.
I sent my son three times. Only the 1st one was paid by Insur.
With the insur. company I had to make many aggressive calls to get them to
commit to inpatient. Even then, the rehab had to update them biweekly to get them to keep paying for the full time.
Sometimes the rehabs have a referral service to redirect you to sliding-scale county places if their private facility is too expensive for your budget.
It takes a lot of effort.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by mrsck09 
He's currently on a bond for felony and missed 2 of his pee test cause hes using . he has attoney advised him to get help otherwise hes proabily getting jail time.
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Jersey
Posts: 229
Cynical has posted a great source list for your husband...
Yes, inpatient would be nice...
However, if an addict is TRULY committed to getting better, IOP and NA/AA will work just as well. It is all about the tools that are needed to get and stay clean and sober.
Praying that his actions present themselves to being committed to working a program for a better way of life...
Yes, inpatient would be nice...
However, if an addict is TRULY committed to getting better, IOP and NA/AA will work just as well. It is all about the tools that are needed to get and stay clean and sober.
Praying that his actions present themselves to being committed to working a program for a better way of life...
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: midwest
Posts: 44
thanks so much everyone!!! He just called and said they might release him tomorrow. 
I am freaking out cuz I dont know what to do at this point. He said if I dont let him home his mom said he can stay there- the same moms house where he was getting enabled and she told me hes not allowed there. He said , um it sounds like you dont want me there... I replied, um I got my own thing going on here and I just dont think you can walk in here with suboxone and everything all peach keen. He said well just forget I called you and hung up. Of course now I am balling! He didnt even talk to our daughter. I guess it comes along with the deal of withdraw. I understand he is detoxing but now I have this stupid guilty feeling.
Cynical your aweseome.
out to lunch, yes he can go out of state. His attoney told me that directly that he can just needs to provide a letter from the facility.
Time to get the kids ready for bed. I am so Thankful you all spent time to help me
I am freaking out cuz I dont know what to do at this point. He said if I dont let him home his mom said he can stay there- the same moms house where he was getting enabled and she told me hes not allowed there. He said , um it sounds like you dont want me there... I replied, um I got my own thing going on here and I just dont think you can walk in here with suboxone and everything all peach keen. He said well just forget I called you and hung up. Of course now I am balling! He didnt even talk to our daughter. I guess it comes along with the deal of withdraw. I understand he is detoxing but now I have this stupid guilty feeling. Cynical your aweseome.
out to lunch, yes he can go out of state. His attoney told me that directly that he can just needs to provide a letter from the facility.
Time to get the kids ready for bed. I am so Thankful you all spent time to help me
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
No need for him to come home yet if you feel unsure. Why not wait and see what his actions are before you let him back into your family home.
This is typical unrecovered addict behavior. They do not think of their kids. They only think of themselves.
His mom already said that he could stay with her for a while. That's Great! He has a place to go. He has a list of recovery resources. Now "Hands Off the Addict".
Keep your focus where it belongs - on you and the kids. He is a grown man. He needs to learn to fend for himself and he needs to stop taking his frustrations on on his wife. THAT is part of recovery.
You didn't cause it.
You can't control it.
You can't cure it.
He didnt even talk to our daughter.
His mom already said that he could stay with her for a while. That's Great! He has a place to go. He has a list of recovery resources. Now "Hands Off the Addict".
Keep your focus where it belongs - on you and the kids. He is a grown man. He needs to learn to fend for himself and he needs to stop taking his frustrations on on his wife. THAT is part of recovery.
You didn't cause it.
You can't control it.
You can't cure it.
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