He's Out...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lancaster, PA
Posts: 852
Callie... settle down sweets. Listen, it DOES end. It CAN end. It does NOT have to end with you needing a jail cell to hold him back/away from you.
Bottom line, you simply contact the court again... (or find a new attorney who WILL handle this appropriatly).....
It's so simplistic. He's wrecked 3 (or 4) cant remember now-- cars.... put holes in the walls of your home, drove through a garage door.... has track marks all down his arms... ANY COP/ATTORNEY/COURT in their right mind WILL help you recieve a restraining order.
PERIOD.
you HAVE to stress to them what is transpiring... (and not in a "he's just a poor strung out guy right now). You TELL THEM, to come to your home, and they will view/take pics of the VISIBLE wreckage he has left behind. They now are aware of wrecked property of yours as well as others. They WILL help you if you are forth-comming and tell them what is transpiring.
ALSO. Have a male figure come stay in your home, friend, relative, etc. PERIOD. Have him confront ah if he arrives. THEN CALL THE COPS.
PERIOD.
Who cares if the police come take a screaming/kickin/ whatever lunatic off your door steps in front of your children? It's to the point of no return now--- and your survival instincts must set in.............. BECAUSE if you don't ... these kids will grow up and eventually resent YOU for NOT thinking highly enough of YOURSELF, and THEM, to take the b****** out of your lives.
TRUST ME!
Many many men I know.... *and research supports this* have anger issues/ major trust issues, that affect them to the core today, because an out-of-control FATHER was in their home and their MOTHER did NOTHING. (out of fear, obligation, financial security) etc.
Think of the future callie.
Please.
I'm praying you find your strength.
Love,
Cess
Bottom line, you simply contact the court again... (or find a new attorney who WILL handle this appropriatly).....
It's so simplistic. He's wrecked 3 (or 4) cant remember now-- cars.... put holes in the walls of your home, drove through a garage door.... has track marks all down his arms... ANY COP/ATTORNEY/COURT in their right mind WILL help you recieve a restraining order.
PERIOD.
you HAVE to stress to them what is transpiring... (and not in a "he's just a poor strung out guy right now). You TELL THEM, to come to your home, and they will view/take pics of the VISIBLE wreckage he has left behind. They now are aware of wrecked property of yours as well as others. They WILL help you if you are forth-comming and tell them what is transpiring.
ALSO. Have a male figure come stay in your home, friend, relative, etc. PERIOD. Have him confront ah if he arrives. THEN CALL THE COPS.
PERIOD.
Who cares if the police come take a screaming/kickin/ whatever lunatic off your door steps in front of your children? It's to the point of no return now--- and your survival instincts must set in.............. BECAUSE if you don't ... these kids will grow up and eventually resent YOU for NOT thinking highly enough of YOURSELF, and THEM, to take the b****** out of your lives.
TRUST ME!
Many many men I know.... *and research supports this* have anger issues/ major trust issues, that affect them to the core today, because an out-of-control FATHER was in their home and their MOTHER did NOTHING. (out of fear, obligation, financial security) etc.
Think of the future callie.
Please.
I'm praying you find your strength.
Love,
Cess
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 267
go back into protect mode... cleanup the mess mode can wait for a bit... go back to your parents and let him continue on. With the track record he has for this week he will do something else to get picked up and then no one (not even an easily conned lawyer) will be willing to bail him out. Just stay out of his way and keep you and the kids safe. Look at it this way... if he ends up destroying the home you can make millions on the talk show circuit with your book about how the laws to protect the innocent were not there for you
; )
; )
Hi Calli . from what Ive read hes been doing its only a matter of time that he does something stupid like drive again , sad thing is its comes to you , but this mite push the " you will sit NOW " botton . and will not get bonded out by anyone ! stay safe hun ~ huggles ~
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
I hate drama. So draining. My ex used to cause me so much drama. It was hell. I distanced myself by avoiding contact at all costs. I put some hard core boundaries in place to protect myself and my son. Yes. They were hard core and it wasn't something I wanted to do or I was comfortable with since I wasn't used to doing that but it was the only thing he understood. I had to protect my possessions, my son and my sanity. My boundaries gave me stability - a plan.
Funny how, even with my firm boundaries, he still hasn't gone away. They just don't go away. But at least there are guidelines in place so that I know how to respond in situations with out having to think about it anymore. It's become routine and less draining.
I know you are in the midst of hell right now, but wise choices and firm boundaries will help you reach that point. Things will be ok. Just keep moving forward one step at a time. I keep my plan in the forefront of my mind so that he does not distract from my goal of a safe, stable, healthy, happy life for me and my son.
Hang in there. Keep posting.
Funny how, even with my firm boundaries, he still hasn't gone away. They just don't go away. But at least there are guidelines in place so that I know how to respond in situations with out having to think about it anymore. It's become routine and less draining.
I know you are in the midst of hell right now, but wise choices and firm boundaries will help you reach that point. Things will be ok. Just keep moving forward one step at a time. I keep my plan in the forefront of my mind so that he does not distract from my goal of a safe, stable, healthy, happy life for me and my son.
Hang in there. Keep posting.
I literally only have a minute, but wanted to remind you that you are a very strong woman, whether you want to admit it or not. You have control over the situation, not him. Show him who's boss! Y-O-U!
Hugs,
Judy
Hugs,
Judy
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